Does weight loss have to be miserable?

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't be eating "diet foods" OP. You should increase your fat and protein consumption, decrease your carb consumption and remove all alcohol. Your cravings will disappear pretty quickly, and all without having to eat "diet foods" And you won't feel deprived or tortured.

[Anonymous]

In my experience - you don't have to be miserable but you do need to feel a little bit hungry. That's how I know when I am in a calorie deficit. I can feel it. The trick is finding that sweet spot where you are eating just enough to be satiated while feeling like you could eat a little more (but don't).

A lot of it is definitely mental. We naturally want to reach for food for comfort, boredom, etc. You have to find ways to distract yourself.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. I’m down 12 pounds in about a month and a half based on strict, consistent calorie tracking (I weigh and log everything that goes in my mouth). I felt hungry for the first week, and now don’t.

There’s been research that shows that people are shockingly bad at estimating portions. Unless I weight what I’m eating, I will unconsciously eat more even though I think I’m eating less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starting to get more serious about trying to lose 20+ pounds and it just seems so daunting and depressing. I've already given up drinking, something I used to enjoy, with no impact on my weight. I have been cutting down on the size and frequency of my meals to the point that I'm hungry most of the time (no results after about 2 months of this either), and now I'm looking more closely at noom and other actual diet food recommendations and it just seems depressing that they seem to suggest that I not only have to be hungry all the time but also eat unenjoyable food. Is being miserable just the trade off for losing weight? I know they say the most successful weight loss is when you don't feel like you're depriving yourself but I'm at the point where it seems I need extreme deprivation if I want to see any results.

You can let go of this because there’s no such thing as successful weight loss. They haven’t figured out how to do that.

I have to go full monk to lose weight. No going out, no exciting/hard work projects. It takes up 80% of my capacity.

NP - same here. I have to basically give up my social life to be successful at losing weight. I don't have any issue abstaining from alcohol when I am at home, I don't even think about it. But when I go out, any attempts at moderation usually go out the window. And along with that usually comes eating more calories than usual. And if I drink too much, I usually feel like crap the next day, don't feel like working out, and only want to eat more junk food. Its a vicious cycle. I know what it takes to get out of it and I've done it before, I just don't feel that motivated. I am still fit and in good shape even with the 5-10 lbs I'd love to lose. And I am not willing to give up my social life for months at a time. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

It does not need to be miserable, OP, but it does need to be strategic and you need to be doing the right things.

I was successful with Noon and have kept the weight off for 5 years. I did not feel like the techniques or meal plans were miserable at all, but I did have to completely rethink my relationship with food, snacking, and when and where I was eating. Turns out I had some really bad habits that I did not see... once I switched to better habits, I started losing weight really quickly. I also found an exercise program that I really *like* so I actually look forward to doing - and that has allowed me to build muscle and keep myself thin and fit for the last 5 years.

I could not have done it by myself. I was eating a fairly healthy diet and thought I was doing really well. But I needed professional, outside analysis to make real change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does not need to be miserable, OP, but it does need to be strategic and you need to be doing the right things.

I was successful with Noon and have kept the weight off for 5 years. I did not feel like the techniques or meal plans were miserable at all, but I did have to completely rethink my relationship with food, snacking, and when and where I was eating. Turns out I had some really bad habits that I did not see... once I switched to better habits, I started losing weight really quickly. I also found an exercise program that I really *like* so I actually look forward to doing - and that has allowed me to build muscle and keep myself thin and fit for the last 5 years.

I could not have done it by myself. I was eating a fairly healthy diet and thought I was doing really well. But I needed professional, outside analysis to make real change.

This is interesting. What were some of the bad habits and switches you made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't have to be miserable. Good habits beget more good habits (and vice versa). I think the biggest favor you can do for yourself is to take it slow, manage your expectations, be optimistic, and be kind to yourself. Weight loss isn't easy for everyone! (My body holds onto weight much more easily than I can lose it.)

The biggest thing for me, historically, when it comes to losing or maintaining weight is finding exercise *I enjoy.* I would try running or weightlifting but they just weren't for me: I've always had a much better time getting into my groove with gentler modalities such as dance, yoga, and walking. If you like it, you will do it.

I would encourage you also to not think of foods as being "good" or "bad." It is helpful for me to observe how foods make me feel and function rather than putting them in these buckets. Limiting portion sizes and, yes, sometimes eliminating certain food groups can be very helpful.

Slow and steady wins the race

I want to echo some of this -- the part about finding things that you enjoy -- and apply it to the diet part. I have lost over 95 pounds in the last 18 months and went from a BMI of over 40 to 25. I'm still going and while it has been challenging at times, and there have certainly been times (especially at the beginning) when I felt really hungry, the majority of the time it has just felt like normal, and kind of like another job. For me, a key was that I needed to focus my diet mostly on protein and vegetables and go very low on carbs, and within that most importantly was to focus on eating foods that I really loved. So that when I was eating, I was really enjoying the food and felt fulfilled by it, and I wasn't secretly desiring some other food. That doesn't mean I ate junk foods -- I didn't eat those at all, but I ate a lot of fish that I love, and made a cauliflower mash that I really enjoyed, and used spices and flavorings that I liked. And every week I'd fit in a chips and a homemade hamburger -- I guess that was my one concession to junk food. After a few months I also cut down the number of meals I had each day from 3 to 2 -- I would either eat lunch or a late breakfast, but not both. I think this is basically intermittent fasting, except I'd always have a latte in the morning. Dinner is my biggest meal of the day and I always feel full afterwards.

I didn't do a lot of exercising until after I had lost 70 or 80 pounds, and even then it's just all been walking not weights or anything, so most of my weight loss was accomplished through diet.

The hardest parts for me have been occasionally hitting plateaus and feeling like nothing I was doing would get me below a certain number AND coming off of holidays or special events when I had indulged and then needed to get back in the groove. For the first, sometimes I would eat some extra and then on my way back down the scale wouldn't get stuck on the same number, though more often than not I would just white knuckle it through the plateau until the scale went down. For the holiday/special event thing, by Month 3 or so I just had to look at my weight recordings and see myself trending in the right direction for the stamina to keep it up. I also sometimes recited my starting weight down to my goal weight for the internal reassurance that I could get from the one place to another, it was doable, you just had to keep going/counting.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does not need to be miserable, OP, but it does need to be strategic and you need to be doing the right things.

I was successful with Noon and have kept the weight off for 5 years. I did not feel like the techniques or meal plans were miserable at all, but I did have to completely rethink my relationship with food, snacking, and when and where I was eating. Turns out I had some really bad habits that I did not see... once I switched to better habits, I started losing weight really quickly. I also found an exercise program that I really *like* so I actually look forward to doing - and that has allowed me to build muscle and keep myself thin and fit for the last 5 years.

I could not have done it by myself. I was eating a fairly healthy diet and thought I was doing really well. But I needed professional, outside analysis to make real change.

This is interesting. What were some of the bad habits and switches you made?

1. I am not hungry in the morning, so I wasn’t eating breakfast. Then I’d be starving by lunchtime and make bad food decisions. Like maybe I’d eat the healthy lunch I packed, but I’d also grab a bag of chips from the cafeteria or graze the office candy bowl all afternoon. And those bad food decisions carried through the rest of the day. So I started having two really small breakfasts - a green smoothie first thing and then a piece of whole wheat toast with avocado or a hard boiled egg or some oatmeal with fresh blueberries. That got me a balanced, nutritious start up each day without feeling like I had eaten a heavy meal. And those healthy decisions stayed with me throughout the day.

2. I realized I have a long time comfort-driven habit of eating while I read. I love to read, and I love to mindlessly crunch a snack while doing it. That adds up to a ton of mindless calories of really processed food that I was not even counting. So now I am mindful that that’s a habit and I’ve mostly broken it. Now, if I really, really want a snack while I read, I’ll have some raw vegetables or plain popcorn.

3. I cut out almost all processed foods. It is so easy to grab and go, but I found I do much better when I plan ahead and make things from scratch - so home baked bread and muffins each week instead of a granola bar or chips. Old fashioned oatmeal with a variety of toppings instead of boxed cereal. Meals cooked from scratch every night - switched to a mostly veg, mostly local diet - with plenty of leftovers to eat for lunch. I make a big pot of soup each week that I can top with wilted greens and eat with fresh bread.

4. I started tracking my water consumption. I wasn’t getting enough, and was feeling lethargic, cranky, and headachy as a result. And reaching for another sweetened coffee or a soda. So now I track my water and I drink at least 100 ounces a day. Makes a HUGE difference in how I feel, how I sleep, how my skin looks… and I’m not nearly as hungry.

5. I seriously reduced my alcohol consumption. This one has been really hard - I love wine - and it is more recent than the other habit changes. But as I get older, wine does not love me. I still drink 1-3 times a week, but just one glass (rarely two) and I *feel* it. I don’t sleep well, I feel awful, I make poor food decisions, I skip workouts… so while in my 30s I was okay holding a little extra weight if I could still drink whatever I wanted, in my 40s it’s just not worth it. And my body approves.

Like I said, none of these things are easy. But they aren’t miserable. It’s just a matter of taking a REALLY HARD look at your entire lifestyle and seeing what isn’t serving you.

[Anonymous]

My recommendations:

Start with a goal of 10 percent of your body weight. So, don't have a goal of 20 pounds unless you weigh 200 pounds or more. 10 per cent is enough to make a major change in how you feel, but it's feasible for most people. It's just like breaking some huge job into smaller, doable tasks. You can always lose more later, but in the beginning, just tell yourself you're going to lose 10 per cent.

Aim for an average weight loss of one percent of body weight. So, how much you lose goes down with your weight. If you are 150 pounds, you can aim for 1.5 pounds. when you get that down to 140, you'll be losing more like 1.4 pounds. You won't get as exasperated when you start losing less if you realize this.

Drink something hot like tea or broth--broth is better--about 30 to 45 minutes before your main meal. You'll fell less hungry.

If you find yourself feeling hungry, eat smaller amounts more often. Do not eat more in total. Protein snacks help. For me, it's almonds. The individual packs are about 200 calories, which helps with portion control.

HITT does work a little bit. You have to eat less to lose weight--at least that's my experience--but HITT does seem to boost my metabolism.

Buy a smart scale and weigh yourself every day. I know lots of programs say not to do this, but it works for me. I figure out my patterns. I almost always gain a small amount of weight over a weekend, so I don't get upset when I do, but I cut back a bit more on Monday-Wednesday. Plus, a smart scale will give you an idea of how your body composition is changing, which is a mood enhancer when your weight loss slows. Remember that muscles weigh more than fat.

Take your measurements before you begin. Take them about once every two weeks after that.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Oops! That should be aim for a weight loss of one percent per week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your goal? Are you trying to be skinny and fierce or are you just trying to get to a healthy BMI.

If you are not naturally skinny and fierce it is miserable to get that way. As others have said, to get to a healthy BMI, you can likely do this with some change in habits and not too much hunger.

OP here: I just want to get to a normal/healthy BMI (I'm not naturally thin). I'm 5'5 and have been fluctuating between 170 and 165 but can never seem to get below that (since quitting smoking and having a baby, who is now nearly 2 years old). I feel like I've already done the basic habit changes (ie cutting out alcohol, snacks and junk food, smaller portion sizes) and was just feeling down this morning looking at some of what I consider to be more extreme things I might have to do to actually lose the weight. The other PP's comment on noom was encouraging. I can see myself getting into the stats aspect of it. It was just daunting when I entered my food that most was in the red and yellow category - I thought I was OK eating the "bad food" (ie breads/pasta, butter), but just in small quantities, but apparently not.

Try not to think of food as good or bad. Eat half of the bad and more of the good. Change takes time. Get at least 150 minutes of exercise a week. Drink more water. You maybe miserable going through it but being heavier is a different kind of miserable.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If you can force yourself to eat piles of healthy vegetables and lots of salad and some fruit, in addition to some lean protein and just a few carbs, you can manage your physical hunger by eating a lot of that low cal stuff.

Once you manage your physical hunger then the only obstacle is your head and managing your cravings.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but this is a great thread. Thanks so much, all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your goal? Are you trying to be skinny and fierce or are you just trying to get to a healthy BMI.

If you are not naturally skinny and fierce it is miserable to get that way. As others have said, to get to a healthy BMI, you can likely do this with some change in habits and not too much hunger.

OP here: I just want to get to a normal/healthy BMI (I'm not naturally thin). I'm 5'5 and have been fluctuating between 170 and 165 but can never seem to get below that (since quitting smoking and having a baby, who is now nearly 2 years old). I feel like I've already done the basic habit changes (ie cutting out alcohol, snacks and junk food, smaller portion sizes) and was just feeling down this morning looking at some of what I consider to be more extreme things I might have to do to actually lose the weight. The other PP's comment on noom was encouraging. I can see myself getting into the stats aspect of it. It was just daunting when I entered my food that most was in the red and yellow category - I thought I was OK eating the "bad food" (ie breads/pasta, butter), but just in small quantities, but apparently not.

I got the Noom app - it's called "BetterMe" - I don't even see where you can enter your food?? Can anyone advise?

[Anonymous]

I lost 30 lbs and have kept it off over a year. I'm not sure if I'd say miserable, but it's always been emotionally complex and exhausting to me - lots of self doubt, questioning of motivation etc.

The Beck Diet Book was really helpful - uses CBT to cut through all of that. The podcast Weightloss for Busy Physicians is very helpful and builds on these principles.

Good luck