Telling family about pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Do whatever is best for you. There isn’t a right or wrong here. With my first, we told people instantly without thinking about timing. With our second, we waited until the 5th month to tell any family because they all go overboard and it was nice to have a quieter pregnancy. I still didn’t think about timing the announcement based upon anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No harm in waiting a week or two, but not sure why one has to take away from the other.

Right.
Why do you assume one is taking away from the other??
It's not like you're getting married and telling the family a week before HER wedding.

She'll probably be thrilled that your babies will be so close in age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's your sister's feelings you're worried about why not ask her?

This. If you are that concerned, tell her first, and ask her when she would be comfortable with you sharing with the rest of the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares.

Why do you insist on endlessly posting the same thing? 100% certain you are the person posting the weird rants about moms of three in the infants and toddlers forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do whatever is best for you. There isn’t a right or wrong here. With my first, we told people instantly without thinking about timing. With our second, we waited until the 5th month to tell any family because they all go overboard and it was nice to have a quieter pregnancy. I still didn’t think about timing the announcement based upon anyone else.

OP- Thanks for this and the other helpful advice. I’m going to give her a heads up and tell the rest of my family at the end of the first trimester. My sister had PPD after her first child and I’m genuinely afraid of doing something that will make her feel bad after her second child. It sounds like most people don’t care about something like this, but my sister may not be someone who falls into that camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do whatever is best for you. There isn’t a right or wrong here. With my first, we told people instantly without thinking about timing. With our second, we waited until the 5th month to tell any family because they all go overboard and it was nice to have a quieter pregnancy. I still didn’t think about timing the announcement based upon anyone else.

OP- Thanks for this and the other helpful advice. I’m going to give her a heads up and tell the rest of my family at the end of the first trimester. My sister had PPD after her first child and I’m genuinely afraid of doing something that will make her feel bad after her second child. It sounds like most people don’t care about something like this, but my sister may not be someone who falls into that camp.

I had PPD as well... although, mine felt exasperated by the fact that I was getting exactly zero sleep (colicky baby) and I had no idea what I was doing.

About a month in, and after being prescribed Zoloft, I was so much better, that I didn't need it anymore.

As a precaution, my OB wrote a prescription for Zoloft for after my second, just in case... I didn't need it at all.

Each delivery is different -- I hope your sister has a similar experience as mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No harm in waiting a week or two, but not sure why one has to take away from the other.

+1

Especially for a third kid. No one really cares when you announce a third pregnancy.

- mom of three

OP- It’s about my sister, not about me. I see my family all the time so I can’t hide it forever, but I’m worried about my sister feeling like the spotlight isn’t on her and her new baby. Hence, wanted to know if there was etiquette around this. People who hate babies and pregnancies and think all of this is dumb don’t need to respond. I know how you feel and your advice isn’t helpful.

On the other hand, if you wait 4-6 weeks you'll be almost 20 weeks and it will be very apparent that you waited so not to overshadow your own sister's pregnancy. That might be a bit too much as well and it makes her look like a sensitive ninny IMO. I am nothing but excited for everyone who wants and is growing a baby. There's enough spotlight for all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares.

You care or you wouldn't be commenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares.

Np If you don't' care than go away!

op I would share with your sister first and see what she says. Hopefully, she will be thrilled for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No harm in waiting a week or two, but not sure why one has to take away from the other.

+1

Especially for a third kid. No one really cares when you announce a third pregnancy.

- mom of three

This was me, and none of the other posts were me. I actually love kids/babies/pregnancies, but I didn’t want you to get your hopes up for the response to your announcement. I was hurt when everyone acted blasé about my third kid and wanted to warn you that’s likely to happen to you from lost quarters as well. So you don’t need to time it carefully bc it won’t be a big deal to everyone else.

All the other stuff you thought about me was just projection/overreaction - I haven’t posted on Infants/Toddlers in a long time bc my kids are older so those years a blur now! Congrats on the pregnancy and your impending niece/nephew!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I just found out we are pregnant with our third child. My sister is due with her second at the end of December. Normally I would tell my family about the pregnancy after I received the genetic testing results (around 13 weeks), but that is going to be a week or so after my sister gives birth. In this situation is it polite to wait longer to tell family or should we just go ahead and let everyone know?

Males impregnate females; ergo, only women are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely tell before your sister’s baby comes. If you wait and it’s clear you knew for a while and didn’t tell for a while, that would be weird. If I were the sister and gave birth and found out later that my sister was pregnant and kept it quite while I was pregnant and giving birth, I wouldn’t be miffed - but would definitely think it was weird.

If you don’t want to “steal” the stoplight, tell sooner. Otherwise your sister will have a baby, everyone will be fawning over her baby, and you’re going to be like, “Me, too!! I need attention because I’m pregnant, too!” Which is the opposite of what I think you are trying to accomplish by thinking through the timing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely tell before your sister’s baby comes. If you wait and it’s clear you knew for a while and didn’t tell for a while, that would be weird. If I were the sister and gave birth and found out later that my sister was pregnant and kept it quite while I was pregnant and giving birth, I wouldn’t be miffed - but would definitely think it was weird.

If you don’t want to “steal” the stoplight, tell sooner. Otherwise your sister will have a baby, everyone will be fawning over her baby, and you’re going to be like, “Me, too!! I need attention because I’m pregnant, too!” Which is the opposite of what I think you are trying to accomplish by thinking through the timing.

This is a really good point. I know many people get excited about children close in age but my sister really likes to be in the spotlight and I think it's totally within the realm of possibility for her to not have positive feelings about my pregnancy because she will see it taking away from hers (we're sisters, I know her). It's not that there's drama between us, this would be the case if my brother's wife was pregnant and probably to a lesser extent - but still the case - if her best friend was pregnant. I can't believe how many people don't know someone like this.

[Anonymous]

Are there any special feelings about the sex of the babies? Meaning your sister is having another boy and is devastated it's not a girl and you are having a girl? I don't think there is any harm in announcing the pregnancy at any point, but I would not say the sex until arrival.

I have been in terrible situations with family over names and genders. People oddly have big feelings about both and if you have/want something they want, lord help you.