Nanny phone use

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don't mind if she looks at her phone occasionally, texts etc. when my toddler naps, which is a good 2-3 hours a day. Or when she's preparing a meal or tidying up while my kids play together and aren't paying attention to her. She either has her phone in her hand or right next to her when she's with my kids and when the screen lights up with a text, she looks at it. I don't like my kids seeing how tethered she is to her phone, call me old-fashioned, but I don't think it sets a good example. I'm not bothered that she's not paying attention to my kids 100% of the time; I wouldn't mind if she read a book while one or both kids play independently, and I actually told her to let my older child read/play on own while she does dishes or whatever, that it's not her job to keep my older DC entertained. I guess I'm more of a luddite than the average parent? My older DC also doesn't play any video games and I know is in the minority.

So do your kids never see you on the phone? If not, than you are a hypocrite. It's a phone, not a sex toy!

[Anonymous]

I would only be upset if the nanny were ignoring my kid to surf the internet, or if they were using the phone to entertain the kid throughout the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think today's culture of MUST INTERACT WITH KID EVERY MINUTE is more unhealthy than checks phone. Kids should be self-entertaining at least some of the time. Watching a child should just mean being nearby and able to respond quickly to something happening. If I'm in the same room with my child who is playing with toys that should be sufficient, and if I want to look at my phone for a little bit (or do a chore, or knit a sock) that should be fine.

+1

+2. As another PP said, scrolling mindlessly while ignoring the kid =/= texting, etc.

You can ask her, PP, but she'll look for another job. Nanny market is red hot right now.

-another "youngish person"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think today's culture of MUST INTERACT WITH KID EVERY MINUTE is more unhealthy than checks phone. Kids should be self-entertaining at least some of the time. Watching a child should just mean being nearby and able to respond quickly to something happening. If I'm in the same room with my child who is playing with toys that should be sufficient, and if I want to look at my phone for a little bit (or do a chore, or knit a sock) that should be fine.

+1

+2. As another PP said, scrolling mindlessly while ignoring the kid =/= texting, etc.

You can ask her, PP, but she'll look for another job. Nanny market is red hot right now.

-another "youngish person"

meant "OP"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don't mind if she looks at her phone occasionally, texts etc. when my toddler naps, which is a good 2-3 hours a day. Or when she's preparing a meal or tidying up while my kids play together and aren't paying attention to her. She either has her phone in her hand or right next to her when she's with my kids and when the screen lights up with a text, she looks at it. I don't like my kids seeing how tethered she is to her phone, call me old-fashioned, but I don't think it sets a good example. I'm not bothered that she's not paying attention to my kids 100% of the time; I wouldn't mind if she read a book while one or both kids play independently, and I actually told her to let my older child read/play on own while she does dishes or whatever, that it's not her job to keep my older DC entertained. I guess I'm more of a luddite than the average parent? My older DC also doesn't play any video games and I know is in the minority.

You are her employer so it’s within your right to define what cell phone usage she can have while she’s at work.

I will say that checking a text message when it comes in is completely normal and she might see it as a lifeline too human interaction. Being a nanny is isolating work and i’m sure your kids are great but it also gets tedious to only interact with young kids. She’s only being human.

[Anonymous]

What does the pediatrician say? Smartphones didn't exist when my kids were small, back then they said no/few screens.

Does he look at the screen when she's on the phone? Does she ignore him?

[Anonymous]

I agree set a clear expectation for when you text her. I've been a nanny for 20 years. I had a family in 2008 that required me to leave my phone in my purse which I was totally fine with. I even got a stern talking to because one day I was changing the baby and the toddler snuck in my purse and later told his parents I had a green phone and they GRILLED me on how he knows what color it is. A couple months later, they had a legitimate family emergency, but couldn't get ahold of me because my phone was in my purse as required. They fired me for being unreachable during an emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree set a clear expectation for when you text her. I've been a nanny for 20 years. I had a family in 2008 that required me to leave my phone in my purse which I was totally fine with. I even got a stern talking to because one day I was changing the baby and the toddler snuck in my purse and later told his parents I had a green phone and they GRILLED me on how he knows what color it is. A couple months later, they had a legitimate family emergency, but couldn't get ahold of me because my phone was in my purse as required. They fired me for being unreachable during an emergency.

Wow, now that’s crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think today's culture of MUST INTERACT WITH KID EVERY MINUTE is more unhealthy than checks phone. Kids should be self-entertaining at least some of the time. Watching a child should just mean being nearby and able to respond quickly to something happening. If I'm in the same room with my child who is playing with toys that should be sufficient, and if I want to look at my phone for a little bit (or do a chore, or knit a sock) that should be fine.

+1

+2 I agree with not scrolling mindlessly for an hour and not being responsive to child but responding to texts should be fine and it doesn’t actually help kids to be hovering and constantly interacting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don't mind if she looks at her phone occasionally, texts etc. when my toddler naps, which is a good 2-3 hours a day. Or when she's preparing a meal or tidying up while my kids play together and aren't paying attention to her. She either has her phone in her hand or right next to her when she's with my kids and when the screen lights up with a text, she looks at it. I don't like my kids seeing how tethered she is to her phone, call me old-fashioned, but I don't think it sets a good example. I'm not bothered that she's not paying attention to my kids 100% of the time; I wouldn't mind if she read a book while one or both kids play independently, and I actually told her to let my older child read/play on own while she does dishes or whatever, that it's not her job to keep my older DC entertained. I guess I'm more of a luddite than the average parent? My older DC also doesn't play any video games and I know is in the minority.

Hi op, I just posted saying kids need more space etc but I admittedly hadn’t seen this update. I’m kind of a luddite too (no video games for older too) and I totally get it. I try to set the example you’re mentioning for my kids thought I’m not always perfect. That being said, I don’t think your nanny being tethered to her phone in this way will have any long term impact on your child’s perception of the issue. Your behavior will be wayyy more influential. For example, I had a great nanny for years as an elementary kid who was SUPER fun, but was also obsessed with fashion, expensive designer things, all sorts of things my parents did not value at all. We are still close with this person, just to share that she really was a big part of my childhood. Am I at all info fashion or designer handbags? Heck no. I’m exactly like my mom in a million ways. A warm engaged caregiver is the most important thing and some of the peripheral stuff and values and how to use time, that’s going to come from you no matter what.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure mommy and daddy are on thier phones too...No one can be with a child 24/7

[Anonymous]

Your nanny will quit. Hire an older nanny

[Anonymous]

They are sweet grandmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny will quit. Hire an older nanny

My 62-year-old former nanny was great but she loved her some Facebook. Everyone loves their phones these days -- just part of life.

Older nannies have been wonderful in my experience though!

[Anonymous]

You could ask for less usage of her ph while on duties but don’t expect her to text back right away moving forward; the fact that she gets back to you right away it’s a good thing.
Be aware that some Nannies have a LIFE and need to have their cell phone. Hopefully she doesn’t quit if you’re paying her top $