Sharing a story of loss and the "I've never had problems conceiving" person comments

[Anonymous]

I understand the pain that is driving OP, but OP needs to realize that people cannot relate to them 100%, much like OP cannot relate to their struggles 100%. We're all a bit clumsy.

Wishing none of us needed to experience the invisible poison that is infertility, but hoping we can call pull through and make peace with our outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also have no problem concieving, but have never been able to give birth to a living child. It’s devastating and crushing. I quit my job and hid in my bedroom for 6 months after one particularly devastating / complicated and physically drawn out miscarriage.

The statement “I’ve never had trouble conceiving” is a factual one, and you are choosing to be offended. Just like the baby showers, baby gender reveals and baby announcements all hurt I don’t blame those folks for just living their lives.

Not OP, but how is that even the same? Those having events, announcing, etc. are not doing so in response to someone. Saying I've never had to try to conceive following someone sharing their misfortune is absolutely the wrong time and place. I had to tell a friend to stop making everything about herself when another friend was sharing less than great news. Just ask how I can support and be an ear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quote you're using doesn't sound awful at all, OP.

"You suck at having babies, and I excel at it." Not the worst, but why would you say that?

If OP I'd force a smile and say "you're so very fortunate."

I don't read it that way either. I am super fertile. My husband jokes that he can show his d.. from across the room and I am getting pregnant. Believe me, it is not fun. It is a lot of pressure and takes a lot of joy out of sex even if you are very careful with birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quote you're using doesn't sound awful at all, OP.

"You suck at having babies, and I excel at it." Not the worst, but why would you say that?

If OP I'd force a smile and say "you're so very fortunate."

I don't read it that way either. I am super fertile. My husband jokes that he can show his d.. from across the room and I am getting pregnant. Believe me, it is not fun. It is a lot of pressure and takes a lot of joy out of sex even if you are very careful with birth control.

Oh FFS - unless you have needed multiple terminations, enough with the stress of it all. We conceived easily all three times, when I was between 35 and 40. No miscarriages. I still had the decency to be thoughtful about how I shared the news with friends I knew had difficulty conceiving. It’s really not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quote you're using doesn't sound awful at all, OP.

"You suck at having babies, and I excel at it." Not the worst, but why would you say that?

If OP I'd force a smile and say "you're so very fortunate."

I don't read it that way either. I am super fertile. My husband jokes that he can show his d.. from across the room and I am getting pregnant. Believe me, it is not fun. It is a lot of pressure and takes a lot of joy out of sex even if you are very careful with birth control.

And that's fine to joke about. But joking about it in a thread about someone's infertility, or right after a family member talks about their struggle with infertility is in bad taste. Save it for someone else, or some other time.

It's like my SIL who complained to me that I had it easier than her because 3 kids is really hard, like a week after we buried one of my three children. Yes, it's hard to parent 3 kids, but pick someone else to complain to about that.