Driving 3 to 7… how are you handling it?

[Anonymous]

I work for crap pay at their school. (And I used to be a SAHM.) I do this for a variety of reasons (like having the same breaks as them) but the after school driving and dinner crunch is part too.

[Anonymous]

We moved to the city. The kids use the subway.

[Anonymous]

I have come to terms and decided to accept it. I don’t work so I have the time, but it is exhausting, especially when you try to cook dinner. I have two kids, 12 and 15. One does soccer and the other does dance, plus their various other commitments and social life. I live in a non walkable area so kids must be driven everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. You are all impressive, devoted parents.

I don't work, so I'm free to drive my kids about, but there's no way I'm spending the afternoon in the car every day. There is a limit to the number of activities they pack in, just for everyone's sanity, and the planet (even in an electric car, that's a whole lot of pollution).

Um....how old are your kids? This is exactly what I thought when my kids were in elementary school. Now that they are in HS, parenting has a different set of expectations. And my kids do the bare minimum and take a bus to and from school.

[Anonymous]

Public bus and metro. the DMV has excellent public transportation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. You are all impressive, devoted parents.

I don't work, so I'm free to drive my kids about, but there's no way I'm spending the afternoon in the car every day. There is a limit to the number of activities they pack in, just for everyone's sanity, and the planet (even in an electric car, that's a whole lot of pollution).

Um....how old are your kids? This is exactly what I thought when my kids were in elementary school. Now that they are in HS, parenting has a different set of expectations. And my kids do the bare minimum and take a bus to and from school.

Same. I thought it too and then came high school. Would you tell them they can’t join the high school sports team? Practices have been at random times all of August, during the workday or evening. Preseason practice was in June and July. No, he can’t bike there with all of the equipment and it’s far. It will be easier once school starts and we only have to pick up since practice is after school.

It complicates things because I still have a child in elementary who plays rec sports. This means 1-2 practices in the evening and a game. That’s not over scheduled but it can seem like a lot of driving to drop off at the field or gym, go to the HS to pick up, go back to the field of gym to pick up. I can’t put the younger one in an Uber yet. We really try to carpool and all of us are counting the days until my oldest can drive.

[Anonymous]

I we flexed our hours since we don't live someplace with public transportation. I now work 7a-3:30p so I am home by 4:30 to drive to/from activities. DH WFH 7:30a-4p. We also found other parents to share carpools with. It is a struggle - especially when my kids didn't have a school bus for 3 consecutive months last year due to driver shortages. That nearly killed us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be an after school nanny and I basically lived in the car. Hire someone and pay them well. I did it for 3 years in college and made good money.

+1

[Anonymous]

DH and I both work but with some flexibility in our schedule and we definitely fully embrace carpooling with other families. Yes, it’s a lot. Yes, it’s a ton of time in the car. But for activities that are local and meaningful to my kids I will gladly do it. My older one is off at college now and I feel a little bit wistful about all those trips back-and-forth to theater rehearsal etc. Dinner can be tricky and there’s a fair amount of winging it, but we figure it out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. You are all impressive, devoted parents.

I don't work, so I'm free to drive my kids about, but there's no way I'm spending the afternoon in the car every day. There is a limit to the number of activities they pack in, just for everyone's sanity, and the planet (even in an electric car, that's a whole lot of pollution).

Do your kids do any sports or activites? If not, that is just lazy on your part. Don't give pollution as an excuse for your laziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. You are all impressive, devoted parents.

I don't work, so I'm free to drive my kids about, but there's no way I'm spending the afternoon in the car every day. There is a limit to the number of activities they pack in, just for everyone's sanity, and the planet (even in an electric car, that's a whole lot of pollution).

Um....how old are your kids? This is exactly what I thought when my kids were in elementary school. Now that they are in HS, parenting has a different set of expectations. And my kids do the bare minimum and take a bus to and from school.

Same. I thought it too and then came high school. Would you tell them they can’t join the high school sports team? Practices have been at random times all of August, during the workday or evening. Preseason practice was in June and July. No, he can’t bike there with all of the equipment and it’s far. It will be easier once school starts and we only have to pick up since practice is after school.

It complicates things because I still have a child in elementary who plays rec sports. This means 1-2 practices in the evening and a game. That’s not over scheduled but it can seem like a lot of driving to drop off at the field or gym, go to the HS to pick up, go back to the field of gym to pick up. I can’t put the younger one in an Uber yet. We really try to carpool and all of us are counting the days until my oldest can drive.

Yup, it’s exactly this. 4-5 days a week of back and forth, back and forth, back and forth driving from 3-7pm, and often later. Where I live everything seems 15 min away (6-7 miles), which doesn’t seem like a lot, but damn it adds up. Plus, no buses where I live. (Outside of DMV)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of the many joys of walkability. The kids walk, bike or metro.

Great. Clearly this helps OP. Glad you gave your input.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 12 to 16 and there are so many places they need to be after school and camp—the driving is killing us! How do other people handle it? Before the pandemic we had a nanny but she quit and I’m now sure we can find a nanny for a bunch of teenagers for 3-7 at night. We carpool when we can but it’s still a lot.

We live in Loudoun. The activities for older kids here never start before 5:30 and often 6 or later (because they get out of school last, not first), so its not that hard for working parents. Dinner on the other hand is another story, but you didn't ask about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. You are all impressive, devoted parents.

I don't work, so I'm free to drive my kids about, but there's no way I'm spending the afternoon in the car every day. There is a limit to the number of activities they pack in, just for everyone's sanity, and the planet (even in an electric car, that's a whole lot of pollution).

Do your kids do any sports or activites? If not, that is just lazy on your part. Don't give pollution as an excuse for your laziness.

This. I’m guessing your kids are young. Once kids get older, there is a lot of driving:

Work
Meeting friends
Football game
Mall
Sports
Band
After school clubs
Practices, games, etc.

[Anonymous]

High school age - kids had to transition to sports and clubs at school and they were fine with that. They just stayed at school. It's a 2.5 mile walk home or they could get a late bus that would bring them to a stop that was 1.5 miles from home.

By 16, they had friends who could drive and they started getting rides with those kids.