Giving relationship advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of the hardest aspects of parenting adult children. Knowing when to butt in.

If you do it wrong, you can lose all access and influence.

For real. +1

[Anonymous]

Parents don't have absolute wisdom or crystal ball so its better not to meddle.

[Anonymous]

Controlling other adults is wrong even if you birthed and raised them, parents get two decades before they turned 21 so they get plenty of time to teach good values.

[Anonymous]

If you wouldn't speak up and say something to your best friend, without her asking, don't say it to your adult children.

[Anonymous]

Set a good example of a great relationship for them, actions speak louder than words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish my parents had given me relationship advice in a constructive way when I was in my early twenties and dating someone who was obviously wrong for me. I ended up in a starter marriage that cost me some of the best years of my and so much pain and emotional and financial damage. When I finally left, they said things alluding to the fact that they knew he lacked integrity from the beginning, etc, but at the time, neither of them offered me any advice at all. Just their 'unconditional love and support'. I am going to spend a lot of time talking to my kids about friendships, relationships and marriage and at the very least, help them understand what kind of qualities they should look for in a partner.

Own your mistakes girl. And stop shoulda woulda coulda your parents - even based on your attitude now - they probably knew - it’s not like you would have listened.

[Anonymous]

PP, the fact that you call it "a starter marriage", you weren't very mature. If you were that immature, your parents may not have been able to relate to you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but only in general terms, not about a specific person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my parents had given me relationship advice in a constructive way when I was in my early twenties and dating someone who was obviously wrong for me. I ended up in a starter marriage that cost me some of the best years of my and so much pain and emotional and financial damage. When I finally left, they said things alluding to the fact that they knew he lacked integrity from the beginning, etc, but at the time, neither of them offered me any advice at all. Just their 'unconditional love and support'. I am going to spend a lot of time talking to my kids about friendships, relationships and marriage and at the very least, help them understand what kind of qualities they should look for in a partner.

Own your mistakes girl. And stop shoulda woulda coulda your parents - even based on your attitude now - they probably knew - it’s not like you would have listened.

In the frame of mind you likely were, it’s more likely you would have pushed them away, not thank them for saving you from this. Come on.

[Anonymous]

You don't want possibility of anyone loosing a good relationship because of your meddling. They may never find something similar. Unless there is some sort of abuse, stay out.