Grandparents told DS to "just stop" regarding calls and texts to help rebook flights

[Anonymous]

I would stay home if I were then.

Also, OP you have to start to appreciate that for many older people traveling is very difficult. The layover, DcA, and baggage check comments are clear signals that flying is hard for them now, and they cannot handle the complications of holiday flights anymore.

[Anonymous]

Kid doesn’t know his place. Deserves a spanking.

Team grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Your dad is in the middle a trial TODAY and your kid is blowing up his phone with stupid texts?

I would be furious if my DH or kids did that. Nor do I interrupt my DH a lot during the day when he has an important presentation.

Do you know how stressful trials can be? The fact you think this is about their stress over travel plans is…odd and evidence he successfully hid his work stress from you as a kid, so there is that. You seem oblivious. As oblivious as your kid.

Having the kid contact them about the flights/trip is very manipulative. It is hard to say no to your grandkids. Very passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But for the sad texts with decor and some side-eyed comments about the trip you already took, I don’t see what they did wrong. Your 8 year old sounds annoyingly precocious, and that should be handled before he gets much older and becomes insufferable for all.

Flying is stressful and this season is particularly bad. I don’t blame your dad for not wanting to upset his plans too much after an already stressful trial.

+1. It doesn’t even sound like your mother yelled at your son or anything close to that, which frankly is what many people could’ve/would’ve done in a similarly stressful situation. I get that your son was just trying to help, and he’s clearly disappointed about not seeing his grandparents, but he really was out of line. 8 year olds shouldn’t get involved in helping to plan other people’s travel unless specifically asked to do so.

[Anonymous]

Why was an 8 year involved in making travel arrangements? This has to be a troll post because it can’t be real.

[Anonymous]

You are out of your mind. Your parents do not want to deal with this today.

Your son was out of line, and you should have apologized for him bothering them with this - after they told you when they planned to make the arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want your parents come to visit anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This morning, my 8 year old son sent my mom texts that said (from son's name) and were clearly written by an 8 year old. He said that my DH had found tickets for them and offered to use his status and points. He said that the ticket prices were increasing. He asked my mom (or dad) to call me and DH. He then FaceTimed my mom two hours later, as he had the flight schedule on his tablet and saw the price changes. My mom was texting us all morning in a group text and separate texts plus my dad was sending group texts from when his flights were canceled until he called me from my mom's phone (he has never done that) to ask DS, age 8, to "just stop" and that he was not going to fly to DC unless he could fly to DCA only (DH found flights to Dulles and BWI, which we offered to pickup parents), unless the flight was allowing checked bags (my parent's airline had suggested only carryon and my parents NEVER check bags), unless my husband had found direct flights from their city to DCA at the same time as the flight he had prior. My DS is devastated.

...But my 8 year old called her from his Ipad

...DS is really hurt that my parents yelled at him and were "unkind". I explained to DS that my parents should not have reacted to a child like that, but they have anxiety about traveling and are not savvy about prices going up and can't make quick decisions.

Some red flags here OP. Are you the same type of mom who complains about teachers at your children's school in front of the kids?

There is currently an epidemic of anxiety and depression going on in this country. I believe that much of it, especially in the DMV, can be attributed to parents who treat their children like little adults. The undue pressure this puts on children robs them of their childhood and doesn't give them the chance to be kids, to play, and to learn life skills in an organic and gradual way. Maybe time to re-evaluate how much, and what information you share with DS8.

Since you come from a family with some challenging/wound up parents, it'll be even more important for you to establish these boundaries with your own child.

[Anonymous]

If this is real, which I doubt (having come to my senses about how ridiculous this premise is), then you have to leave your kid out of adult situations. Or, if you insist on having him be involved, then at least don't be shocked when people react in frustration.

If your 8-year-old is truly gifted at phone negotiations, perhaps he can make some money today helping out the thousands of upset Southwest travelers.

[Anonymous]

Confused by the people who suggest slapping or spanking the son. Seems like he just wanted his grandparents to visit?

[Anonymous]

You're not raising your kid right if you allow him to bother a trial lawyer during a trial. That's just unacceptable behavior. YOU are in the wrong here. Parent your kid, OP.

Also, you need to apologize.

Also, you need to learn how to write clearly an concisely.

I mean, reading this I cringe for you. You should have stopped your kid from engaging. Either you're a troll or you're extremely stupid. I hope your kid's other parent is involved in his care and more intelligent than you are...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Confused by the people who suggest slapping or spanking the son. Seems like he just wanted his grandparents to visit?

Hmm. I think OP (and the other parent, possibly) deserves the blame. The poor kid doesn't know where the boundaries are if they haven't been explained to him.

[Anonymous]

Is your DS an only child? Do you talk about his maturity level a lot or how extremely bright he is? I know soo many parents like you

Your kid is not precious and their behavior was obnoxious. No wonder your parents want to avoid your family. You kind of are insufferable. Stop thinking of how you have been wronged and spend some time on why you couldn’t just say to your DS - that was unacceptable and it was for adults to handle don’t do it again

[Anonymous]

I can't really track the narrative here but here are my takeaways:

1. OP is passive aggressive AF in her relationship with her parents. There is just some much implied annoyance/anger with them, so many places where she is assuming that they are annoyed/angry, and so much interpreting of actions as "petty" or "childish" when there are other explanations for it. And I say this as someone who spent years in therapy due to having "emotionally immature" parents! So I'm not saying her parents aren't emotionally immature. But I can say for sure that OP is, and that a lot of the issues here stem from her need to be right, to be the hero, to cast herself as understanding and forbearing while portraying everyone else as petty and cruel. It's exhausting. That's what people are responding so negatively here, OP -- you are painting yourself or your family as a martyr and honestly none of this seems that bad.

2. Travel was a huge cluster for everyone this year. It's stressful. There should be a lot of empathy and understanding on all sides. Everyone in this story needs to drop the guilt trips and recriminations. None of you are responsible for the travel issues. Chalk it up to problems beyond your control and treat each other with kindness.

3. I don't like people lecturing my kid (not how I parent) and might be annoyed with a comment like "just stop". But I also don't support my kids in sending repeated messages or FaceTimes with people who are in the midst of a logistical crisis? I definitely wouldn't endorse my kid sending them flight updates or saying stuff like "prices are going up Grandma, you probably want to book now." Sounds like the 8 year old is being trained up in the grand tradition of guilt trips and passive aggression in your family. In a way "just stop" is the first direct expression of a reasonable boundary in this entire story and for that reason and that reason alone, I think I support it. You all need to just stop, frankly.

[Anonymous]

It’s not just your son texting about flights. It was your DH or you and your siblings. Your mom already said she is not committing to travel plans without discussing it with her traveling partner. Your father is in trial which others have said is a hugely stressful event. I am not kidding when I tell you that I cannot make a decision on what I am eating during trial, let alone holiday travel in terrible weather? But throughout this, you guys are all texting the same darn thing? That your parents already told you they cannot address at that time?

I would have muted all of you.