If your 3.5 year old says a child at daycare "hurts me"?

[Anonymous]

She may fear he will hurt her or fear he will push her off the ladder. He may have done so to her or others recently, or several weeks ago. Sometimes all negative things that happened get pinned one the same one or two kids. A kid may trip and fall over their own two feet and declare Johnny pushed them (all the more amusing when Johnny is not there that day.)

For now I would email the teachers and let them know your daughter has mentioned a few times that Johnny has been rough with her. Ask if they have noticed any concerns while the two play, and if they can work with your daughter to use her voice when needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may fear he will hurt her or fear he will push her off the ladder. He may have done so to her or others recently, or several weeks ago. Sometimes all negative things that happened get pinned one the same one or two kids. A kid may trip and fall over their own two feet and declare Johnny pushed them (all the more amusing when Johnny is not there that day.)

For now I would email the teachers and let them know your daughter has mentioned a few times that Johnny has been rough with her. Ask if they have noticed any concerns while the two play, and if they can work with your daughter to use her voice when needed.

Good points, though I would be very specific about what happened when you speak to the teachers. Use the exact words that your daughter used, like “Johnny shoved me” instead of any generalizations, like “Johnny has been rough”. The teachers may be able to identify the exact incident or misunderstanding from the details.

[Anonymous]

Definitely ask the teachers about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the appropriate course of action?

Her teacher has told me that my DD and a boy in her class are friends and it is cute to watch them play together. When I ask DD about him, DD has said things like "Johnny hurts me" or "Johnny pushed me off the ladder". DD is reserved and may not always be able to speak up (we are working on this), and I don't know how much exactly the teachers see. At the same time, DD is of course not the most reliable narrator - not that we think she is lying, but of course with her level of language I don't think we can get the full picture from her. She hasn't come home with injuries or anything like that.

Would you talk to the teacher about this? What would be your expectation of the teachers in this situation?

Is this daycare accredited? Is it in someone's basement? Do you trust them?

This is a center-based daycare with an immaculate licensing record. Not to say they are perfect, but yeah not a fly-by-night operation.

I don't care for this implication that in home daycares are "fly by night" operations and aren't fully licensed. Many of them have been established for 20+ years and are in fact fully licensed.