puberty questions (girls)

[Anonymous]

Jut gave my DD the American Girl book -- she just turned 9. She loved it! We read it together and then she took it to her room and reread it. She thanked me later and said it had answered a lot of questions -- questions I didn't know she had ...

I highly recommend it.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I just picked up the 2 American Girl books (The Care & Keeping of You and Is This Normal?) and I think they will be great for DD.

Since my original post, I noticed she has a couple of little underarm hairs, and I talked to her about that and she told me she also has a few hairs "down there" as well, and that she thinks her breasts are starting to grow (so she did notice it even though I thought she hadn't). So puberty is definitely on the horizon, or I guess, already started.

I'm still really sad that she's starting this at only 9. I tried to talk to her about some things last night and she didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it. It would be much easier if she were 11 or 12. I think on one level it's exciting for her to start to grow up, but she just doesn't seem ready. I think she really still just wants to be a little girl & I so wish I could give her an extra year or two of that. I think I need to emphasize to her that she can still be a little kid and act like a little kid and do all the same things she likes to do. But I also want to make sure she has the information she needs to understand what is happening with her body and not feel self-conscious about it.

I had no idea this would be this hard for me, and being a bit of a late bloomer myself, I never imagined I'd be dealing with this with a 4th-grader!

I'm looking forward to reading some parts of the books with her and I'm glad she will have a resource to read privately if she wants to - thx for the suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Our ped said that the first period should show up two years after the first appearance of pubic hair. So you have some time, in that respect! That was a relief to me. My daughter is nine also.

[Anonymous]

Research supports the assertion that for a first period you typically need to have 17% body fat, and for continued ovulation you need to have 22% (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menarche).

[Anonymous]

Our ped said that the first period should show up two years after the first appearance of pubic hair. So you have some time, in that respect! That was a relief to me. My daughter is nine also.

That's good news. It would be great if that didn't start until she graduates from elementary school in 2 yrs!

[Anonymous]

If she is interested, here is another great book for teens:


Cycle Savvy, by Toni Weschler
http://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Savvy-Smart-Teens-Mysteries/dp/0060829648

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks - the above looks like a good book too, perhaps for a bit later on.

DD knows the very basics of reproduction (penis goes in vagina, sperm + egg = baby) but really not much about sex. When I explained at a very basic level how a baby is made, she responded with a horrified "Did you and Daddy have to do that to get us?! Did you have to go to a hospital to do it?!"

We looked at the American Girl book together last night and she really had no idea whatsoever about periods, menstruation, etc. and was a little taken aback by the whole concept.

I was kind of surprised she had never even heard the words before and didn't even have a vague idea about it. She seemed interested in knowing more, but in some ways it almost seemed like too much information to process at once. So we read a few pages of the book together, and I told her she could keep it and that she can read it if she wants to, but if she's not interested in reading it now, that's fine and she can just put it away for a while and read it whenever she feels comfortable, or she can read it with me if she feels better doing that. And of course if she has any questions, she should feel free to ask me anything, anytime.

Hopefully I did a decent job - I was kind of uncertain how to broach the whole subject without making too big a deal of it.

[Anonymous]

LOL -- go to the hospital!!

For those of us who did fertility treatments, that's not far from the truth.

[Anonymous]

OP -- absolutely not meant to be critical to you personally, but your story is a good example of why we do need to intervene and make sure our girls are filled in with the basics before they learn them on their own or, God forbid, get their period early before they know what it is.

[Anonymous]

OP -- absolutely not meant to be critical to you personally, but your story is a good example of why we do need to intervene and make sure our girls are filled in with the basics before they learn them on their own or, God forbid, get their period early before they know what it is.

I agree. I was not expecting her to enter puberty so young and I thought I had lots more time, but I have been doing some research on how typical this is, and apparently the average age for girls to start puberty now is 9 yrs 10 months, which is EXACTLY my DD's age (and seems shockingly young to be the norm, but it is).

The good news is that once you notice the very early stages of puberty, like hair growth and breast buds, typically it's about 2 more yrs until they start their periods, so there is time to give them the information they need in a series of smaller, more manageable conversations over a year or more.

I do think it's a real challenge, though, for mothers to have to introduce this information to such young girls. It's unclear why, but girls' bodies are maturing at younger and younger ages, even though socially and emotionally they are still children. I'm not sure my DD was ready for the information I gave her last night, but her body is dictating otherwise, and I would never want to leave her ill-informed, scared, or embarrassed about the changes she's experiencing.

[Anonymous]

If poeple would stop feeding their daughters beef and milk from hormone suplimented cows they would probalby not be entering puberty at such young ages.

Organic milk and beef, and non-sedentry lifestyle go a long way in allowing girls to be girls instead of staring mensus at 9 or 10. Body fat has a lot to do with when girls start puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 10:49, you make a good point about the weight issue. My DD also is extremely thin (under 60lbs), and the girls her age who seem to me to have the beginnings of breast development tend more toward the chubby/bigger side. I know part of puberty is changing body shape, growth spurt, and putting on some body fat, and my DD has none of that. She looks very much like a little girl in terms of her body shape and size, though she has always been kind of tall (but DH and I are tall, though, and so are our 2 boys, so that's more genetics than puberty, at this point, I think).

I'm glad you didn't get your period for another year and a half after you started noticing breast development. I would love to get her out of 6th grade before we have to deal with that, or at least have her be on par with what her friends are going through. I don't want her to be the first of her peer group dealing with all of this stuff. She's a summer birthday and one of the youngest in her class, so I always thought we'd have the opposite situation and she'd be a late bloomer compared to her friends.

DD was thin and most [inc DD] started developing in about 5th grade. The rate of dev varies so some might look 18 by grade 7 and others 10-11 until about 15. 5th and 6th grade somewhat determine the path she takes in middle school. Parties, hook-ups, hanging at the mall or downtown Bethesda in big packs, etc. v remaining a core part of your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP -- absolutely not meant to be critical to you personally, but your story is a good example of why we do need to intervene and make sure our girls are filled in with the basics before they learn them on their own or, God forbid, get their period early before they know what it is.

I agree. I was not expecting her to enter puberty so young and I thought I had lots more time, but I have been doing some research on how typical this is, and apparently the average age for girls to start puberty now is 9 yrs 10 months, which is EXACTLY my DD's age (and seems shockingly young to be the norm, but it is).

The good news is that once you notice the very early stages of puberty, like hair growth and breast buds, typically it's about 2 more yrs until they start their periods, so there is time to give them the information they need in a series of smaller, more manageable conversations over a year or more.

I do think it's a real challenge, though, for mothers to have to introduce this information to such young girls. It's unclear why, but girls' bodies are maturing at younger and younger ages, even though socially and emotionally they are still children. I'm not sure my DD was ready for the information I gave her last night, but her body is dictating otherwise, and I would never want to leave her ill-informed, scared, or embarrassed about the changes she's experiencing.

OP, you are doing a great job. I had never heard of a period until I started mine, at age 12. I thought, literally, that I had done something wrong and was dying. Then of course, came the shame and fear of telling my mother. What a freaking nightmare the whole thing was. So, while it's hard and you feel she's still a little girl, you're making a good choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If poeple would stop feeding their daughters beef and milk from hormone suplimented cows they would probalby not be entering puberty at such young ages.

Organic milk and beef, and non-sedentry lifestyle go a long way in allowing girls to be girls instead of staring mensus at 9 or 10. Body fat has a lot to do with when girls start puberty.

I can assure you that my daughter doesn't have an ounce of fat on her. She is still barely 50 pounds and is usually in the bottom 10% of the weight chart while being about 50%ile in height. And yet, at 9y9mos she has begun breast buds w/i the last month.

There is something else going on besides obesity/higher body fat being a trigger for earlier puberty. I know the studies show that is true for some, but definitely not for all.

Perhaps in our case beef and milk consumption might be an explanation; we simply can not afford to eat organic beef and milk 24/7. Other than non-organic, we eat pretty healthily, though (no fried foods, sparing sweets, etc.)

[Anonymous]

If poeple would stop feeding their daughters beef and milk from hormone suplimented cows they would probalby not be entering puberty at such young ages.

Organic milk and beef, and non-sedentry lifestyle go a long way in allowing girls to be girls instead of staring mensus at 9 or 10. Body fat has a lot to do with when girls start puberty.

OP here. Not that I owe you an explanation, but we do drink organic milk, consume very little red meat, and eat tons of organic (and, in the summer, home-grown) fruits and vegetables. My daughter is very active in dance & running track, and she's in the 15th percentile for weight but 75th for height. She's a beanpole. If you saw her, I can assure you the word "obesity" would not spring to mind. At the pool this past weekend, watching her run around in a swimsuit, I turned and asked my husband "do you think other people think we don't feed her enough?" because honestly we do! Her pediatrician has no concerns about her weight or the health of her diet.

But thank you for reading my heartfelt questions and concern for my daughter and finding a way to blame me for causing early puberty. Nice.

Also, I don't believe there is clear evidence that hormones in milk are causing early puberty. It seems to be more rumor than fact, but if anyone has reliable studies to share, I would love to read them, but for those who aren't using organic milk & meats, I don't think you should worry that you're harming your daughters.