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Delusional disorder?
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Anonymous
| OP again. Thanks, PP. Can you elaborate on what type of "safety plan" you're thinking about? Right now they are living apart and he has never acted violently or threatened violence. We worry more about him harming himself eventually. My sister is in contact with his psychiatrist. Their sons are grown and don't live nearby although they're in close contact about what's going on. |
Anonymous
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Safety plan PP here. If they're living apart already that's a step in the right direction. But does he have keys/access to her place? If so, call the locksmith and change that. She should have one person who she can call, day or night, to come get her and a place that she can stay should things get bad, a bit of cash (few hundred dollars) on hand, a fully charged cell phone that he doesn't know about, and a small bag packed. Just in case.
As for his safety, the NAMI resources cited upthread can probably assist with suicide prevention/intervention measures better than I can. Though I'd advise her to take every suicide threat seriously and to look into what would be required to have him involuntarily committed before things get bad, so she has that information on hand and can act quickly on it if it comes to that. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I don't know you. But I do know that when my mentally ill husband tried to strangle me in my sleep and beat my head against the wall to subdue me, "in sickness and in health" got put on the back burner. I grabbed the baby and got the hell outta there. Your experience with mental illness is different, that's fine. But it doesn't give you the right to judge anyone else. |
Anonymous
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Also (and I was the original "clearly ..." poster) having your MIL or best friend with a serious mental illness is different than having a husband/partner with one. And -- sorry for the gender stereotype -- but as the PP says, a man with superior strength who's sleeping in your house and has an emotional connection to you that's much different than a MIL or female friend.
"In sickness and in health" doesn't mean when the other person is a danger to you. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes we who marry "in sickness and in health" don't realize just how bad a situation can get. We really believe we are able to help the person with delusional disorder only to find out they are practically incapable of helping themselves because they refuse to admit to a problem, and subsequently refuse to take their medication. Life becomes impossible. I continue to pray for my ex-husband, but I am happily divorced. |
Anonymous
Don't be judgemental here. You don't know what they are going thru. |
Anonymous
| OP, it is unusual for schizophrenic/delusional symptoms to start late in life--has your BIL been evaluated for early dementia? Not sure that it makes a difference, but sometimes the start of dementia & Alzheimer's looks more like mental health symptoms. Just wondering, bc you mentioned the kids are grown. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes to be eligible for benefits -- people get divorced so that the mentally ill person can qualify for all possible aid. I'm not judging -- I just thank God I'm not in that situation |
Anonymous
| And, when we say "for better or worse"...we don't know how much "worse" the worse can actually get. |
Anonymous
Many people in our prison systems suffer from mental illness, lucky for you none of your mentally ill family members fall into that category. I don't know you either, but I would guess you are a bit ignorant and suffer terribly from myopia. |
Anonymous
Hi, OP here. No, he has not been evaluated for dementia or early Alzheimer's although we have considered that. He doesn't think there is anything wrong with him, so he won't seek help of any kind. My understanding has been that while it's unusual for schizophrenia to manifest this late, delusional disorder can appear in middle age. I'm not sure though. At this point I'm not even sure the exact diagnosis matters since he won't get treatment. It would be nice to know though. |
Anonymous
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and when safety is a concern?
well, so much for getting over sickness and staying healthy, eh? please . . .
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Anonymous
Is there underlying depression, head trauma, or change in life issue that precipitated? The diagnosis will affect the treatment; of course mental health symptoms may be more treatable than dementia, and dementia will progress more quickly & be more debilitating. BIL can be hospitalized involuntarily in the event he threatens harm to himself or others. In DC it's an FD-12 order. Your sister should work with the therapist and psychiatrist to articulate a crisis plan and learn to recognize the signs BIL is at risk. If BIL has a history of suicidal gestures, it may be better to lock up or remove any bottles of medications, firearms, etc that he could get his hands on. If BIL is not willing to seek help despite everyone making there best efforts, your sister absolutely should consider whether she want to end this relationship. BIL has to be willing to get help. He can't help whether or not he gets sick, but he is making a choice to stay sick. This is akin to an alcoholic refusing treatment, and sister will never be able to fix it for him. |
Anonymous
| Last thought, encourage sister to take BIL for complete physical with neurological workup to assess for dementia, brain injury, tumors, etc. There may be a medical issue that is causing the personality change. |
Anonymous
| could you do a little web research and maybe find some books written by people who have overcome the same disorder? i feel like there are all sorts of memoirs out there - I've read books by former alcoholics, bipolars, anorexic/bulimics, depressives, drug addicts, asperger spectrum people and autistics. You name it, I bet someone's written about it. Maybe if he read something that struck a chord, it might help him accept that he's got something wrong, and maybe eventually he'll try to fix it. |