What advice would you give your young adult child if they aspire to raise a large family (to have 4+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them they are selfish and willfully clueless because overpopulation is the single most important contributor to environmental collapse. Including that favorite hashtag of GenZ, climate change.

I would also add that they’d not Golden Retrievers so why are they intending to breed as if they were kennel dogs?

Don’t believe me? Try this: what would you say to another adult who told you their plan was to acquire 4-6 Golden Retrievers in the next few years? And thereafter always live in a household with six large dogs? Not as a business but just a home with 4-6 dogs cause you just always wanted a lot of dogs?

[Anonymous]

Only that it makes it hard to really invest in any one of the kids - so fewer activities, fewer holidays, less clothes etc. And that women fought for years not to have to have so many kids because it is bloody hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:kids)?

Just tell them to do research in how much money, effort and time goes into it. Tell them not to take advice from people who have 4 or more, people try to justify their bad decisions to themselves and to others. Also ask if they divorced or one passed away, how would they handle things. Its an inconsiderate decision. Yes, they think they want it but so what, most men want 4 young wives but doesn't mean they can afford and handle it, how many men who are allowed to have 4 wives, actually opt for it or how many women who theoretically subscribe to that theocracy, would allow their husbands to do it.

[Anonymous]

Start with one and see how it goes

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the advice today would be any different than advice that would have been given 10, 20, 30 or 40 years ago. The big difference is that everything nowadays is more expensive, especially college.

Bottom line: you need money and one of you needs to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only that it makes it hard to really invest in any one of the kids - so fewer activities, fewer holidays, less clothes etc. And that women fought for years not to have to have so many kids because it is bloody hard.

You mean “some” women. It’s about choice.

[Anonymous]

Move to LCOL

[Anonymous]

I think people who aspire to have a lot of kids see if from the perspective of having a big fun loving family of adult children. They don’t consider the chaos and exhaustion of 4 young kids. Tell her to babysit or work at a preschool and the. Ask herself, plus I handle 4 of these on my own simultaneously?

[Anonymous]

1) If they’re not asking for your advice, say nothing. MYOB.

2) There’s a reason you (generally) have them one at a time. High likelihood they end up choosing to have fewer kids than that (don’t say this to them! This is an FYI for you)

3) If they are asking for your advice, don’t ask at DCUM. There’s a real small family bias here. Even 3 kids is seen as an outlier. As is the case in high cost of living places among upper middle class professionals. That’s a demo that has 1-3 kids, not more. But there are plenty of people all over the country, and even here in the DC area, that have 4 or more kids. Those are the people to talk to about this. Not randos on DCUM. I’d be shocked if anyone who responded so far has 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) If they’re not asking for your advice, say nothing. MYOB.

2) There’s a reason you (generally) have them one at a time. High likelihood they end up choosing to have fewer kids than that (don’t say this to them! This is an FYI for you)

3) If they are asking for your advice, don’t ask at DCUM. There’s a real small family bias here. Even 3 kids is seen as an outlier. As is the case in high cost of living places among upper middle class professionals. That’s a demo that has 1-3 kids, not more. But there are plenty of people all over the country, and even here in the DC area, that have 4 or more kids. Those are the people to talk to about this. Not randos on DCUM. I’d be shocked if anyone who responded so far has 4 kids.

Small family bias, true, but rightfully so.

Kids take money lots of it. Kids need attention lots of it. When people have these large families mom isn't raising these kids the older siblings are.

[Anonymous]

Live somewhere with a moderate or low cost of living and good public schools. Bonus if one or both parents are in the medical field, because that's a) portable, and b) flexible for working more or less, as needed.

I have just three kids, live outside Fredericksburg (don't commute to DC), and we have plenty of money, and more than enough to have had a fourth (I now regret not having a 4th).

[Anonymous]

Car big enough to accommodate 4 car seats. Air fare for family of 6. Hotel rooms for family of 6. Day care, school, tuition, college, sports, music lessons etc for 4. Orthodontist for 4. Cars for 4 teens. Disney trip for 6. Etc etc.

As grandparents your expenses would get thinly stretched among 4.

[Anonymous]

House big enough to accommodate the chaos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Small family bias, true, but rightfully so.

Kids take money lots of it. Kids need attention lots of it. When people have these large families mom isn't raising these kids the older siblings are.

This^

[Anonymous]

Do they care about the future of the planet?

Lots of children will mean a lot of future resources depleted, and then their kids and their kids...multiplier effect is real.