Is it strange to feel this way about my elderly widow mother dating again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine to feel either way. You sister might feel differently just because she's a different person, or, because she fears losing her connection with your mom (and potential babysitting?). But there's no right way to feel.

I completely agree with this. I’ll say that in theory I was totally fine with my mom having a relationship a few years after my father’s death, but the reality—a whirlwind romance and marriage after a short time to someone who was the complete opposite of my father— was jarring. So, it’s okay to feel however you feel, and for your sister to feel however she feels, but also know that how you feel might change as the situation changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine to feel either way. You sister might feel differently just because she's a different person, or, because she fears losing her connection with your mom (and potential babysitting?). But there's no right way to feel.

I completely agree with this. I’ll say that in theory I was totally fine with my mom having a relationship a few years after my father’s death, but the reality—a whirlwind romance and marriage after a short time to someone who was the complete opposite of my father— was jarring. So, it’s okay to feel however you feel, and for your sister to feel however she feels, but also know that how you feel might change as the situation changes.

NP. Did your mom have a prenup, as an earlier poster suggested? If she dies before the new husband, will her husband, and in turn his children, inherit her assets?

[Anonymous]

Your mother is entitled to her own happiness. If you love her, you'll support her. This board is unbelievable for making every single issue about the adult children.

[Anonymous]

1. If this was your father in this situation and not your mother, would your sister feel differently? Just something to think about.
2. Is your Mom actually dating? Your OP was unclear. My mom was widowed at age 72 and while she is very busy with tons of groups and activities, she is not dating anyone. She has a lot of friends who are also widows and they enjoy hanging out together.

[Anonymous]

I think of the assets, too. I’ve already decided I won’t get married again if hubby dies before I do. My grandmother didn’t want to become someone’s nurse. She created a great life and had lots of friends after my grandfather died and did that without getting married.

I would not get remarried without a trust and/or prenup, because I want my own children to inherit.