Kindergartener having poop accidents

[Anonymous]

Our GI doc was at pediatric specialists of VA. i feel like make GI docs are somehow abrasive as an entire specialty? I’ve never found one i particularly enjoyed talking to so it would be difficult for me to recommend anyone specifically…

[Anonymous]

Does he have anxiety about using public restrooms? I had that issue in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have anxiety about using public restrooms? I had that issue in elementary school.

There is a world of difference between preschool bathrooms and elementary bathrooms, which are often crowded without real privacy. Call the health office and ask if he can use their bathroom because he is having accidents.

[Anonymous]

I think likely encoperisis. My child had this, was going every day and we had no idea he was constipated. He also kept having poop accidents.

[Anonymous]

The difference between preK and K (when it comes to this specific issue) is that in preK they generally have specific times throughout the day where the whole class lines up and tries using the bathroom, and that’s gone in K.

I do think it’s strange/maybe a sign that there’s something else going on that he has poop accidents, AND doesn’t do anything about it. I’m not saying there’s not something else going on

But: my completely NT kid had pee accidents twice on the way home from school in the first couple weeks of K. In talking with her I realized she’d been holding it for a long time / sometimes hadn’t gone to the bathroom all day at school - largely from not wanting to stop what she was doing. Point being, I talked to the teacher and it went fine - yes, this is elementary school now but kindergarteners are also young and still figuring things out, and their teachers are there to help them do that

[Anonymous]

Our DC was like this. Everyone said constipation/endometriosis but it was never diagnosed that way. It was traumatic for all of us but eventually it stopped.

[Anonymous]

OP, even if it started with him not wanting to use the bathroom at school, it quickly could have turned into impaction and he has now lost control over it.

You all are not doing him any favors by attributing it to laziness and trying to shame him. I personally had terrible anxiety as a kid and when I got a teacher I was afraid of, I stopped asking to go to the bathroom. I quickly became impacted and started soiling myself. My mom was furious and I was too afraid to tell her the truth (that I was scared to ask and sometimes I just lost control and pooped) because I knew she would just be mad at me instead of being helpful. I don't remember what I said but I think I just lied and kept saying I didn't know why it happened. It was awful and took almost a year to resolve. And trust me, there were plenty of peer consequences in addition to my parents constantly shaming me.

I don't know if your school will do this without a doctor note, but personally I would put him on Miralax for a cleanout and have a plan at school where he is (quietly) sent to the restroom every hour, whether or not he says he needs to go. Also he should be able to ask anytime.

Does your doctor office have a nurse line? That seems crazy to me that you can't get in until November. My his stomach hurts...or he has some other symptom...that would get you an appointment more quickly...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, even if it started with him not wanting to use the bathroom at school, it quickly could have turned into impaction and he has now lost control over it.

You all are not doing him any favors by attributing it to laziness and trying to shame him. I personally had terrible anxiety as a kid and when I got a teacher I was afraid of, I stopped asking to go to the bathroom. I quickly became impacted and started soiling myself. My mom was furious and I was too afraid to tell her the truth (that I was scared to ask and sometimes I just lost control and pooped) because I knew she would just be mad at me instead of being helpful. I don't remember what I said but I think I just lied and kept saying I didn't know why it happened. It was awful and took almost a year to resolve. And trust me, there were plenty of peer consequences in addition to my parents constantly shaming me.

I don't know if your school will do this without a doctor note, but personally I would put him on Miralax for a cleanout and have a plan at school where he is (quietly) sent to the restroom every hour, whether or not he says he needs to go. Also he should be able to ask anytime.

Does your doctor office have a nurse line? That seems crazy to me that you can't get in until November. My his stomach hurts...or he has some other symptom...that would get you an appointment more quickly...

Also, you said he said he likes the feeling. Of holding? You could do some psychoeducation on what happens if you hold the poop in (it gets bigger and harder and more difficult to control...there may even be some animated Youtube videos on this). If he likes the feeling of the poop in his underpants, I think some straightforward "it's not safe because of germs and the smell bothers other people." would be appropriate. No need for shame, just be matter-of-fact.

[Anonymous]

Does he have language or speech delays? What was the expectation for bathroom breaks in preschool- did that take him or did he request? If he requested, how did he do that?

In Kindergarten what is the expectation for using the bathroom- just take them or are they expected to request it?
If they request it, how?

Does he have the prerequisite skills to complete the expectation in kindergarten? Are there skills that can be taught to teach him? Are there ways to get around requests if it’s a problem?

You’re jumping straight into a lot of things but you need to be looking at the why is the pooping happening and fix it asap rather than focusing on what disorder your child may or may not have.

Request an FBA at school if needed, ask questions of the teacher, have her take data, go observe the classroom, talk to his old preschool about what they used to do….

[Anonymous]

My DD has this until 2nd grade and we were at our wit’s end. Took her to a pediatric gastroenterologist who prescribed a clean-out with Miralax and routine potty times after meals. Soon after she was (coincidentally) diagnosed with ADHD and went on meds. The first day on meds she said, “I have to go to the bathroom.” Although the problem lingered for months afterwards, the ADHD meds pretty much cured the problem. The poop gets very backed up and causes mega-colon, so it takes a while to clean everything out so the colon shrinks back to normal. I told the gastro doc this, and he seemed unconvinced. But I am absolutely positive that encopresis is caused by ADHD.

Definitely test for ADHD!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg OP, way to humiliate your child by making him wash the poop out. Trash the $3 underwear and work with a pediatrician. You suck.

Other than probably having ADHD, my child is developmentally normal. Even if he does have ADHD, he needs to learn that accidents need to be cleaned up, whether it’s milk spilled on the kitchen floor or a poop accident. It’s not a shame thing, it’s a personal responsibility thing; he will need to learn how to function within society, ADHD or not. Sorry your kid isn’t getting that.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the teacher and find out the bathroom routine at school. It sounds like he's scared to ask to use the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the third time in two weeks, our perfectly potty-trained kindergartener has had a poop accident at school—and didn’t tell anyone! For hours! I am absolutely shocked. He’s the kind of kid who doesn’t go to the bathroom unless it’s an EMERGENCY no matter how much we tell him to, but the actual act of soiling himself is new. He was in an all-day Pre-K program before this.

He’s extremely stubborn, so he claims he likes the feeling. We made him wash his underwear in the sink (under our supervision) the second and third time to teach him that this is not without consequences. It turns out that before he pooped in his pants today, he also had a pee accident because we found a wet pair of pants in his backpack. He initially lied to us, saying that a kid pushed him into a puddle so he had to change pants, but the smell told us everything we needed to know.

I’m worried he has some physical or mental issue happening, but his doctor’s office doesn’t have any appointments available until November. I firmly believe that he has ADHD (it runs in my family), but my husband thinks he’s just lazy and doesn’t want to prioritize using the bathroom. I need to contact his teachers to see if they can force him to go, but with so many kids in his class, I don’t know how that is going to happen.

I so am frustrated by the lack of doctor’s appointments available and the lack of support from my husband in figuring out what’s going on. This is a vent, but if you have suggestions, please, please, please tell me. What resources to schools have for his if it isn’t physical? Can I go to urgent care to get him seen? Help!

I'm sorry I don't have a solution but my son did this from age 4 until puberty hit. I had to go to school at lunch time to make him sit on the toilet.
I'm finding it's common in boys with high functioning autism. It may not just be the adhd.

We went through everything from therapists with their rewards that didn't work to doctors lying and saying his colon was impacted and he should be put on miralax etc.
In the end, I believe it's related tye fact that he seems to have mild hypermobility. He's extra flexible in parts of his body and has a few other Eds symptoms.
Try not to hold it against him. He's not doing it on purpose, I promise.

[Anonymous]

Going through the same situation with our 5yo K kid diagnosed with HFA and maybe ADD. We give ours culturelle probiotic and lots of water when he is home. First thing he does in the morning when he wakes up is sitting on the potty before school. We wake him up 45 minutes before we need to leave for school. Here is what works for us:

1--Firm bedtime by 0745-0800pm;
2--Lots of water, no juice, milk at night and maybe in the morning with Culturelle powder;
3--We give him plenty of exercise in the afternoon;
4--Constant reminders to go potty and lots of high fives without any pressure;
5--Lots of fruits and veggies and whatever he wants to eat minus the junk food;

We had no accidents this last week, so it took about four weeks.

Lots of hugs and good luck to you. It will get better.

[Anonymous]

I would consider using Miralax at least short term, because like others here I have a kid with encopresis and impaction and longer term bowel issues that started with simple constipation (which can present as normal poop or even runny poop, but there's still a ball of impacted poop stuck up there). To make that less likely, especially this early into the problem, Miralax may be the way to go. Also make sure he's getting enough water.

Can you have him sit on the toilet before school? If he refuses you could try a short term sticker chart.