Is this bad coaching?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. My son is two years older, and on his team, if you make the same general type of mistake more than once in a game, you get pulled off. So I don't think it is unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Travel or rec? If rec, I'd look for another rec team, because the point is supposed to be to have fun. If travel, I would not be upset at all, because the point is supposed to be for the travel team to be competitive. If someone is making mistakes, and preventing that from occurring, they should be pulled off for the time being.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say. If he got benched, then that was a coaching decision. If he was asked, “Do you want to be benched?” in the way I might say, “Do want me to pull this car over?” to my kids, that is not a coaching decision.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get how this is such a big deal. Unpleasant? Embarrassing? Sure. I guess the question I have is: if your son heard the same comment and didn’t cry later, would you be upset? Is the comment upsetting you or your son’s reaction to it?

[Anonymous]

Did he actually bench him or was it a rhetorical question?

One of my kids thrived with coaches like this. Yes, even at 11. The other didn’t like this style and wouldn’t want to play again for this team if this was yelled repeatedly.

If it was said once for an actual mistake then I don’t think it’s a big deal in 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say. If he got benched, then that was a coaching decision. If he was asked, “Do you want to be benched?” in the way I might say, “Do want me to pull this car over?” to my kids, that is not a coaching decision.

Personally, I would prefer that my child get a warning not to make a mistake again vs. immediately being pulled off to sit on the bench. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Hard to say. If he got benched, then that was a coaching decision. If he was asked, “Do you want to be benched?” in the way I might say, “Do want me to pull this car over?” to my kids, that is not a coaching decision.

Personally, I would prefer that my child get a warning not to make a mistake again vs. immediately being pulled off to sit on the bench. YMMV.

Why? Kids have to play, make mistakes, try different and new things. This is the problems with club sports. The kids are playing not to make a mistake. How do you develop if you are just worried about making a mistake? This is what you have at club sports from u9-u17 do not make a mistake or you will be benched. No one grows as a player.

[Anonymous]

At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

Just to be clear - that’s stupid. It is also a fairly common thought from someone who has no clue about coaching youth. Thankfully, in most sports, you ditch those types at about 11. Ideally, you don’t have to deal with them at all. But, they end up hanging around until people realize: “yeah that guy is stupid.”

Kids (and adults) learn at different paces, and they are bound by their then existing physical abilities. Some kids learn quicker. Some kids are physically superior, some kids are both. Many are not. Yelling at a kid threatening negative action for failure to achieve some physical goal is ridiculous. If a kid is not paying attention, or appears to not be putting forth effort - encourage on the field of play if needed (“John I need you working hard out there.” “John, keep your positioning.” Or, more often, a quick discussion on the sideline. Guess what? Not every kid is at their best every day. Every coach knows that. But, along the same lines, — no youth coach has any particular understanding of a kid on a team. So they (if they have any sense at all) stay strictly with general motivational techniques and language.

Eventually - those kids who continue to progress are self-motivated to do the work necessary to achieve on-going improvements. None of that is done by yelling at a kid. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

Just to be clear - that’s stupid. It is also a fairly common thought from someone who has no clue about coaching youth. Thankfully, in most sports, you ditch those types at about 11. Ideally, you don’t have to deal with them at all. But, they end up hanging around until people realize: “yeah that guy is stupid.”

Kids (and adults) learn at different paces, and they are bound by their then existing physical abilities. Some kids learn quicker. Some kids are physically superior, some kids are both. Many are not. Yelling at a kid threatening negative action for failure to achieve some physical goal is ridiculous. If a kid is not paying attention, or appears to not be putting forth effort - encourage on the field of play if needed (“John I need you working hard out there.” “John, keep your positioning.” Or, more often, a quick discussion on the sideline. Guess what? Not every kid is at their best every day. Every coach knows that. But, along the same lines, — no youth coach has any particular understanding of a kid on a team. So they (if they have any sense at all) stay strictly with general motivational techniques and language.

Eventually - those kids who continue to progress are self-motivated to do the work necessary to achieve on-going improvements. None of that is done by yelling at a kid. Ever.

You’d think that—except for a specific personality type, and I’m thinking it’s the kid who’s slacking and knows it—yelling might not be the most effective tool in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

Just to be clear - that’s stupid. It is also a fairly common thought from someone who has no clue about coaching youth. Thankfully, in most sports, you ditch those types at about 11. Ideally, you don’t have to deal with them at all. But, they end up hanging around until people realize: “yeah that guy is stupid.”

Kids (and adults) learn at different paces, and they are bound by their then existing physical abilities. Some kids learn quicker. Some kids are physically superior, some kids are both. Many are not. Yelling at a kid threatening negative action for failure to achieve some physical goal is ridiculous. If a kid is not paying attention, or appears to not be putting forth effort - encourage on the field of play if needed (“John I need you working hard out there.” “John, keep your positioning.” Or, more often, a quick discussion on the sideline. Guess what? Not every kid is at their best every day. Every coach knows that. But, along the same lines, — no youth coach has any particular understanding of a kid on a team. So they (if they have any sense at all) stay strictly with general motivational techniques and language.

Eventually - those kids who continue to progress are self-motivated to do the work necessary to achieve on-going improvements. None of that is done by yelling at a kid. Ever.

Coach didn’t yell. He said this. It’s fine and it was accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

Just to be clear - that’s stupid. It is also a fairly common thought from someone who has no clue about coaching youth. Thankfully, in most sports, you ditch those types at about 11. Ideally, you don’t have to deal with them at all. But, they end up hanging around until people realize: “yeah that guy is stupid.”

Kids (and adults) learn at different paces, and they are bound by their then existing physical abilities. Some kids learn quicker. Some kids are physically superior, some kids are both. Many are not. Yelling at a kid threatening negative action for failure to achieve some physical goal is ridiculous. If a kid is not paying attention, or appears to not be putting forth effort - encourage on the field of play if needed (“John I need you working hard out there.” “John, keep your positioning.” Or, more often, a quick discussion on the sideline. Guess what? Not every kid is at their best every day. Every coach knows that. But, along the same lines, — no youth coach has any particular understanding of a kid on a team. So they (if they have any sense at all) stay strictly with general motivational techniques and language.

Eventually - those kids who continue to progress are self-motivated to do the work necessary to achieve on-going improvements. None of that is done by yelling at a kid. Ever.

Riiiighhttt.. Let's just give everyone orange slices and juice boxes and they are all winners!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

Just to be clear - that’s stupid. It is also a fairly common thought from someone who has no clue about coaching youth. Thankfully, in most sports, you ditch those types at about 11. Ideally, you don’t have to deal with them at all. But, they end up hanging around until people realize: “yeah that guy is stupid.”

Kids (and adults) learn at different paces, and they are bound by their then existing physical abilities. Some kids learn quicker. Some kids are physically superior, some kids are both. Many are not. Yelling at a kid threatening negative action for failure to achieve some physical goal is ridiculous. If a kid is not paying attention, or appears to not be putting forth effort - encourage on the field of play if needed (“John I need you working hard out there.” “John, keep your positioning.” Or, more often, a quick discussion on the sideline. Guess what? Not every kid is at their best every day. Every coach knows that. But, along the same lines, — no youth coach has any particular understanding of a kid on a team. So they (if they have any sense at all) stay strictly with general motivational techniques and language.

Eventually - those kids who continue to progress are self-motivated to do the work necessary to achieve on-going improvements. None of that is done by yelling at a kid. Ever.

Coach didn’t yell. He said this. It’s fine and it was accurate.

OP, was trying to present this as neutrally as possible but yeah, it was yelled.

IMHO, telling an 11yo off the field that if they want to start, they need to do X consistently is the point, and 100% appropriate.

Yelling "Do you want to come off?" in the moment (according to DC), maybe not so much.

Several families chose to switch clubs rather than have their kids play under this coach, so I'm wondering if they were onto something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s not bad coaching. A good coach makes substitutions when a player isn’t helping the team, especially when the team needs help

Depends on the level of play. If rec/developmental, more leeway should be given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 11YO for a travel team? The Coach is right. You earn your playing time and if you miss a pass, you get benched.

Just to be clear - that’s stupid. It is also a fairly common thought from someone who has no clue about coaching youth. Thankfully, in most sports, you ditch those types at about 11. Ideally, you don’t have to deal with them at all. But, they end up hanging around until people realize: “yeah that guy is stupid.”

Kids (and adults) learn at different paces, and they are bound by their then existing physical abilities. Some kids learn quicker. Some kids are physically superior, some kids are both. Many are not. Yelling at a kid threatening negative action for failure to achieve some physical goal is ridiculous. If a kid is not paying attention, or appears to not be putting forth effort - encourage on the field of play if needed (“John I need you working hard out there.” “John, keep your positioning.” Or, more often, a quick discussion on the sideline. Guess what? Not every kid is at their best every day. Every coach knows that. But, along the same lines, — no youth coach has any particular understanding of a kid on a team. So they (if they have any sense at all) stay strictly with general motivational techniques and language.

Eventually - those kids who continue to progress are self-motivated to do the work necessary to achieve on-going improvements. None of that is done by yelling at a kid. Ever.

Coach didn’t yell. He said this. It’s fine and it was accurate.

OP, was trying to present this as neutrally as possible but yeah, it was yelled.

IMHO, telling an 11yo off the field that if they want to start, they need to do X consistently is the point, and 100% appropriate.

Yelling "Do you want to come off?" in the moment (according to DC), maybe not so much.

Several families chose to switch clubs rather than have their kids play under this coach, so I'm wondering if they were onto something.

Your kid has a choice to make. Do what he's expected or he can always play rec league, where it's more development focused.