Applying out without burning bridges at current school

[Anonymous]

I guess I’m the outlier in that I see no reason not to apply. They’re not going to punish your child at the current school, and switching earlier seems better not only for admissions but to get settled in a new social group while very young. Just submit the application, if you get in great. If not, current school shouldn’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he an only child?
How many spots does Grade 1 have at your coveted school? Is there a better intake year for 3 or 4?
Is there a religious reason to change? More XYZ, which you are, at the coveted school?

For this age it seems odd unless a strict family philosophy or religious or racial fit is desired. Or logistics /location.

Do you feel that only children have less of a chance of getting in to other schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the outlier in that I see no reason not to apply. They’re not going to punish your child at the current school, and switching earlier seems better not only for admissions but to get settled in a new social group while very young. Just submit the application, if you get in great. If not, current school shouldn’t care.

No, you are not and you’re absolutely right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he an only child?
How many spots does Grade 1 have at your coveted school? Is there a better intake year for 3 or 4?
Is there a religious reason to change? More XYZ, which you are, at the coveted school?

For this age it seems odd unless a strict family philosophy or religious or racial fit is desired. Or logistics /location.

Do you feel that only children have less of a chance of getting in to other schools?

No but if you have younger children applying out might burn a bridge for them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the outlier in that I see no reason not to apply. They’re not going to punish your child at the current school, and switching earlier seems better not only for admissions but to get settled in a new social group while very young. Just submit the application, if you get in great. If not, current school shouldn’t care.

Part of the admissions edge when applying out from one private to another is the personalized advocacy that the head or division head of the current school (and teachers) will be able to provide through recommendation letters, etc.

By applying out in the first year, OP's kid and family will have a very limited track record at the current school. So while I agree that they won't "punish," their recommendation to the coveted school would likely be much stronger and detailed if OP's kid is firmly established as a stellar and kind student, if their family is known for years to have donated/volunteered well, and so forth. Any letter this year will almost certainly be perfunctory at best and not enhance admissions odds at all.

[Anonymous]

Does a student normally get this admissions edge when applying out early, even if the school knows them well?

I understand that a kindergartner applying out from a K-8 doesn't get that admissions edge, but would a third grader that is well known by the school and the administraton?

I assumed the admissions edge comes at the end. So a school goes all in for third graders in a K-3, or all in for eighth graders at a K-8. But does a K-8 school usually go all in for a third grader applying out for fourth grade?

What is reasonable to expect in future years if you're applying out early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t think schools hold a grudge or take it personally. We are not in the area, but we had a situation where a student left my kid’s grade for another school, then came back because they didn’t like the new school as much as they thought.

These schools see kids come and go over the years, and it’s not as personal for them as it is for you. I would think of a couple of objective areas that the other school has (not that academics are “better,” but something like you are looking for a k-12 instead of k-8 for these reasons, or maybe, Foreign language that is offered at the other place, or geographic convenience, whatever, something objective) then go in and discuss it. Stress how much you love the current school as well. Kind of a - “it’s not you; it’s me” conversation. It will be fine.

This. Be nice and vague. say how much you are happy about this year. its a "win win " whatever happens. Say that you think the k-12 model is a better fit for your family. They don't care that much to hold it against you! give to the annual fund this year. That will really make them not hold a grudge...

[Anonymous]

What are the division changes for the k-12? I’d move for the next division. Ie. if you are at Langley, you could apply to Potomac for 4th when their MS starts.

Also having your kid in a k-12 for all 13 years is a long time. Easier for you, but less of a growth experience for your child IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DS is in Kindergarten at one of the local independent schools. This was not our first-choice school but one we were excited to attend, nonetheless, after being waitlisted at our first-choice school. The admissions team at the school we were waitlisted at suggested we apply again in the future.

His current school is a wonderful place but we hope to eventually end up at that first-choice school (all the reasons it was our first-choice last year remain true today!), and we are considering applying for first grade. We have some mixed feelings because DS is doing quite well at his current school. But we think the other school would be a good fit, too, and perhaps a better fit in the long term. (Obviously, time will tell if that's right or not -- we can't know for sure because he's only 6!) The first-choice school is also a K-12 and we'd like to try to get in before admissions gets even more competitive in the later years. We also think transitioning out of DS's current school would only get harder for him as the years go by and he settles in even more and develops deeper friendships.

Still, we are hesitant to apply because:
1) we don't want to turn off the teachers or Admin at his current school, especially since it's possible he won't get in to the other school. We don't want to be seen as "that family" who doesn't actually want to be there. There's really a lot we love about the school!
2) we aren't quite sure how to talk to our DS about this process. Last year he was leaving preschool and knew he'd be attending a new school so there was nothing confusing about exploring new schools. This year, his expectation is that he'll continue at his current school. We've started to feel him out about it and he seemed a bit ambivalent about exploring a new school, but not quite sure how to explain it.

Anybody been in this situation before? How did you navigate exploring "the one that got away" without screwing things up at your current (also wonderful) school? How did you manage with the current school? How did you manage with your child?

First grade is not an admissions year generally so you are taking a risk unless it is a school I am not familiar with.

[Anonymous]

I am guessing this is Langley and poster is looking for Potomac. There are maybe 6 spots in 1st plus any attrition. I am also guessing a ton of other families are doing the same thing so I would not worry. First grade is as tough as k because everyone is doing same thing as you for a variety of schools so it will matter how your son feels about defection. Better to apply for fourth because many people do not want to switch for fourth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people prefer the school that didn't choose their kid over the school that happily accepted them and is working to educate them with great success.

This is my opinion as well. If the child is doing well, I would not want to uproot them. My opinion on getting in "early" at a desired K-12 when the child is so young that you have no idea what school might be a good fit for HS, is that you are causing your child and yourself more harm than good. Many times the parents I've met who are struggling with this choice are those who are Big 3 or bust and striving for Ivy or similar admissions results. They are upset that their child did not get into Sidwell, GDS, STA/NCS, Maret, or Potomac. If the school in question is one that is an academic pressure cooker in HS, I would never send a child there without knowing that the child had the aptitude and temperament for that kind of school. I would want a child in the school where their individual learning style and strengths were a good fit for the school. That is giving the child their best possible shot at being academically (and emotionally) successful. You do not know until you have been through a few years of ES.

Look at the 5 year matriculation list at all the "top" high schools and you will see many colleges and universities that are not desirable to the Ivy or bust crowd. I am not saying that those colleges are bad, or that it was a waste to graduate from a Big 3 school and matriculate at a less selective college. However, in my experience, when children are confident that they are competitive in an environment, they have better performance, which can then lead to better results in college acceptances, and better self esteem for the student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people prefer the school that didn't choose their kid over the school that happily accepted them and is working to educate them with great success.

This is my opinion as well. If the child is doing well, I would not want to uproot them. My opinion on getting in "early" at a desired K-12 when the child is so young that you have no idea what school might be a good fit for HS, is that you are causing your child and yourself more harm than good. Many times the parents I've met who are struggling with this choice are those who are Big 3 or bust and striving for Ivy or similar admissions results. They are upset that their child did not get into Sidwell, GDS, STA/NCS, Maret, or Potomac. If the school in question is one that is an academic pressure cooker in HS, I would never send a child there without knowing that the child had the aptitude and temperament for that kind of school. I would want a child in the school where their individual learning style and strengths were a good fit for the school. That is giving the child their best possible shot at being academically (and emotionally) successful. You do not know until you have been through a few years of ES.

Look at the 5 year matriculation list at all the "top" high schools and you will see many colleges and universities that are not desirable to the Ivy or bust crowd. I am not saying that those colleges are bad, or that it was a waste to graduate from a Big 3 school and matriculate at a less selective college. However, in my experience, when children are confident that they are competitive in an environment, they have better performance, which can then lead to better results in college acceptances, and better self esteem for the student.

I agree. I'm always baffled by the school that says "apply again next year." Look, if you wanted my kid to attend, you'd have accepted them.

[Anonymous]

Why is it so baffling? There are only so many spots available for non-legacies/siblings/staff. It's not uncommon at all for kids at so-called Big 3s to be admitted on the second try. We didn't apply the next year, but our kid eventually got in after doing well at the prior school.