When a man fails to look at a woman like she's super hot

[Anonymous]

A lot of critics think I wrote my original post poorly, so I'll try again and make the points simply, with no narrative.

I recently have started understanding that some women care greatly about how a man looks at them, and these women sometimes care almost as much about how men look at them as they care about whether a man can perform sexually or how skilled he is. Some women need to feel desired not just during sexual activity but before sexual activity begins, and these women sometimes pay very close attention to the way men look at them. An older woman I met recently talked about this with me during our first date, and other older women have alluded to it.

[Anonymous]

Uhh…yeah.

This is what rape fantasies are about. Women don’t actually fantasize about being raped. They fantasize about being so desirable that an otherwise normal man completely loses control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of critics think I wrote my original post poorly, so I'll try again and make the points simply, with no narrative.

I recently have started understanding that some women care greatly about how a man looks at them, and these women sometimes care almost as much about how men look at them as they care about whether a man can perform sexually or how skilled he is. Some women need to feel desired not just during sexual activity but before sexual activity begins, and these women sometimes pay very close attention to the way men look at them. An older woman I met recently talked about this with me during our first date, and other older women have alluded to it.

Actually, your heading set the tone of how most posters are reacting to you. Are you really this clueless and awkward IRL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of critics think I wrote my original post poorly, so I'll try again and make the points simply, with no narrative.

I recently have started understanding that some women care greatly about how a man looks at them, and these women sometimes care almost as much about how men look at them as they care about whether a man can perform sexually or how skilled he is. Some women need to feel desired not just during sexual activity but before sexual activity begins, and these women sometimes pay very close attention to the way men look at them. An older woman I met recently talked about this with me during our first date, and other older women have alluded to it.

Still not sure what your point is. That people - including women - even >gasp!< older women (!!!) - like to feel that someone they are interested in finds them desirable? Is that it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man dating in middle age. I'm starting to become aware of a really important part of sexuality for many women. A lot of women really crave a certain type of male gaze. I never really understood this sexual need before, and I think my obliviousness to it may have hurt some of my prior relationships. Now I'm noticing that a lot of women really study how I look at them. Some women even comment on it. Some seem really disappointed if I don't look at them the right way or they get really self conscious.

I decided to post about this after a recent conversation with a woman who's in her 60s, more than a decade older than I am. She wears too much makeup but she's nice looking, she has great legs, and she's very high energy and charismatic. I think she's also a little thick around the middle but she wears clothes that conceal this pretty well. At an embarrassingly early point in our first date, she made a big point of telling me that she still really loves having sex. (I'm getting used to women making statements like that, though, since several over the age of 55 have said this to me during first dates and every single woman over the age of 60 has said it to me.) I'm definitely capable of being attracted to women over 60, depending on the woman, but I don't limit myself to women in their 50s and 60s. I've also gone out with women more than 20 years younger. This 60-something woman asked me a bunch of very pointed questions about the ages of the women I've been meeting and she was a little upset by my answers. She said she's often approached by younger men but she hadn't gone any dates with men under the age of 60 in years, other than me, because she couldn't bear the thought of seeing a disappointed look on the face of a younger man when she took off her clothes. She said 70 year old men are always thrilled to see her naked, but she was worried that men in their 50s would not be impressed. As she was saying all of this, she was pantomiming her removing her clothes with her hands and outlining her curves. Watching and listening to her was a really strange experience. I guess I looked attentive enough because she's trying to schedule another date.

For a middle aged man, you say a lot. Can't follow so many words. What's your point?

[Anonymous]

ALL women want to feel sexually desired by their sexual partners. This is not something new or something only older women want.

[Anonymous]

When someone seems super turned on by you,
it is a super turn on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very weird attempt at attention-seeking and humble bragging.

Yup.

Yup x 2.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at “she is thick around the middle”. Leave women alone.

[Anonymous]

Man here. Of course you're going to get criticism here, especially when you mentioned you had a date with a younger woman -- that can really trigger some people on here.

You sound a bit socially awkward or maybe it's just inexperience in dating. Also I can understand why you'd feel uncomfortable "eyeing" a woman like that even if they may want it. There are other ways to show her you think she's pretty. You can say it instead of using your eyes, and that will be just as effective. Doesn't have to be direct, it can be like "That blouse looks lovely on you." or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ALL women want to feel sexually desired by their sexual partners. This is not something new or something only older women want.

I'd say all people, men and women, want to feel desired by their partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure this is the same odd guy who was posting a week or two ago about how large his penis is and got his feelings hurt when he was called out on it.

Hello friend. I'm not sure which post you mean from a week or two ago, but, unfortunately, it could not possibly have been written by me.

I mean this post cut and pasted below. The writing style is almost identical. In that thread, which you started, you found an old post from 2015 about how a condom breaks and then used that topic to describe yourself as "thick and above average in length" which seemed to me to be a randomly obscure way to discuss what seemed to be on your mind. Then you edited your post and deleted most of it. My opinion is, friend, that you are slowly figuring out how DCUM works and so now you are posting anonymously and not quite so graphically about your own anatomy. Since it is anonymous you can deny you are that guy and maybe you aren't. It would be odd, though, if there were two guys in your age range suddenly appearing to discuss dating and sexuality among older people at about the same time and with the same writing style.

From Aug 6:

Sroberts2269 wrote:
Not sure how this older post popped up on me. But I have to comment anyway.
In my mid 50s now. Since I started with condoms, the majority of the time they would break or slip off. I’m a bit thick and above average in length. Most times after ejaculating in the condom I’d forget and keep going, still to 2nd time easily. But so much comes out in the condom it easily slid off. Had so many scary experiences thinking she would get pregnant when we weren’t ready. If it didn’t slide off, and if I didn’t use the XL condoms, the always broke dir8ng and before ejaculating and after filling it up and any movement broke them.

[Anonymous]

What? Everyone likes to be looked that way as long as the admirer isn't a creepy stalker.

https://youtu.be/v4OHMgUOMx8

[Anonymous]

She wants to know if you’re down, she absolutely is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man dating in middle age. I'm starting to become aware of a really important part of sexuality for many women. A lot of women really crave a certain type of male gaze. I never really understood this sexual need before, and I think my obliviousness to it may have hurt some of my prior relationships. Now I'm noticing that a lot of women really study how I look at them. Some women even comment on it. Some seem really disappointed if I don't look at them the right way or they get really self conscious.

I decided to post about this after a recent conversation with a woman who's in her 60s, more than a decade older than I am. She wears too much makeup but she's nice looking, she has great legs, and she's very high energy and charismatic. I think she's also a little thick around the middle but she wears clothes that conceal this pretty well. At an embarrassingly early point in our first date, she made a big point of telling me that she still really loves having sex. (I'm getting used to women making statements like that, though, since several over the age of 55 have said this to me during first dates and every single woman over the age of 60 has said it to me.) I'm definitely capable of being attracted to women over 60, depending on the woman, but I don't limit myself to women in their 50s and 60s. I've also gone out with women more than 20 years younger. This 60-something woman asked me a bunch of very pointed questions about the ages of the women I've been meeting and she was a little upset by my answers. She said she's often approached by younger men but she hadn't gone any dates with men under the age of 60 in years, other than me, because she couldn't bear the thought of seeing a disappointed look on the face of a younger man when she took off her clothes. She said 70 year old men are always thrilled to see her naked, but she was worried that men in their 50s would not be impressed. As she was saying all of this, she was pantomiming her removing her clothes with her hands and outlining her curves. Watching and listening to her was a really strange experience. I guess I looked attentive enough because she's trying to schedule another date.

For a middle aged man, you say a lot. Can't follow so many words. What's your point?

Not the OP but, what is your point. Are men supposed to write fewer words as they get older?