Totally tacky.

[Anonymous]

I agree w/you OP that that was a tacky move by your Nanny.

Considering how accommodating you have been to let her bring another child into your home….
She is showing how greedy she is in general.

I would have been deeply offended by her text too.

It is entirely up to you if you want to keep her on - I personally would feel resentful of what she did & that resentment could possibly grow….

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Nanny of 20 years here and agree that this is very tacky and unprofessional behavior. I would never make a mistake like that. I can see why you wouldn't want to give her a Holiday bonus now and what's up with taking off 1-2 days a week? Many families wouldn't put up with that. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I agree it was unprofessional of her to thank them in a group text.

[Anonymous]

I've never heard of a Thanksgiving Bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny asked us if she could watch another child 1 to 2 days a week - she cut our rate by just a few dollars per hour but is definitely making some good cash from the other family, which we applaud her for. The other kid is great in general, so we don't really mind. The other family however is not paying taxes, not paying sick leave, nor are they paying for holidays, etc.. They have their kid in daycare part time and the kid will be starting full time in a couple of months. And they are lovely, don't get me wrong.

What I'm annoyed about is that the other family must have given her a Thanksgiving bonus of some sort. Our nanny replied all in the group text we have with the other family, thanking them for their generosity, making it pretty obvious that we didn't give her a Thanksgiving bonus (although we offered numerous times for her to leave early this past week so that she could help her family out with their Thanksgiving plans).

I actually am feeling such less respect for the nanny. She definitely knew it was the group chat with the way she worded her thank you (so not a mistake). And I feel like it was completely thoughtless and tacky. My husband and I were both so shocked when we received the text. And a big part of that is feeling unappreciated by the nanny for letting her bring this other child into my home, with truly little benefit to us. On top of that she has taken 1 to 2 days off per week for the past 6 weeks due to sick leave and vacation (which was planned), so we've been scrambling to work and provide childcare while paying her full time, and so again, I feel unappreciated.




You’re passive aggressive and resentful individual. Some Nannies do get a small bonus for thanksgiving in addition to flowers(a great bonus during the Christmas time/end of year. You need to work with a therapist to get over this ‘low-self-esteem’ issues. And if you’re not longer respect your nanny, part ways civilly.

I also don't believe Thanksgiving bonuses are a thing and I refuse to make them one. I get the Holiday bonus and was planning on giving it to her earlier in December so she could spend it on holiday gifts, but I'm feeling pretty annoyed right now and I feel frustrated that the nanny has now injected even more drama into our lives and feeling just done with it.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Anonymous]

Totally tacky. Just curious, did her 1-2 days off per week ever fall on the “share” days or only on your days since you guarantee the sick leave and vacation?

[Anonymous]

^ And no, Thanksgiving bonuses are not a thing. I gave my nanny Wed and Fri off as a freebie without having it count against her vacation. She was extremely happy with that.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Tacky. Sounds like you’re happy with her otherwise so try to see it as a minor annoyance and don’t let it bother you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it was unprofessional of her to thank them in a group text.

I agree that it was unprofessional, but otherwise, she seems like a good employee, and you’re OK with her helping out in the short term with this nanny share. It would be a shame for you to lose a good employee because of this.

[Anonymous]

It's petty, but don't let it bother you, since that was likely her intent. The best response is no response at all. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if she appreciates you - she is an employee, not a personal friend, and as long as she is doing a good job of watching your child, that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

You really need to be inured to little shaming tactics, OP. Just laugh! And next time she comes, say you don't believe in giving bonuses, since you're paying decent wages, providing the venue and paying taxes like an honest person. Make her see how good you're making it for her. Who cares what the other families think!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, having a kid in your house exposes you to insane liability risks. I would never have this nanny share without a reciprocal situation with the other nanny share family.

This. Mostly this.

You have proved that you cannot function without this particular nanny. You have no leverage. Personally, I would have fired her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's petty, but don't let it bother you, since that was likely her intent. The best response is no response at all. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if she appreciates you - she is an employee, not a personal friend, and as long as she is doing a good job of watching your child, that's all that matters.

You guys are all very chill.

I would have replied in the text. "So glad that you have got a bonus from a family that is not paying for the venue, your taxes, and other liabilities.
Since we are paying for all of these things, consider all of it your bonus. Also, start looking for a new job and consider this your notice. Please do not expect it to be your severance pay. "

I would never retain a resentful employee at home. Not for cleaning my house, not for mowing my lawn and certainly not for looking after my child,

[Anonymous]

I don’t think what she did was that bad . I get being a little taken aback but to fire her over a text like that seems silly . Unless of course it’s the straw that broke the camels back .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's petty, but don't let it bother you, since that was likely her intent. The best response is no response at all. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if she appreciates you - she is an employee, not a personal friend, and as long as she is doing a good job of watching your child, that's all that matters.

Yup. This is a business relationship. Act like you didn't get the implication at all ("yes that was very nice of the Moochers!" if she days anything).