Transition from 2 to 3 kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found this thread and bumping it. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third (older children are 15 months and 3.5) and didn't find many of these responses reassuring. Any other pieces of advice? Also, when does it get better after the third starts walking?

I’m the PP directly above you - I’d rather be honest than reassure you with BS. Having three kids is hard. There’s a reason a lot of people stop at two.

That said, you really do have to shift your thinking; you can’t parent three kids the same way you parent two, at least, not if you want to stay afloat. Find activities at least two kids can do together. Get a good carrier for the baby. Find play spaces that are contained (I loved a good playground with a fence). You’ll likely have to level up on babysitters since most teens can’t handle three young kids in the way an experienced nanny can.

IME it got easier once our youngest turned four. He’s six and a half now and it’s much easier - but now the challenge is balancing activities, emotional needs related to peers, schoolwork, etc. As I said above, I love having three and it’s also a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found this thread and bumping it. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third (older children are 15 months and 3.5) and didn't find many of these responses reassuring. Any other pieces of advice? Also, when does it get better after the third starts walking?

My DH said it was a switch from man-on-man to zone defense. Really, it's a matter of having more flexible thinking and being able to switch things up as you go. For sure, everyone on the same schedules as much as possible. It gets busier as they get older. Activities were chosen such that everyone could participate either at the same time or back to back. (Swim lessons - all in pool same time, different groups. Soccer - DH coached 3 teams so they had to schedule games around him. Piano - back-to-back lessons.) As kids got older, they didn't have "chores". Instead, it was "team family". We are all making dinner, we are all cleaning the family room, we are all doing laundry, etc. Each kid pitched in with what they were capable of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found this thread and bumping it. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third (older children are 15 months and 3.5) and didn't find many of these responses reassuring. Any other pieces of advice? Also, when does it get better after the third starts walking?

Our third is 15 and I thought it would be easier when he started walking. I was wrong. He watches his older siblings and gets into everything. It’s exhausting and I WOH so he is in daycare and I still find it incredibly challenging. We aren’t at the stage of multiple activities and honestly we run our house like a well run ship, but it’s still a lot. I wish I knew how hard it was. I love the guy but the last 15 months have been the longest of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just found this thread and bumping it. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third (older children are 15 months and 3.5) and didn't find many of these responses reassuring. Any other pieces of advice? Also, when does it get better after the third starts walking?

Our third is 15 and I thought it would be easier when he started walking. I was wrong. He watches his older siblings and gets into everything. It’s exhausting and I WOH so he is in daycare and I still find it incredibly challenging. We aren’t at the stage of multiple activities and honestly we run our house like a well run ship, but it’s still a lot. I wish I knew how hard it was. I love the guy but the last 15 months have been the longest of my life.

I feel like it got easier when the third was about 3 (the other two were 4.5 and 7.5). Although we are now entering the multiple activities stage — this fall was a preview — and wow, just wow. But that was just logistics and running around — not nearly as bad as the chasing multiple toddlers. But 3 is A LOT. It is not for the faint of heart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My third child was the easiest transition as a newborn but honestly ever since my youngest could walk, life got really difficult. It’s hard, go easy on yourselves, understand that some things have to give.

This was our experience too. But we love having three - congrats!