really, how much for elem school teachers (public) and prek (private) (NOVA)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else find this gift giving to teachers so bizarre? I can't believe there aren't more limits. As a social worker we have ethical rules about this kind of thing (and it basically amounts to no gift giving or very little). This is because there are power dynamics at play. I realize teaching is different and has different boundaries, different power issues but I still find it so strange that there is an expectation to give really significant gifts. I completely agree that teachers are underpaid, but I don't think holiday gifts are somehow leveling that field. But it certainly puts families who earn more and less on unequal footing and just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't want to be a cheapskate so I try to give a gift but just sharing my internal feelings about it because.. I guess that's what dcum is for.

I agree. It’s insulting - I didn’t give my lawyer a Christmas gift.

So I give stuff for the classroom - tissues, chlorox wipes, snacks, new books for classroom library, etc. I should give that stuff anyway so it’s just a reminder to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am giving $10 gift cards to the public elementary classroom teacher. If the teacher gets from 2/3, that’s $200+ which seems an exceedingly generous amount. I teach secondary and generally get $10 total, so the huge gifts in elementary are mind boggling to me.

Specials are getting $5 cards.

I am also giving to the counselor who has worked with our DC a lot this past month (again, $10). It’s a token acknowledgment, not a major gift. To gift large sums to anyone currently teaching/guiding your child makes me uncomfortable.

I am glad I am not the only one who feels uncormfortable giving $$$ mid-year.

I give a token gift for Christmas and then give more at the end of the year. I completely admit to giving more to a teacher who has done a stellar job as opposed to one who just went through the motions.

[Anonymous]

I teach in a Title 1 school. I’ve never gotten a gift card or cash from a student. Occasionally I will get a gift or card but that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else find this gift giving to teachers so bizarre? I can't believe there aren't more limits. As a social worker we have ethical rules about this kind of thing (and it basically amounts to no gift giving or very little). This is because there are power dynamics at play. I realize teaching is different and has different boundaries, different power issues but I still find it so strange that there is an expectation to give really significant gifts. I completely agree that teachers are underpaid, but I don't think holiday gifts are somehow leveling that field. But it certainly puts families who earn more and less on unequal footing and just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't want to be a cheapskate so I try to give a gift but just sharing my internal feelings about it because.. I guess that's what dcum is for.

Here's my take on it. My kids attend a Title 1 School. These teachers bust their butts every day to take care of their kids. They are not only teachers but de facto parents in my ways and they pay out of pocket for so much. Because I know that most parents will be giving no presents, I go somewhat big for Christmas presents. If I knew that a lot of other parents were gifting the teachers, I wouldn't give as much. But that's how it works in Title 1 schools: the smaller percentage of parents that are able to donate/give do the lion's share. I am not looking to get my kids special treatment and its Elementary School - who cares about grades! I am just trying to give something back to the teachers who give so much and let them know that they are appreciated.

Pp here and totally hear you on this and can see this perspective. I want to be totally clear that I think teachers work harder than the vast majority of us despite what many on here say. An ex boyfriend of mine was a teacher at a title 1 school and it can’t be expressed how hard and stressful his job was. I’m just surprised there aren’t more ethical limitations around it! My kids school is not title 1 and it can feel a bit excessive. I did give a very large gift to our home daycare providers which always felt different to me. Anyway, it was just a thought and now I realize I kind of derailed the thread which isn’t helpful so apologies to op about that.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to give, then you don't have to.

I give a holiday card and $15 Target gift card to my kids' teacher or homeroom teacher. If there's a group effort that is spread across all teachers/admin/specials staff, I'll also contribute to that. For DD's preschool, it was a $25 suggested contribution. So her teacher got $15 plus whatever percentage of everyone's combined contribution.

My other kids' teachers will just get the $15 gift card because the room parents said each class would focus solely on their homeroom teacher. Oh well, I don't have the capacity to figure out everyone involved in my kids education.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that it feels like a tip to me so we don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Our public school (not NOVA) pools everything - there's a class donation pool and a good percentage of that goes to support other school staff- kitchen workers, custodial, etc. So I feel fine donating a bigger amount - finally $100 to spread across the school. We're not allowed to give cash directly to any staff (it must be pooled) and it must be anonymous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else find this gift giving to teachers so bizarre? I can't believe there aren't more limits. As a social worker we have ethical rules about this kind of thing (and it basically amounts to no gift giving or very little). This is because there are power dynamics at play. I realize teaching is different and has different boundaries, different power issues but I still find it so strange that there is an expectation to give really significant gifts. I completely agree that teachers are underpaid, but I don't think holiday gifts are somehow leveling that field. But it certainly puts families who earn more and less on unequal footing and just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't want to be a cheapskate so I try to give a gift but just sharing my internal feelings about it because.. I guess that's what dcum is for.

I agree with this. I do give gift certificates to day care teachers but I think salaried public school teachers are a different story.

Interesting....curious what the gift giving limits are for public school teachers...being county employees and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give $25 for all. I did this for our private preschool and now our public elementary. I don’t know if it matters but our preschool is a private school feeder so lots of $.

This is me too. I don't have thousands of dollars to spend on this by giving more.

[Anonymous]

I give $20 gift cards to my kid's two teachers (SPED and GenED) and one to the bus driver and bus aide. Bus driver also get Godiva chocolates because he likes them a lot and is a great guy. I've given flowers/plants to them at the end of the year too because I know they like them. Don't overthink this, just give what you can/want or nothing. It's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else find this gift giving to teachers so bizarre? I can't believe there aren't more limits. As a social worker we have ethical rules about this kind of thing (and it basically amounts to no gift giving or very little). This is because there are power dynamics at play. I realize teaching is different and has different boundaries, different power issues but I still find it so strange that there is an expectation to give really significant gifts. I completely agree that teachers are underpaid, but I don't think holiday gifts are somehow leveling that field. But it certainly puts families who earn more and less on unequal footing and just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't want to be a cheapskate so I try to give a gift but just sharing my internal feelings about it because.. I guess that's what dcum is for.

I agree with this. I do give gift certificates to day care teachers but I think salaried public school teachers are a different story.

Interesting....curious what the gift giving limits are for public school teachers...being county employees and all.

No one follows them and teachers don’t say no..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our public school (not NOVA) pools everything - there's a class donation pool and a good percentage of that goes to support other school staff- kitchen workers, custodial, etc. So I feel fine donating a bigger amount - finally $100 to spread across the school. We're not allowed to give cash directly to any staff (it must be pooled) and it must be anonymous.

I like this approach better.

I would actually give more in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I'm doing. Also title 1 and a private preK (which is really daycare + preschool)

Daycare PreK- $75 each. There are 3 teachers
1st grade- $25. $20 is actually the limit from the school board, but I think $25 will pass.

No NOVA School Boards have limits on gift card amounts to teachers. What are you talking about?

Not school boards, but counties do have limits. I know Arlington and Loudoun have $20 limits. I've heard others do too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our public school (not NOVA) pools everything - there's a class donation pool and a good percentage of that goes to support other school staff- kitchen workers, custodial, etc. So I feel fine donating a bigger amount - finally $100 to spread across the school. We're not allowed to give cash directly to any staff (it must be pooled) and it must be anonymous.

I like this approach better.

I would actually give more in this situation.

Ooh! I really like that too! I wish my work would do this too with security guards and cleaning staff. Giving $5 each to them feels too chintzy to do it, but there's like 10 of them. $50 to a pool would be nice though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our public school (not NOVA) pools everything - there's a class donation pool and a good percentage of that goes to support other school staff- kitchen workers, custodial, etc. So I feel fine donating a bigger amount - finally $100 to spread across the school. We're not allowed to give cash directly to any staff (it must be pooled) and it must be anonymous.

I like this approach better.

I would actually give more in this situation.

PP whose school does this -- ours is fully organized via class parents - communicated through PTA emails to all families but the "local" mechanics are handled by the class parents. We've always done via venmo. So seems like it should be something any school could take on, if there's interest.

I'm fairly certain I've read that there's a max allowable to gift for the head teacher, so everything above that (and a minimum $50 or 10% or something, if total contributions are under the max allowed) must be given to broader school staff. We're a pretty well off school so I have to assume that hundreds of dollars are going outside the class, and maybe $200 or something is what the head teacher keeps (with some other amount going to aides in the class, assistant teachers, etc)