Started working at an elementary school last week. Shocked and sad. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Informal AMA thread. I am already shocked and saddened by the state of public elementary. This is in a wealthy suburb. There’s is a free lunch contingent but test scores are excellent and if you watch morning drop off it’s a lot of luxury vehicles.

I’m shocked at how we enroll and keep some kids who have academic and social needs we can’t possibly meet. Often a helper is assigned to one of these kids to try to keep the kid safe while 20 other 6 years old try to ignore yelling and crying and distraction to learn from their teacher. I’ve heard 7 year olds using language I’d feel guilty about even repeating! I’ve watched teacher be kicked and punched and slapped, again by 6 and 7 year olds! And the hot lunches shocked me. The other day I watched one kid eat the following for lunch: giant chocolate chip muffin, chocolate milk, sugary Dannon yogurt, low fat string cheese. This is a “balanced” meal provided by the school.

Maybe I am just out of touch, but I feel many typical parents would be surprised to hear what elementary school is like for their kids.

Yep. It is like this. Imagine in a not affluent area.

You know how people consider being in the military to being a stepping stone/asset/sort of requirement to holding elected office? I think that spending time in a public school should replace or go along side that qualification. It is in the schools where so many of the social and economic issues affecting families is apparent. It is really laid bare.

It is a pretty well off suburb, actually. I grew up in a much more working class and middle class town and it was not like this from what I remember.

[Anonymous]

Agree that NCLB was a disaster. Lots of negative consequences for schools that couldn’t close the gap or show sufficient progress but no actual help for schools to do so.

I also have a sneaking suspicions that decades of chemical use in this country are finally catching up with us — even in the rich areas. There is growing research showing that a lot of these developmental or neurological issues are affected by things like chemicals in the food/water and by gut biome (in turn affected by antibiotics in the food/water). It’s not just increased diagnosis or different parenting — I can see it in my own family over the last 50 years (big family so big sample size) — the ADHD is worse, the anxiety is worse, ASD is more common.

[Anonymous]

I volunteered in my 2nd grade child’s class one time this year and was shocked by the mix of kids. There was one child who clearly would have benefitted from a special needs classroom. He was misbehaving terribly — throwing his body around, repetitively sharpening pencils, cursing loudly and trying to physically tackle another boy (multiple times) who appeared to have more classic adhd. There was a girl who would have been in a special ed class back in 80’s — just judging from the level of guidance it took her to understand classroom instructions… and then there was a boy with some physical disabilities who was only a little disruptive. And of course there were plenty of other kids too. The teacher is great, but I don’t understand how she is supposed to make it through this year. I feel terrible about it and I work full time, so I can’t be a regular volunteer. Somehow, my child is still learning in this chaotic environment. Also an affluent suburb… although, that shouldn’t matter… it did get me thinking about what must be happening in other schools.

[Anonymous]

OP, volunteering or working part time in a school is very eye opening. Parents have no idea what goes on, they think the kids are actually learning all day. The disruptions are in all classes. Teachers' train of thought is constantly interrupted by the same subset of students who cannot function in the classroom setting.

The language of young students can be shocking -- is it true. Even little kids can know all the words, and will use them at school. I think all parents should be required to volunteer for a full day at school during the school year. It would open their eyes.

This was in NOVA, in a good school pyramid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this feeling too. I volunteered at a kindergarten party in my sons class. 30 kids one teacher one aid. The aid spent the entire time trying to get 3 kids under control. They were throwing chairs in the reading corner, tackling each other, yelling and screaming. I finally understood why when I had the parent teacher conference it seemed like the teacher had no clue who my average child was. He was lost in the noise, sometimes literally. It was heartbreaking. I don’t fault the teachers I fault government actors who have consistently fought to under support public education for the last 40 years and the push to mainstream all children which does not provide those most in need with environs conducive to their own healthy growth and learning and undermines the education of more average performers. It’s doing so much damage to our nation and children. I don’t know what can be done. [/quote

This happened to my kids in grade school, too. Solid students, bright kids, but neither the standout redshirted student or the class troublemaker(s). Absent from the teacher's radar. The thing is, my kids picked up on it. One of my kids had a desk name tag with the wrong name (and a similar name of the other gender) for half the year. My student said why bother asking the teacher to change it, it's like I'm invisible in here, anyway. Please don't say anything, mom. My kids didn't blame the teachers because they knew the teacher was overwhelmed. They did feel frustrated by it, though. I spent a lot of time motivating them behind the scenes to keep going unnoticed in a sea of chaos. One of my kids had a teacher in low middle who called her "you" for the entire year. My kid chose to find it humorous. Kid is now at a top-tier university. They don't miss NOVA schools.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how it’s ok to let children stay in a classroom when they are physically and verbally assaulting other kids and the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I volunteered in my 2nd grade child’s class one time this year and was shocked by the mix of kids. There was one child who clearly would have benefitted from a special needs classroom. He was misbehaving terribly — throwing his body around, repetitively sharpening pencils, cursing loudly and trying to physically tackle another boy (multiple times) who appeared to have more classic adhd. There was a girl who would have been in a special ed class back in 80’s — just judging from the level of guidance it took her to understand classroom instructions… and then there was a boy with some physical disabilities who was only a little disruptive. And of course there were plenty of other kids too. The teacher is great, but I don’t understand how she is supposed to make it through this year. I feel terrible about it and I work full time, so I can’t be a regular volunteer. Somehow, my child is still learning in this chaotic environment. Also an affluent suburb… although, that shouldn’t matter… it did get me thinking about what must be happening in other schools.

Make sure your student knows that you are noticing when he or she does well. When report cards come home, and your child has done good work in some (or all areas), take your kid out ot dinner, or for ice cream, as a reward for work well done. This is very important, because if your child is not getting noticed at school thanks to all the chaos then it is up to you to notice your child's performance in a sea of chaos. Tell your child that you are proud of them, and to keep up the good work. How you know it cannot be easy to navigate a crazy classroom environment. Do this with every single report card. Let your kid know you notice how hard they are trying to rise above the chaos. We did this, and our kids were better off for it. They need you as a motivator to keep going in that environment. They need you to notice them when they might be flying under the radar because the teacher isn't able to really "see" them with so many troublemakers in the room.

[Anonymous]

Yea, you're out of touch Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think our kids don’t tell us this stuff? We know.

What are you doing to help get troubled kids the help they need? (That the school frequently refuses to provide.)

Np this person is ONE person. What do you expect them to accomplish?

[Anonymous]

Sadly there are a lot of bad parents out there. Some who are lazy and prefer to let schools "parents their kids, and others who can't accept their children's aren't as capable as others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it’s ok to let children stay in a classroom when they are physically and verbally assaulting other kids and the teacher.

It isn't. But there don't appear to be any options these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No child left behind REALLY screwed so many kids. It hasn't helped kids avoid being academically left behind. And "least restrictive environment" isn't helpful when the kid is verbally disruptive.

+1 Very rarely will non-teachers admit this. But NCLB/IDEA/FAPE ruined public schools in the US. The Federal Government and Congress like the publicity of “helping everyone” but provided no funding. So then all children suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it’s ok to let children stay in a classroom when they are physically and verbally assaulting other kids and the teacher.

It isn't. But there don't appear to be any options these days.

Anyone physically assaulted should be contacting the police each and every time. Teachers and parents of children that are assaulted.

[Anonymous]

You think 7 year olds use bad language? Try teaching 6th grade. What is your background, OP? Most experienced teachers I know, including myself, understand that this is just the nature of the beast. As such, we have the skills to manage these these types behaviors. I welcome neurodiverse kids into my classroom (with proper support!) because I know how to manage them without compromising the learning of my other students. Plus they force me to become a better teacher.

[Anonymous]

What is your role in the school, OP?