How do people "upgrade" houses?

[Anonymous]

You are conflating 2 separate issues.

#1 - Your income. It's always good to consider higher paying roles, so sure do that.

#2 - Embarrassed to have people over. Why??? Small space is not embarrassing in itself. We were in 800 square feet, and people loved to come over. Decorate your place nice, offer amazing food and a variety of beverages. Laugh. People remember the food and conversation and laughs, not the size of your family room.

[Anonymous]

I always liked townhouses. I would not worry a bit about upgrading unless you truly want to.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t be embarrassed. People just like to be invited over.

[Anonymous]

If you want a bigger, nicer house, but can't afford it in your area, then you have to move further out. Don't sacrifice retirement or college savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in a townhouse I always thought would be a starter. It's not horrible but it is very small and there is basically zero outdoor space. All of our friends are in SFHs by now and I particularly envy their backyards and bike storage. We'd planned on upgrading eventually, but it's been kind of horrifying to see prices rise by a couple hundred thousand in the last two years while our incomes definitely have not.

We have a combined HHI of $160k and we are in fields where we probably can't get giant raises (government and academia), so I feel like our options are:
1. Live with this forever and be embarrassed to have people over
2. Redirect some of our retirement/college savings to a new down payment fund, or just plan on saving less and having a larger mortgage payment if/when rates go down someday and we have more equity? Right now we are saving 35% of our income for retirement.
3. Figure out how to pivot to tech in...middle age...and double salaries?

4) Stay in the TH. There is nothing wrong with staying. No need to be embarrassed. Then, you have more money for travel and other things.

[Anonymous]

We sold our smaller house and used the equity as a down payment. Our mortgage went up $1k per month and we are in a 30 year; before we were in a 15 year mortgage.

[Anonymous]

I would 1) not be embarrassed and 2) go all in on making the townhouse work for you. So identify the bike storage solution that really works well (cool covered shed? streamlined hanging system?) even if it costs more than you would normally spend and really make your backyard space a haven. I lived in city apartments/townhouses with tiny backyards and I loved to make them really gorgeous and do all the tricks to create a deeper sense of space and retreat (there's so many on-line inspiring resources for this) with a great seating area. In fact when we moved to our first SFH I kind of missed all the cool things you can do with a more contained smaller backyard. It's way too expensive to do that kind of dense, lush landscaping in a traditional suburban yard.

[Anonymous]

Either transition to a different field or just adjust your mindset. Nothing is wrong with your townhouse. Make improvements to the interior, if you want. Btw- Yards are overrated.

[Anonymous]

If you're embarrassed that's a decorating problem. Even if you dislike your backyard, that's not really a money problem. Sure you could throw 50k into decks and fences, but you don't need to. I've seen some wonderful townhouse backyards that don't even have decks. Maintain your yard. Learn how to make a patio yourself with pavers or flagstones. Youtube is great!

[Anonymous]

We bought our small starter home 20+ years ago and we are still here. There are times I wish we had a larger home- mostly when entertaining or when kids have friends over. That said, the house has served us well and while we could have bought more home, as most know homes are expensive. They’re expensive not just to buy, but to maintain. More house = more maintenance and larger tax bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought our small starter home 20+ years ago and we are still here. There are times I wish we had a larger home- mostly when entertaining or when kids have friends over. That said, the house has served us well and while we could have bought more home, as most know homes are expensive. They’re expensive not just to buy, but to maintain. More house = more maintenance and larger tax bill.

+1 We've come to realize this about our starter home too. We are so much wealthier than we would be if we traded up. Yes homes appreciate, but we were able to invest surplus in our investment accounts. If we had the transaction costs of buying, selling, moving, refurnishing and then the general increased costs of owning a larger more expensive home we would be far worse off.

[Anonymous]

Prior to buying our first house, we saved up a down payment. After buying a house, our kids transitioned from daycare to preschool and then to elementary. The difference between daycare and elementary extended day care is $2k/mo.

We saved like we were still saving for a down payment including any bonuses or family gifts. House prices went up, but so did the amount we sold our house for. We were able to pay the difference between houses with 5 years of savings and keep our mortgage the same.

We lucked out because we did this in 2021 when rates were very low. But we also “bought high” for that first house because we were not ready to buy in 2009-10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t be embarrassed. People just like to be invited over.

This. Get over being embarrassed. Perhaps upgrade your decor and furniture to make a warm and beautiful space. People all over the world live and entertain in small dwellings.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others about not being embarrassed. But also, two govt salaries can bring in over 300k. You should look into how you can increase your income if it’s important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t be embarrassed. People just like to be invited over.

This. Be a person who socializes, reciprocates, is welcoming and a good host. We do not care how small your house is as long as it is fairly clean and hygienic.

No one wants to go to a hoarder's house. If you can declutter and downsize, your TH will be better than many SFHs.