Transition from 2 to 3 kids

[Anonymous]

So we just had our second baby in December and learned that we were preggers a month or so ago (now nearly 12 weeks), due in April. Our oldest will be 4 in December. That transition from 1 to 2 kids is still fresh in our minds (and we still have no idea how we survived). Any pointers for the transition from 2 to 3? Both kids are in daycare and I'm a working mom and my husband works from home and he does A LOT, like seriously. Sometimes it's more on him than me, but it eventually balances itself back to 50/50 for the most part. It's busy for sure.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 3 who also works outside the house as does my DH. Not to scare you but adjusting to 3 was hard. Our youngest is now 15 months. People will say that you need to quit your job. Don’t do it. Those hours away keep me sane. All 3 of ours are in daycare too. We don’t outsource anything other than daycare. At some point you learn to just make it work. We streamline bedtime and all kids go down at the same time. They also all get thrown in the bath together. As of now none do activities at night and we will probably keep it that way for a little while.

It’s possible, you just have to simplify you life.

[Anonymous]

I'm four weeks in with my third. First two are 15 months apart, 2 and 3. Truthfully, the adjustment from 2 to 3 was has been the easiest for me. Our first was a VERY hard baby (still a hard toddler) and we had our second at the beginning of covid, so that was its own nightmare. By #3 you have your systems in place, you know what you're doing (mostly), you are used to the lack of sleep, lack of personal time. #3 has just kind of settled in.

I will say the first week we did the obvious which was DH was with the older kids while I had the baby, but we actually realized it's easier for me to wear the baby and have a toddler while he has the other. Or I nurse and read/watch tv/go to the park with one and he does errands with the other. This might not last forever but we have been surprised this was the easier option.

Automate everything you can. Spend as much on childcare as you can. Co-sleep if you need to. Let as much go as possible.

Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

My third child was the easiest transition as a newborn but honestly ever since my youngest could walk, life got really difficult. It’s hard, go easy on yourselves, understand that some things have to give.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the above poster. I thought it was easy going from 2 to 3 until our 3rd started walking and now is basically trying to kill himself or destroy our house at every turn. I would have said it wasn’t bad when he was a newborn. But jeez this is exhausting. My older two are now much more self sufficient (6 and 7 years old) but the 2 year old is just nuts.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why but I found going from 2 to 3 easier. I think it’s because the eldest two played together and entertained each other. Third is now 14 months and starting to become extremely difficult lol. But those first 12 months were easier than I expected.

[Anonymous]

My mom had 3 under 3. Same bedtimes, same bath. No outsourcing at all. No preschool.

I stuck with one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom had 3 under 3. Same bedtimes, same bath. No outsourcing at all. No preschool.

I stuck with one.

Ok cool? How does this help OP?

[Anonymous]

Congratulations! I had 3 under 4 and my first two are very close in age. I found with 2 to 3, the third baby is easy because you are very experienced with the baby stage. It's the older two who need more. I streamlined everything- the older two were each other's playmates, and I was religious about naps and early bedtimes. If you need extra help, especially when the third is born, spend the money for it. Your worth it. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Meant you're worth it

[Anonymous]

You need a totally new playbook. You’re moving out on one on one to a zone defense.
We had twins the second time around so we went from 1 to 3.

Honestly, just take things as they come. My only other advice is to pack extra everything. We had extra diapers, snacks etc. in the car. Extra snacks, diaper etc. and a diaper bag, at work, at grandparents, everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom had 3 under 3. Same bedtimes, same bath. No outsourcing at all. No preschool.

I stuck with one.

Ok cool? How does this help OP?

I recognize this Debbie Downer from similar remarks on the board. Can you imagine living with such a person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the above poster. I thought it was easy going from 2 to 3 until our 3rd started walking and now is basically trying to kill himself or destroy our house at every turn. I would have said it wasn’t bad when he was a newborn. But jeez this is exhausting. My older two are now much more self sufficient (6 and 7 years old) but the 2 year old is just nuts.

Agreed, from another mom of three. The transition to having a third baby was not hard; my older kids were 4.5 and 2.5 when the youngest was born. The transition to having a third mobile child was VERY hard. Kids are now 10, 8, and 6 and it’s much easier, mostly, but those early years were rough. DH and I also work FT, but mostly from home now. Even in the Before Times our jobs were very flexible.

I really love having three kids AND they’re a ton of work.

[Anonymous]

I just found this thread and bumping it. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third (older children are 15 months and 3.5) and didn't find many of these responses reassuring. Any other pieces of advice? Also, when does it get better after the third starts walking?

[Anonymous]

I found the adjustment from 2 to 3 easy the first few years. Now I find life so busy and chaotic dealing with three kids separate schedules and needs.