Waited to TTC due to husband and now having fertility issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is unlikely due to age alone. Most people would have had the same issues in their 20s if they have issues conceiving.

It is not a magic age thing.

This is completely against what science and reproductive endocrinologists will tell you.

[Anonymous]

4 months is nothing. You might not be the problem. Stop beating yourself.

[Anonymous]

I don't know but you sound like my friends who is a few years past where you are now and divorcing. I am sorry. 4 months is not that long, but if things don't work, it can be really hard to let go of the resentment.

[Anonymous]

Trying for four months is not "fertility" issues FFS. That is insulting to those of us who have actually struggled with infertility.

[Anonymous]

I'd be mad too. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

It took me over four months to conceive and I was 33! Try not to stress so much, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is unlikely due to age alone. Most people would have had the same issues in their 20s if they have issues conceiving.

It is not a magic age thing.

This is completely against what science and reproductive endocrinologists will tell you.

Not the newer research

[Anonymous]

Have your DH also tested to make sure he’s not shooting blanks.

[Anonymous]

Fwiw, I had premature ovarian failure and had trouble at 32 you never know. 4 months isn’t long. Just have your on run fertility bloodwork if you haven’t already. Who knows your husband could be the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We waited to TTC as husband was not ready until his 36 birthday. I am turning 36 soon and we have been TTC for 4 months. My OB said to go to a fertility specialist if not able to conceive in 2 months.

I am so angry as I wanted a baby 4 years ago. What can I even do?

What you can do is stop acting like a brat.
4 months is no time at all and we'll within normal range.
You stop being mad at your husband.
It's not productive.
For now you get as healthy as you can.
Get an ovulation kit and learn to track when you're most likely to get pregnant.
If you're not pregnant in 2 months you go to the specialist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is unlikely due to age alone. Most people would have had the same issues in their 20s if they have issues conceiving.

It is not a magic age thing.

This is completely against what science and reproductive endocrinologists will tell you.

Not the newer research

Even when I was trying to get pregnant 15 years ago something like 90% of women with fertility issues still ended up successfully carrying a pregnancy/pregnancies. Statistics are on OP's side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying for four months is not "fertility" issues FFS. That is insulting to those of us who have actually struggled with infertility.

OP has no clue.

[Anonymous]

I had a baby at 27, then took 4 months to get pregnant at 32, then took 6 months to get pregnant at 36. Agree with PPs that it’s too soon to get upset. Have you been testing very early, as in before missed period? My delay windows were caused by very early losses.

[Anonymous]

Get your appointment for fertility scheduled now. Do the pre-tests or anything you need to get started. Call your insurance and find out what referrals you need or what hope to jump through. Basically get ready to hit the ground running once you hit your 6mo of trying.

I started late because I got married late, but I had my first with IVF at 36.5 and my 2nd with no intervention the 1st month my IUD was out - delivered at 38.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We waited to TTC as husband was not ready until his 36 birthday. I am turning 36 soon and we have been TTC for 4 months. My OB said to go to a fertility specialist if not able to conceive in 2 months.

I am so angry as I wanted a baby 4 years ago. What can I even do?

I think you already know from posts here, or if not, you need to take this on board:

Four months is no time at all. Nearly 36 is no longer as huge a deal as it once was (it's not immaterial but it's also not, in and of itself, the huge deal it once was). You cannot know if you might have had issues at 25, much less 35. And you and DH have not even had any fertility tests etc. yet, so your intensity is not warranted at this point.

The real issue today is your resentment and anger toward your husband. NOT the fact you haven't gotten pregnant yet while TTC. The REAL issue is your resentment, OP. Another PP above noted, rightly, that you too bear responsibility for agreeing to wait. So own that and then let it go and find a way to let go of the resentment re: DH. Your resentment is a perfect recipe for pushing him away emotionally even as you're jumping him and demanding he get you pregnant on the schedule you want.

You need to get your head on straight and think hard about whether you are in your marriage first and foremost, or want a baby first and foremost. You might think, but I want both equally! Well, many of us want both equally but one is a commitment you already made. The other is a profound hope but not a reality yet--and might never be a reality. Go and read the many, many posts on DCUM from women bemoaning how men "stole their fertility" so they divorced in their mid- to late-30s and are now desperately trying to find dates, find the right man who wants young kids in his late 30s or 40s, who wants to date/marry/have a baby almost immediately, etc. It's beyond sad, frankly. If you can't see a future with your DH that is child-free, or a future with adopted children, or a future as a foster family etc. -- you are putting a biological child ahead of your marriage. Your choice, but if you don't let go of the resentment you are skewing the odds in favor of losing your DH and marriage.