Skin tone question

[Anonymous]

OP here. Upon reflection, I think some of what I am reading here does strike me as slightly rude if I didn't know you and didn't know your intent.

I think one of the problems with just a physical description is that it just stops right there, there is so much more to a person.

There is nothing wrong with an innocent child describing physical features but I think since there are such deeper and more sensitive issues that people have to deal with, it's probably best to try to steer them beyond to character traits , "Is she kind, how do you feel when you play together, etc.."

Move it on!

[Anonymous]

My kids are biracial and range from light-dark skinned. They talk about skin color all the time because they are children. They don’t understand race at all, because they categorize color (peach, golden, brown skin). They call their Asian friend white because he is lighter than them. They call anyone their skin tone brown and anyone darker black. It is just skin, just be matter of fact and don’t project your anxieties on your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are biracial and range from light-dark skinned. They talk about skin color all the time because they are children. They don’t understand race at all, because they categorize color (peach, golden, brown skin). They call their Asian friend white because he is lighter than them. They call anyone their skin tone brown and anyone darker black. It is just skin, just be matter of fact and don’t project your anxieties on your child.

And there’s your answer.

[Anonymous]

Everything someone says is racism these days. Just be happy and stop overlooking colors. The tension between blacks against whites and viceversa needs to END.

[Anonymous]

What? This makes no sense to me. Color is a thing. Different colors make the world a more beautiful place. I am a Melungeon from the Appalachian Mountains. I get very dark in the sun. My youngest daughter never tans and rarely burns. She is white as a ghost. So funny to see my arm next to hers. I do not understand division by color. I do not understand racism. I do not understand bigotry. We all bleed red. We are all just dust in the wind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child accurately described someone as Asian and her friends told her that was racist. She said that her best friend had brown skin. Ditto.

Now even at home w me she hesitates to use any descriptive term for skin color or race.

I once said this Indian lady was smelly and my kids said I was not allowed to say that and that was racist. I didn’t say all Indians were smelly.

I can see my kids are hesitant to describe anyone by the color of their skin. If they are talking about Johnny. They may describe him as the boy with brown hair when he they can say he is black.

I don’t think mentioning someone’s skin or ethnicity makes you sound racist.

Good for your kids for calling you out. That’s a stereotype about Indian people. Hopefully you only said that in front of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child accurately described someone as Asian and her friends told her that was racist. She said that her best friend had brown skin. Ditto.

Now even at home w me she hesitates to use any descriptive term for skin color or race.

I once said this Indian lady was smelly and my kids said I was not allowed to say that and that was racist. I didn’t say all Indians were smelly.

I can see my kids are hesitant to describe anyone by the color of their skin. If they are talking about Johnny. They may describe him as the boy with brown hair when he they can say he is black.

I don’t think mentioning someone’s skin or ethnicity makes you sound racist.

Good for your kids for calling you out. That’s a stereotype about Indian people. Hopefully you only said that in front of your kids.

Smelly Indians is not racist? Chill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child accurately described someone as Asian and her friends told her that was racist. She said that her best friend had brown skin. Ditto.

Now even at home w me she hesitates to use any descriptive term for skin color or race.

I once said this Indian lady was smelly and my kids said I was not allowed to say that and that was racist. I didn’t say all Indians were smelly.

I can see my kids are hesitant to describe anyone by the color of their skin. If they are talking about Johnny. They may describe him as the boy with brown hair when he they can say he is black.

I don’t think mentioning someone’s skin or ethnicity makes you sound racist.

Good for your kids for calling you out. That’s a stereotype about Indian people. Hopefully you only said that in front of your kids.

Smelly Indians is not racist? Chill

I said it was a stereotype about Indians. You chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child accurately described someone as Asian and her friends told her that was racist. She said that her best friend had brown skin. Ditto.

Now even at home w me she hesitates to use any descriptive term for skin color or race.

I once said this Indian lady was smelly and my kids said I was not allowed to say that and that was racist. I didn’t say all Indians were smelly.

I can see my kids are hesitant to describe anyone by the color of their skin. If they are talking about Johnny. They may describe him as the boy with brown hair when he they can say he is black.

I don’t think mentioning someone’s skin or ethnicity makes you sound racist.

Good for your kids for calling you out. That’s a stereotype about Indian people. Hopefully you only said that in front of your kids.

Smelly Indians is not racist? Chill

I said it was a stereotype about Indians. You chill out.

They don’t smell you clown. Get out of here with your white privilege

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child accurately described someone as Asian and her friends told her that was racist. She said that her best friend had brown skin. Ditto.

Now even at home w me she hesitates to use any descriptive term for skin color or race.

I once said this Indian lady was smelly and my kids said I was not allowed to say that and that was racist. I didn’t say all Indians were smelly.

I can see my kids are hesitant to describe anyone by the color of their skin. If they are talking about Johnny. They may describe him as the boy with brown hair when he they can say he is black.

I don’t think mentioning someone’s skin or ethnicity makes you sound racist.

Good for your kids for calling you out. That’s a stereotype about Indian people. Hopefully you only said that in front of your kids.

Smelly Indians is not racist? Chill

I said it was a stereotype about Indians. You chill out.

They don’t smell you clown. Get out of here with your white privilege

I'm Black.

[Anonymous]

Talking about skin color is not racist. We tell our kids some people have light skin and some people have dark skin, because everyone has a different amount of melanin in their skin. Don’t pretend there aren’t differences between people - kids obviously see the difference. DH and I are a mixed race couple and our kids are various shades of brown. They notice we are different and there was a period of time where they talked about it all the time. If your kids say something in public - for example, why does that person have dark skin - I would just say something along the lines of “their skin is darker because they have more melanin in it.” But I also stress that we shouldn’t make comments about other peoples bodies. It’s ok to ask questions, but everyone’s body is different and it is rude to talk about people’s bodies. Certainly don’t call people smelly, PP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are biracial and range from light-dark skinned. They talk about skin color all the time because they are children. They don’t understand race at all, because they categorize color (peach, golden, brown skin). They call their Asian friend white because he is lighter than them. They call anyone their skin tone brown and anyone darker black. It is just skin, just be matter of fact and don’t project your anxieties on your child.

Exacty. Out goal should be to make skin color no more relevant than hair color or eye color. To kids, it already is.

[Anonymous]

OK I’m the outlier here but I don’t really like when kids talk about somebody having light skin or dark skin. Because that’s all relative to the white person. Relative to a white person I have dark skin, but relative to a black person I have light skin. So I don’t like describing people in terms of light or dark because that’s a relative term and it’s relative to favor white people. I think talking in terms of lighter and darker is undesirable. And it is separate and distinct from talking in terms of skin color like tan, white, etc. if my biracial child were to talk about somebody being light skin or dark skinned I would correct it. I don’t think it’s polite to say that x child is dark. All that does is ostracize a child. I would just cost correct and say everyone looks different and that’s just how the world is. We may look different from each other outside but we are all equal and no one is better than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child accurately described someone as Asian and her friends told her that was racist. She said that her best friend had brown skin. Ditto.

Now even at home w me she hesitates to use any descriptive term for skin color or race.

I once said this Indian lady was smelly and my kids said I was not allowed to say that and that was racist. I didn’t say all Indians were smelly.

I can see my kids are hesitant to describe anyone by the color of their skin. If they are talking about Johnny. They may describe him as the boy with brown hair when he they can say he is black.

I don’t think mentioning someone’s skin or ethnicity makes you sound racist.

What is wrong with you? You don’t understand how saying that Indian lady is smelly is totally racist? If it’s not about her race why did you mention her race at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. What a crazy question. Are you white?

Of course. Do you not realize white people are universally not allowed to comment on any characteristics like this? We say something about someone’s hair: your racist. We say something about skin color when it isn’t favorable: racist. Sure, this is old thinking, but many of us that are parents now grew up being taught that acknowledging race exists is racist. We are trying to do better so I understand where OP comes from. Many of we’re literally taught that not being “colorblind “ means you are racist.

Forgive all the grammar mistakes, autocorrect. I swear I’m not stupid. 😂

White people taught you color blind was right and acknowledging someone’s race is wrong because they were uncomfortable talking about race. Are you working to break this cycle?