Is it possible to break up and remain friends?

[Anonymous]

"writing about our relationship milestones in a journal" -- that's really cringe, especially if he's doing it. (Please tell me it's you...)

[Anonymous]

The only reason you want to remain friends with him is for your benefit ( paying for all of our outings and dinners, buying me flowers, very supportive during a recent surgery I had).

Let him go. You can find another person with those qualities and without the mental health issue.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think you sound a little co-dependent.

Buying you flowers, being supportive during surgery, and keeping photos of you isn’t “trying hard”. It’s, like, the bare minimum.

You’re far more concerned over how the breakup will affect him than you should be.

And it sounds like a huge part of wanting to be friends with him is because you don’t want to hurt him as bad, so you think being friends is a great consolation prize for him that will keep him from being in as much pain.

Make a clean break and move on. What will likely happen anyway is one of you will start dating someone else and the friendship will end anyway (and possibly be even more painful if the other person was holding out hope).

[Anonymous]

I think being friends w/an ex is only a wise idea if both parties have fully + truthfully moved on emotionally from each other.

Which is why it is a better choice to become friends ideally after some time has passed.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can, but it's up to the other person. I dumped my ex when I was 34, we had been dating for four years. We are friends today. We're both in the same profession and are part of the same social club and have more than a handful of the same close friends. She's a great woman who is really smart, and friendly, and fun and is genuinely a great person.

I just lost the flame and couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with her. Joke's on me, she dates way more now than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a guy for 6 months. We are both dating for marriage and kids. He has tried hard in our relationship, e.g., paying for all of our outings and dinners, buying me flowers, etc. However, he has some personal issues (mental health) that lead me to conclude that while we get along well, it wouldn’t be a great idea to marry and have children with him. We had been discussing building our future together, including writing about our relationship milestones in a journal and he keeps photos of us by his desk at work. He was also very supportive during a recent surgery I had. Honestly, I’m going to miss him dearly if we lose contact, which is the main reason I haven’t broken up with him yet. I don’t think he is going to take the break up well. Advice?

Bad idea. Either break up and go separate ways, or stay & deal with his disorders. No break up and stay friends /support buddies. Yuck

[Anonymous]

I mean, Jerry and Elaine managed.