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Delusional disorder?
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Anonymous
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Does anyone have a loved one who suffers from a delusional disorder? I posted a few months ago about my brother-in-law who we believed was suffering from some kind of psychosis or paranoia or delusions regarding my sister being unfaithful to him. He and my sister have each seen a psychiatrist now and the psychiatrist believes, as we do, that he suffers from a delusional disorder. My sister is coming to terms with the fact that her marriage is over and her husband is mentally ill and is worried he might not recover. He is extremely resistant to treatment and does not recognize that his delusions are not real.
Anyone with any experience in something like this? |
Anonymous
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It's D.C. Most people are delusional. I think you want to know if anyone will admit this or admit this enough to be medically treated in a proper manner. Good luck, OP. |
Anonymous
| Sorry no advice but wish your sister luck with her divorce and hope no delusions complicate the custody arrangements... |
Anonymous
I think that trivializes a real family dealing with real mental illness. |
Anonymous
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OP, I posted in the earlier thread, I think. I have had experience with this with my late husband. No happy ending, I'm sorry to say. Please make sure that your sister is alert to the potential for violence that comes along with the jealous variant of delusional disorder. She needs to have a safety plan, even if she's getting separated/divorced.
Take care. Be safe. |
Anonymous
| Both my FIL and we now think my BIL are schizophrenic. It's a horribly sad, difficult and challenging disease. The problem is that the ill so strongly believe in their delusions that there's nothing you can say to convince them otherwise. And if you do present them with an impossibility then they back off but come at the delusion from a different angle so as to make it "possible". From what hubby told me, FIL delusions started off similar to OP's BIL situation with delusions of infidelity. It was years (almost 8) before he hit rock bottom and got help. I recently purchased a couple of books on the illness and your sister really should start reading b/c it does very realistically show what paths various delusional disorders can take. My thoughts are with you - this illness is constantly looming over our heads and I worry about what it will do to our family on a daily basis. |
Anonymous
| Thank you, everyone. We don't think BIL is schizophrenic or violent but we do worry that he could eventually become suicidal. I appreciate the responses and will pass them on to my sister. |
Anonymous
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The Maryland Chapter of NAMI has tremendous support facilities for families coping with mental illness. My MIL had schizoaffective disorder, so not true schizophrenia, but very delusional (at one point she was so angry with me she told DH that she was sorry he was widowed. My next visit put a kabosh on that delusion.)
There is medication, but getting the person to take it is a real challenge. The person affected has to have enough insight to realize they need to get on the medication and stay on it in order to function and have a family/work life. It can be done, but it will really depend on your BIL. My friend has a schizoaffective husband - they have stayed together, but she has had to take over doing everything since he has become non-functional and no longer works. |
Anonymous
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My sister is schizoaffective disorder (bipolar and schizo). I agree contact NAMI to get help. My sister only get help involuntarily after she was arrested. Some meds while she was in the hospital (on something unrelated) really help her. She doesn't work, but is not delusional like before.
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Anonymous
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what happened to "in sickness and in health"?
I can't understand how people live with it around here... we promise someone we'll stand by them no matter what but in the end we just walk away from them. Very very nobel atitude hum? |
Anonymous
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12:06:
Clearly you've never been around someone with a serious mental disorder. |
Anonymous
clearly you don't know me. MIL is squizofrenic, my best friend (we're friends since 5th grade) is bipolar, my mom has depression and anxiety... should I go on? walking away from someone you promised to stand for no matter what is for cowards; the easy way out. |
Anonymous
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It's possible that he might need to be hospitalized in order to be made to take the meds long enough to realize that they are helping him and to commit to staying on them of his own volition.
It is not the same, but my great-aunt developed early-term Alzheimer's with such a strong paranoia component that it was touch and go for a number of months before they got her to the point (with essentially forced feedings, sadly) where she was not so paranoid that she fought the nurses trying to give her the anti-paranoia meds. A mental illness that comes with an infidelity delusion is only a few steps away from a spouse battering situation, and your sister needs to be safe first. Mental illnesses are lifelong situations that need to be managed and sometimes it's not safe for other people -- children or spouses -- to stay in relationships. Don't let guilt keep your sister in a dangerous situation; only if people are getting treatment and are not a danger to others is there a reasonable social argument for trying to stick it out. If someone changes into someone you wouldn't have married and shows every intention of staying that way, that's not the relationship you committed to (IMO). And, for the record, my father has serious mental health problems that damaged my relationship with him profoundly. We have a workable interaction now (he is on meds but refuses therapy), but I would never allow him to live in my house no matter how ill or alone or whatever he became. I love him, and I love my health and safety and he does only the minimal to keep him functional to his own standards, without regard for his impact on others. |
Anonymous
OP here. My sister and my BIL have been married for over 25 years and she is fully committed to him and to their marriage. His delusions have led him to leave her and it has broken her heart. HE is the one who wants out, and it's because he is sick. Despite him moving out, our entire family is trying to help him. We love him. We are trying the best we can. Thanks to everyone else for all the helpful info and commiseration. It helps to know we are not alone. |
Anonymous
| I'm so sorry, OP. Mental illness runs in my family and in DH's family and it is so difficult. It does sound like she needs to have a safety plan, heartbreaking as it is, he could be dangerous to her or the kids. I wish you the best in getting him some help. There is so little control over another adult, even a clearly ill one. |