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Any "boat-rockers" at your private school?
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Anonymous
| I really hope you aren't talking about assigned seating at lunch. You aren't are you, OP? |
Anonymous
|
Make a big donation. Then you'll get whatever you want.
Sad, but true... |
Anonymous
| Make a big donation. True that. Buy the door to the building before your kid is admitted = tacky. Buy the building = Wow you're a great parent. |
Anonymous
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OP,
I think you have power/control issues. |
Anonymous
| I generally agree with the above comments about diplomacy and doing your own research. Sometimes, schools have good reasons for doing what they do. Some historical reason. Other times, they do not. My overall impression is that private schools could use more criticism rather than less. Our Big 3 is terrific but there is definitely a culture of getting along for its own sake. Private schools face many issues, including trying to be everything to everybody, to above inflation tuition increases for 20 years, to the debatable need to extend the school year, to learning how to deal with active boys, etc., etc. And I am sure others have issues they would like addressed. So, I generally favor more speaking out rather than less. |
Anonymous
When I see "learning how to deal with active boys" it translates to me: 'School thinks my little man is a disciplinary problem, perhaps even a bully, but I know he is just an active boy who is being mis- handled!". Could be wrong, but that's how it reads to me . . .and it also sounds like PP likes to weigh in on quite a bit . . . |
Anonymous
|
PP-
Great point. The problem with young boys is not about young boys at all, but about how schools are ill-equipped to handle the needs of boys. This is what happens when you have the dearth of men in education, particularly early childhood and elementary education, that we see today. This, among other factors, have made classrooms for our youngest learners unnatural places for most young boys, who are disproportionately and unfairly labeled with learning, behavior, emotional, social, and/or physical issues that can lead to long-term negative impacts on their growth and development. This is in no way meant to ignore the hurdles girls and young women face, both in and out of school, but simply to point out a new and troubling trend that is emerging. I say this as a male teacher of young children. |
Anonymous
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As a teacher, I can say this is a really tricky situation. At times, we have over-privileged parents raise a huge stink because they simply don't like something or because things didn't break their way. At other times, groups of parents raise a legitimate issue that is otherwise being ignored and are basically told to shut-up and go along with it. So, it's really hard to speak generally here.
What I will say is, trust your gut and don't be afraid to ask questions. If you see something you think of as an injustice (such as the boy issue mentioned above), I would absolutely hope parents, or anyone else, would stand up and say something. If it's more a matter of simply preferring something to be done a different way, do your homework first and figure out why it's done the way it is. Perhaps there is good reason, perhaps it's entropy. Try to find out more before acting. If something is wrong, it's wrong, and I wouldn't criticize any reasonable attempt to right it. If it's a matter of differing opinions, attempt to understand the other perspective first and weigh that against your own before proposing solutions. Perhaps there are things the school is taking into account that you aren't aware of. At the same time, any well-run school would welcome parent feedback, since there are often times that parents are considering things that we don't think of. Ideally, there would be appropriate forums/avenues (plural, since not every type works for every individual) to gain information and provide feedback, so that parents aren't left flapping in the wind. I say this as a teacher who is not a parent who also advises parents outside of schools about negotiating the private school landscape. I often check in with teachers who are parents before making teacher decisions that might not account for the needs or perspectives of teachers; and I encourage my clients to check in with me before talking with a teacher to see if there are things they need to be more aware. More dialogue is always better. And schools should make every effort possible to foster healthy dialogue. If they don't do that, I can't fault parents for finding their own ways to express their concerns, needs, feelings, etc. |
Anonymous
Many of the elite private schools are simply incapable of handling even the most moderate of active boys. First, these schools are in the position to filter out active boys through the admision process, so they do. One need only spend a day in one of the better public elementary schools to see the difference. Our first hand experience in FC is that public school teachers are substantially better at dealing with boys, because they have to. It was not even close. And, no, we are not talking about bullies. Second, private elementary schools do have a hard time attracting and retaining male teachers in the younger grades. Third, I had a long conversation with one of the top child pychologists in the area (a female) who bluntly said many of these schools are run by women for little girls. Finally, I personally witnessed an AD at one of the non-Big 3 deal with her son's basketball team. It was frightening out of touch she was. |
Anonymous
| So, what IS the right way to handle "even the most moderate of active boys'? I'm sincere. What are some of the techniques that are used at these schools that know what they're doing in this regard? |
Anonymous
| DC had a male kindergarten teacher this year at WES. Wow. What a difference from last year. The teacher maintained control of all those energetic boys; all the kids had lots of fun; and they really learned everything they need for first grade. I so wish this teacher could graduate to the next grade with DC! |
Anonymous
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Regarding boys in the classroom:
First, look at the curriculum. How much seat/desk work is required at the K level? Second, look at opportunities for movement. How often do the kids get to move around? And I don't just mean on the playground, which is certainly important, but do they have opportunities to move about the classroom? Are elements of the "boyness" of these little guys valued or seen as hindrances to the teacher's agenda? Are enthusiasm, noise, rambunctiousness, moderate impulsivity, etc. recognized as normal or demonized? Are a variety of learning styles and modalities accepted/encouraged? Is the curriculum relevant or teacher-directed/centered? Now, I realize we are in the realm of gross generalizations. And many of these tips are just good general practice. But the fact is, in general, young boys and girls learn quite differently. And this is okay. We shouldn't be afraid of this. Acknowledging it as a developmental reality, the question is, what do we do about it? Hopefully what I've laid out here is a start, though there is clearly a lot more to talk about. FWIW, I'm a male pre-K teacher who has taught in classrooms with 2:1 gender ratios that were both boy and girl heavy. |
Anonymous
| FYI- I'm the PP. I was also the poster a few posts back who posted about boys AND dialoguing with schools. Happy to talk more about this if people are interested. Also aware I am but one voice in the conversation and am curious to hear other perspectives. |
Anonymous
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Many of the elite private schools are simply incapable of handling even the most moderate of active boys. First, these schools are in the position to filter out active boys through the admision process, so they do. One need only spend a day in one of the better public elementary schools to see the difference. Our first hand experience in FC is that public school teachers are substantially better at dealing with boys, because they have to. It was not even close. And, no, we are not talking about bullies. Second, private elementary schools do have a hard time attracting and retaining male teachers in the younger grades. Third, I had a long conversation with one of the top child pychologists in the area (a female) who bluntly said many of these schools are run by women for little girls. Finally, I personally witnessed an AD at one of the non-Big 3 deal with her son's basketball team. It was frightening out of touch she was. You sound like you buy into stereotypes in a big way--"women can't teach boys.". I still think parents who go on about their "active boys" in the context of criticizing schools often don't apply discipline and don't think anyone else should. |
Anonymous
I am a female teacher in elementary and love seeing male teachers in elementary. Thank you. However, I feel I connect especially to the boys I teach (active boys among them!). I have my own boy at home and have shuddered through some of the practices I've seen inflicted on him. I agree educational institutions have trended towards a 'female' orientation-whatever that is- which I think mostly has to do with ease of classroom and institutional management. However, the male and female students I teach would not put up with such a limited approach for long! If you keep up with basic research, you can address the male, female and all the 'cross brains' in between. Even more than basic research, common sense about creating a safe environment where kids can be individuals, grown up learning from their mistakes, develop responsibility, make decisions, and not be lockstep robots in the class. Creating learning structures that allow for responsible (and wonderful) movement and interaction, letting children 'follow their interests' in reading and writing etc. I am not sure you have to be a 'male teacher' to get this. Perhaps an educator or an administrator who wants to encourage both girls and boys to develop their voices and put their best (and often active) foot forward? |