Am I too loose parenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids go pretty far from me in many scenarios and can’t always see them. But if she is going up to older kids/other adults, that means she wants to play with a grownup, so it should be you.

totally disagree with this. Little kids love older kids. Mine prefers them to me. I'm standing right there and she can play with me all she wants - but she wants to play with the older kids. I hear from friends that their little kids are the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty free range with my three year old, but:
She’s always within my eyesight
If she approaches other people, I signal she’s with me with a wave
And I keep the independent interactions brief - after a minute or two, if my kid is still hanging around with the new “friends” she’s made, I go join

Sometimes if it’s a kid of a similar age and their parent I’ll just end up joining while our kids play together.

If it’s a kid and parent clearly trying to have family time, I’ll explain “they’re having special family time let’s go do x together”

If it’s teenagers or adults who don’t want to be bothered I’ll redirect pretty quickly. .

But if my kid is just wandering or collecting sticks or whatever, yes I’ll let them go as far as I can see them always eyes on - as long as they’re far enough from danger like a busy road that I could react in time.

This is the type of parenting I expect to see at the park. I’m pretty similar. My general rule is that my kid can play with kids their age or with an adult and kids their age if invited or welcomed. If not, I will redirect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try very hard not to hover with mine, and have always tried to let them explore their own boundaries. However, I always have my eye on them. A child going up to a random parent (man or woman) on a playground isn’t that off to me. A playground is a nice spot to let them exert that type of independence while you’re a safe distance away. But you’re saying it isn’t on a playground, and you’ll periodically “look around to see where she is.” That makes it seem like you don’t know where she is. Depending on the setting, that could be dangerous.

And I’m with the PPs - I don’t want to play with other kids lol. I don’t mind if they come over and chit chat for a minute or so, but if they linger too long it’s honestly annoying. And I will look to make sure a child has an adult if they’re little. It isn’t a judgy thing, just normal concern to make sure they’re with someone.

I think helicopter parenting at the playground is annoying (my DH is like this, and it certainly doesn’t help my kids), but you should have eyes on your kid.

+1 I keep eyes on but you don’t need to follow a 3 year old around. It’s not great for anyone but people will probably tell you here that you need to because the more helicopter parenting approach is pretty common here.

[Anonymous]

This sounds fine, OP. I let my 3yo wander wherever, within a large fenced playground area, as long I can still see her, and I get to have adult conversations with mom friends.

[Anonymous]

It’s a playground, I don’t see the big deal. And I agree with someone upthread that you might have to talk to little kids at a playground because they approach you. If you just want to interact with your kid and no others then play in your backyard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assume adults and older kids don't want to play with her, and redirect her. Some peope won't mind (I don't), but many will.

This. In all honesty, other parents are at the playground to get a break from playing with their own kids. They don't want to play with your kid. If you see you kid trying to engage an adult or older child in play and they don't seem interested (ie, they are looking around for the parent), go over and redirect her.