Feeling desperate-quit my job?

[Anonymous]

I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Some people have a lack of motivation from Adderall. Do you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist? Could you try a different medication?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Did they check your thyroid?

OK, so no screens. But you get my drift. You need some incremental changes to buy yourself a little margin. Because if you quit your job to care for kids with SN and are relying on your ASD/ADHD spouse to be the breadwinner, you will just be exchanging one set of stressors for another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Did they check your thyroid?

OK, so no screens. But you get my drift. You need some incremental changes to buy yourself a little margin. Because if you quit your job to care for kids with SN and are relying on your ASD/ADHD spouse to be the breadwinner, you will just be exchanging one set of stressors for another.

Op here. Thyroid was good.

I know you’re right about the stressors. I just feel so miserable and don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to make the incremental changes and they haven’t worked-just too hard to implement with therapies, winter illnesses, work demands, doc appointments, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Some people have a lack of motivation from Adderall. Do you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist? Could you try a different medication?

Op here. I’ve been working with a psychiatrist for 6 months to get to this drug combo. I only take the adderall a few times a week to help me work and cope with sleep deprivation. My motivation isn’t the problem, I don’t think. It’s just the workload/demands of my life feel bigger than what I can rise to.

[Anonymous]

I don't think quitting your job will make you feel any better. I think you will feel more trapped.


What therapy is your daughter in? That is what you need to address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Some people have a lack of motivation from Adderall. Do you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist? Could you try a different medication?

Op here. I’ve been working with a psychiatrist for 6 months to get to this drug combo. I only take the adderall a few times a week to help me work and cope with sleep deprivation. My motivation isn’t the problem, I don’t think. It’s just the workload/demands of my life feel bigger than what I can rise to.

In your OP, you wrote a lot about what you're doing, your responsibilities, your job, everything that you're handling. But you didn't say anything about your friends, your family beyond your immediate family, your interests. What are the good things that you do or would do, given more time or flexibility? Meet Jenny for coffee? Have lunch with your mother? Go on a date with your DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think quitting your job will make you feel any better. I think you will feel more trapped.


What therapy is your daughter in? That is what you need to address.

Op here. There are for sure problems on that end, but I feel like it’s a topic for another thread.

[Anonymous]

can you get a night nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Some people have a lack of motivation from Adderall. Do you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist? Could you try a different medication?

Op here. I’ve been working with a psychiatrist for 6 months to get to this drug combo. I only take the adderall a few times a week to help me work and cope with sleep deprivation. My motivation isn’t the problem, I don’t think. It’s just the workload/demands of my life feel bigger than what I can rise to.

In your OP, you wrote a lot about what you're doing, your responsibilities, your job, everything that you're handling. But you didn't say anything about your friends, your family beyond your immediate family, your interests. What are the good things that you do or would do, given more time or flexibility? Meet Jenny for coffee? Have lunch with your mother? Go on a date with your DH?

Op here. I have no family beyond my immediate family.

I would love to see my friends for lunches or coffee. I’ve never not worked ever, it’s hard for me to picture. I think what I really dream of would be the chance to exercise and go outside. And sleep.

I acknowledge my plan probably doesn’t make sense but I feel a sense of NOT THIS about my life every day. I feel like I’ve been toiling for years trying to find some way to make it all feel more manageable and the realization I’m coming to is that I don’t know what else to try. Fundamentally the parameters of my life feel untenable.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Quit. Maybe substitute teach for a few years

[Anonymous]

Can you go part-time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get your thyroid tested, if you haven't already. Take vitamin D. It sticks out to me that you are exhausted now even while on break. That seems like a sign that quitting your job alone would not solve this.

How can you get more time for yourself? Let's assume you need to regain an hour a day for exercise or personal time. What is possible? Could you hire more help, or could your kid watch TV with DH? Hire cleaning help? Teach the 6 yo to do more? You need to save yourself, here.

Op here. My vitamin d levels are low but not super low and I’ve been treating that for several months now. I’ve noticed zero difference. I’m also taking antidepressants and adderall.

My DD has zero interest in screens, unfortunately. We even got her a brand new iPad for Christmas and she won’t use it for more than a minute or two at a time.

Slightly off topic….but I found that treating vitamin d with supplements didn’t work and only saw a difference when I got more actual sunlight. Not sure how you are treating it.

It sounds to me that quitting your job won’t help. Can you get an au pair in addition to the nanny so that you can have more time to yourself after work? I think sometimes you can get them paid through Medicaid waivers (this is based on what I have heard not experience) so the overall cost might not be that bad.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it sounds crazy to quit, OP. Especially if that would give you some time to care for yourself.