Do you think marriages with highly attractive people are worse when older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t remember where I read it but it was something along the lines of beautiful people die two deaths; I took it to mean the first death is when you are no longer beautiful and the second when your heart stops beating.

I cringe when I hear it but I’ve witnessed a number of times when someone sees an old picture of a now old woman and says oh my God you were so gorgeous. Change in our face is so gradual in the mirror that I don’t think most people notice it until someone says something stupid; i’ve seen it during interviews with actresses where the interviewer shows a clip of this woman in her 20s and makes a comment on her beauty in past tense- that has to feel awful.

Infidelity has so many different accelerants and I think current looks of one’s spouse is pretty far down on the list.
There is no sure fire way to affair-proof a marriage but keeping one’s self in reasonably good condition and health along with doing your best to meet your partners emotional needs is as good as we can get.

Former model here. I look at my own pictures from 20 years ago and make that comment! Give us a little credit. We don't ONLY have our looks as the basis of self confidence.

Living an interesting life, and being positive and kind, trump attractiveness *every* time. That's why people "affair down" in terms of looks; they go to someone who is welcoming, joyful, open, fun...

You can't affair-proof a marriage but you can affair-proof your life and sense of worth, and having genuine confidence is what will also reduce the risk of your partner looking elsewhere.

Plenty of beautiful people age beautifully and remain attractive to their partner for life. Anecdotally, we were recently out for drinks with another couple and DH (in 40s) commented on how stunning the 60 yo women is: she's still thin, fit, fashionable and has had an amazing, intellectual career. I can see how shallow marriages struggle, but that's not true for all couples who were physically attractive in their twenties. This 60 yo woman's husband would truly be a moron to let her get away, and I think he knew it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t remember where I read it but it was something along the lines of beautiful people die two deaths; I took it to mean the first death is when you are no longer beautiful and the second when your heart stops beating.

I cringe when I hear it but I’ve witnessed a number of times when someone sees an old picture of a now old woman and says oh my God you were so gorgeous. Change in our face is so gradual in the mirror that I don’t think most people notice it until someone says something stupid; i’ve seen it during interviews with actresses where the interviewer shows a clip of this woman in her 20s and makes a comment on her beauty in past tense- that has to feel awful.

Infidelity has so many different accelerants and I think current looks of one’s spouse is pretty far down on the list.
There is no sure fire way to affair-proof a marriage but keeping one’s self in reasonably good condition and health along with doing your best to meet your partners emotional needs is as good as we can get.

Former model here. I look at my own pictures from 20 years ago and make that comment! Give us a little credit. We don't ONLY have our looks as the basis of self confidence.

Living an interesting life, and being positive and kind, trump attractiveness *every* time. That's why people "affair down" in terms of looks; they go to someone who is welcoming, joyful, open, fun...

You can't affair-proof a marriage but you can affair-proof your life and sense of worth, and having genuine confidence is what will also reduce the risk of your partner looking elsewhere.

Plenty of beautiful people age beautifully and remain attractive to their partner for life. Anecdotally, we were recently out for drinks with another couple and DH (in 40s) commented on how stunning the 60 yo women is: she's still thin, fit, fashionable and has had an amazing, intellectual career. I can see how shallow marriages struggle, but that's not true for all couples who were physically attractive in their twenties. This 60 yo woman's husband would truly be a moron to let her get away, and I think he knew it.

I'm the PP you're responding to, and I totally agree. My mom is 75 and my dad still tells her often how beautiful she is (which she is). My point is that even if you DO lose your looks, you can still be attractive; magnetic, even.

[Anonymous]

I think it's harder for attractive people to make decisions on who to marry. They are usually bombarded with attention. It's hard to pick out the good from the bad.

I have a highly attractive girlfriend who has never made a good choice in dating. There were always too many men giving her attention. She is married to a first class jerk who puts her down every chance he gets. But he makes good money, so I guess it's okay?( even though she could have easily gotten a spouse with both money and character if she looked a little deeper).