I'm always left out of the conversation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God. Quit whining

+1. Be thankful you have a spouse who has common ground with your family.

No, I won't.

I'm depressed, lonely, and want to be acknowledged, even if I'm a disappointment. I don't think that's too much to ask.

You are NOT a disappointment and their happiness is talking about a common interest does not indicate that they think that of you.

I agree with the others that this isn’t about their conversation but about what is going on with you. I truly hope that you consider therapy and are able to pull out of your depression. It’s so hard to see things as they are when your perspective is skewed by deep sadness. Good luck, OP!!

I my case (not OP) it is my family. I am much less depressed when I try to see them as little as possible. Yes, I have been to therapy and this was the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God. Quit whining

+1. Be thankful you have a spouse who has common ground with your family.

No, I won't.

I'm depressed, lonely, and want to be acknowledged, even if I'm a disappointment. I don't think that's too much to ask.

You are NOT a disappointment and their happiness is talking about a common interest does not indicate that they think that of you.

I agree with the others that this isn’t about their conversation but about what is going on with you. I truly hope that you consider therapy and are able to pull out of your depression. It’s so hard to see things as they are when your perspective is skewed by deep sadness. Good luck, OP!!

I my case (not OP) it is my family. I am much less depressed when I try to see them as little as possible. Yes, I have been to therapy and this was the outcome.

I assume OP meant clinical depression (maybe that’s not the case) and in this case she is referring to both her nuclear family and spouse.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. That must be a terrible feeling. I can’t imagine you’re a disappointment to them; if you are, that speaks only to their limitations, because it sounds like you are accomplished in your own right. Perhaps they don’t know how to otherwise connect, and talking about work is easy (and not an uncommon thing).

[Anonymous]

Just to add - I imagine feeling “like a lump” is familiar from your childhood, and perhaps why it affects you so. When you think about it, is this how you felt growing up too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to add - I imagine feeling “like a lump” is familiar from your childhood, and perhaps why it affects you so. When you think about it, is this how you felt growing up too?

Meant - feeling unseen and unheard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God. Quit whining

And a military member chimes in . .

[Anonymous]

You need to change your attitude and start becoming interested in your family’s work. You’re a military family! It doesn’t mean you don’t have your own identity, but your perspective is off and you seem overly sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God. Quit whining

+1. Be thankful you have a spouse who has common ground with your family.

No, I won't.

I'm depressed, lonely, and want to be acknowledged, even if I'm a disappointment. I don't think that's too much to ask.

You grew up with a military family so you should be have no difficulty in joining the conversation. You are your problem.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’m just in the thick of little kids but I can’t imagine having time to just talk to relatives like this. I’m always running around, putting kids to bed, reading to them, baths… staying with family is more work than being home and I’m just exhausted.

I’d pipe up and say you want to talk about something other than the military. Or bring an adult game to play. Tell your husband ahead of time not to talk about military.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked to your DH about this? That’s where I’d start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God. Quit whining

Look! OP’s family is here.

[Anonymous]

It looks like your family has no other interests if that’s all they talk about? Can you suggest some activity?

[Anonymous]

Why do you just sit on the couch like a lump, OP? My fiancé is a Navy Veteran, and I could not join the military for health reasons. We have fascinating conversations. I am always learning, and I am curious about everything. I can carry on a conversation with anyone about anything. Your world is as small or as big as you decide to make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Ok ok enough shop talk. Who saw that great show about XYZ on netflix last month?"

You can't pout about it. Make a joke, steer them away. I am sure the rest of them do actually have things outside of their careers to discuss.

This or just get up and consider it time to watch your own show or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to change your attitude and start becoming interested in your family’s work. You’re a military family! It doesn’t mean you don’t have your own identity, but your perspective is off and you seem overly sensitive.

WHAT! This is nuts.

YOU are overly insensitive and you’re mean and have an ugly soul.

Discuss.