Can you have a good relationship with a sibling who only is in touch when they need something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very general question is in the subject line. I am wondering if others can feel like they’re content or content enough with that kind of a sibling relationship, where the relationship is characterized by a sibling only reaching out for favors, information, answers for questions, hookups for different opportunities. I myself can’t find contentment in this, and wonder if that’s too harsh or appropriate.

??? Do you ever reach out to them? If you want more, have you initiated with them? It sounds like you want more but you aren't exerting yourself at all. Get off your keister and start to do something. Like they're supposed to read your mind. So, yes, you sound harsh and unrealistic, and immature. I also think your use of the word "contentment" is quite weird.

OP. So many of you do nothing but project. Of course I’ve reached out to this sibling; I don’t expect mind-reading. Overtures aren’t reciprocated, and instead, DH and I are contacted only when we can do something (typically $) for this sibling. I have broached the subject directly and nothing changes. So I do understand at this point it’s unlikely to change, and intend to move towards acceptance and contentment. So, yes, you may put your considered response in your keister.

[Anonymous]

Can you have a polite relationship? Yes. However it's not a reciprocal relationship so it is not going to be strong and it probably doesn't fit most people's definitions of "good."