The pressure of deciding what to put on a headstone….

[Anonymous]

You’re all so kind and thoughtful. This is the OP. You have me tearing up with your thoughtful responses. I miss my dad acutely tonight but it’s bittersweet. I hope you all have a nice evening and thank you for sharing your ideas and experiences and kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband filled out the form. He put quotes around what the wanted on the headstone. That was wrong. The headstone was made and they used the quotation marks. This bugged him for decades. He finally paid for a new headstone.

Side note - I had a new beautiful stone wall put up last year and the most beautiful stones used were headstone mistakes. Beautiful repurpose.

Op, I agree with others, nothing will capture his essence. However, it does have an impact on me when I read the broader ‘who’ of who they were - husband, uncle, friend, father and forever a student of world history. I’d suggest something along those lines.

[Anonymous]

Here Lies John Doe

Pardon me for not rising

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again - even if you have a funny or memorable headstone that you e seen and want to share what it looked like and said, maybe that will shake me out of my funk. Thanks to anyone who weighs in.

Here's a great one in DC -- Evelyn Davis, "Queen of the Corporate Jungle" at the entrance of Rock Creek Cemetery. It's huge, it's pink, and it includes the names of all her ex-husbands. https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/evelyn-y-davis-gravestone

[Anonymous]

No one is going to see the headstone. Really. My mother died in 2010. Have been to her gravesite only once because she’s not there. I was with her when she was alive. My sister has been. No one else has been.

[Anonymous]

Walk through congressional cemetery for ideas...lots of creativity there. I like the headstones that are also benches if you plan to visit a lot, so you have somewhere to sit

[Anonymous]

Simple is my style BUT...

My mom did my dad's headstone and simple was NOT her style...she wrote everything she could think of. A poem, some tribute language. Acknowledged his humor. It's kind of funny as his headstone stands out as there is so much on it. It's more like it memorializes my mom and what she thought about him.

When my mom passed away, I had to do the headstone...and I knew she took what was written seriously and cared about how much thought went into it. It took me a year but I ended up writing a 4 or 5 line tribute that I think she would like and that, for me, summed her up in some ways. I know hardly anyone will ever see it or read it but it just felt like something I had to do.

Good luck whatever you decide. Make it something you are pleased with. Even a line from what you may have said at his funeral...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re all so kind and thoughtful. This is the OP. You have me tearing up with your thoughtful responses. I miss my dad acutely tonight but it’s bittersweet. I hope you all have a nice evening and thank you for sharing your ideas and experiences and kindness.

OP, I’m so sorry. Warm condolences. You’re so sweet to try to honor your dad this way.

Going through a rough patch with my mom who is moving into assisted living in a few days. She has her entire funeral planned down to young adult grandchildren who are assigned hymns to sing and or accompany on their preferred hobby musical instruments! I’ve read through her plans that she has shown me. Also: her headstone - I cringe and really don’t want to follow her wishes. Similar to, “LIVE! LAUGH! LOVE!” (And yes in all caps)

I think we all can agree that simple is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re all so kind and thoughtful. This is the OP. You have me tearing up with your thoughtful responses. I miss my dad acutely tonight but it’s bittersweet. I hope you all have a nice evening and thank you for sharing your ideas and experiences and kindness.

OP, I’m so sorry. Warm condolences. You’re so sweet to try to honor your dad this way.

Going through a rough patch with my mom who is moving into assisted living in a few days. She has her entire funeral planned down to young adult grandchildren who are assigned hymns to sing and or accompany on their preferred hobby musical instruments! I’ve read through her plans that she has shown me. Also: her headstone - I cringe and really don’t want to follow her wishes. Similar to, “LIVE! LAUGH! LOVE!” (And yes in all caps)

I think we all can agree that simple is best.

Weirdly, I love walking through cemeteries. When I lived in (insert unsafe neighborhood here), I walked in the nearby cemetery all the time. It was peaceful and largely safe. I love looking at headstones and I love headstones that show a bit of the person's personality. While I might not be a live, laugh, love person myself, I would appreciate a person who was and who had it on their gravestone. It's a piece of their personality showing through the passage of time.