Sahm to wfh?

[Anonymous]

What do you currently do between 9 to 5 (or whatever the work hours are)? Those things now need to be done at another time, possibly by another person. I WFH full time with a 9 yo who loves to read but we still use childcare, camps, etc., DH and I take turns with dinner and dishes and bedtime, all errands happen on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always worked from home even pre-Covid and could not have managed without a nanny. When they were little, it was a given but even after school age, they were still out at 2. And then the countless sick days and holidays. To be productive and successful at my job, I have to devote the business hours to work so I needed nanny to pick up the kids, take them to activities or the park, handle the kids laundry and food preparation as well as grocery shopping and the kids errands (mostly buying birthday gifts for the countless weekend parties). There is no way I could do it all.

Oh my gosh, yes holidays, and all of those full days off of school for random things.

Shoot. It's like if you go back to work you have to outsource some of what you provided being a sahm. Ugh, the mental load.

Lol the mental load…. If you can’t juggle the logistics, you probably should just stay SAHM… It’s not the location nor the logistics that will be the big leap, it’s the firing up of business contextual skills and grey matter neurons that you haven’t called upon in a while…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always worked from home even pre-Covid and could not have managed without a nanny. When they were little, it was a given but even after school age, they were still out at 2. And then the countless sick days and holidays. To be productive and successful at my job, I have to devote the business hours to work so I needed nanny to pick up the kids, take them to activities or the park, handle the kids laundry and food preparation as well as grocery shopping and the kids errands (mostly buying birthday gifts for the countless weekend parties). There is no way I could do it all.

Oh my gosh, yes holidays, and all of those full days off of school for random things.

Shoot. It's like if you go back to work you have to outsource some of what you provided being a sahm. Ugh, the mental load.

Lol the mental load…. If you can’t juggle the logistics, you probably should just stay SAHM… It’s not the location nor the logistics that will be the big leap, it’s the firing up of business contextual skills and grey matter neurons that you haven’t called upon in a while…

+1. It’s not a “mental load” it’s called being an adult. And most people do it as a matter of course because that is what working parents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you need childcare. Will you be getting childcare?

Why do you need childcare for 2 hours after school? Can't they do hw, chores, relax, snack, etc.. while you are at home working?

Where did op say her kids are in school? They could be three for all we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always worked from home even pre-Covid and could not have managed without a nanny. When they were little, it was a given but even after school age, they were still out at 2. And then the countless sick days and holidays. To be productive and successful at my job, I have to devote the business hours to work so I needed nanny to pick up the kids, take them to activities or the park, handle the kids laundry and food preparation as well as grocery shopping and the kids errands (mostly buying birthday gifts for the countless weekend parties). There is no way I could do it all.

Oh my gosh, yes holidays, and all of those full days off of school for random things.

Shoot. It's like if you go back to work you have to outsource some of what you provided being a sahm. Ugh, the mental load.

Lol the mental load…. If you can’t juggle the logistics, you probably should just stay SAHM… It’s not the location nor the logistics that will be the big leap, it’s the firing up of business contextual skills and grey matter neurons that you haven’t called upon in a while…

+1. It’s not a “mental load” it’s called being an adult. And most people do it as a matter of course because that is what working parents do.

You probably don't have the patience or aptitude to properly watch kids all day. Keep feeling superior working parent...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always worked from home even pre-Covid and could not have managed without a nanny. When they were little, it was a given but even after school age, they were still out at 2. And then the countless sick days and holidays. To be productive and successful at my job, I have to devote the business hours to work so I needed nanny to pick up the kids, take them to activities or the park, handle the kids laundry and food preparation as well as grocery shopping and the kids errands (mostly buying birthday gifts for the countless weekend parties). There is no way I could do it all.

Oh my gosh, yes holidays, and all of those full days off of school for random things.

Shoot. It's like if you go back to work you have to outsource some of what you provided being a sahm. Ugh, the mental load.

Lol the mental load…. If you can’t juggle the logistics, you probably should just stay SAHM… It’s not the location nor the logistics that will be the big leap, it’s the firing up of business contextual skills and grey matter neurons that you haven’t called upon in a while…

+1. It’s not a “mental load” it’s called being an adult. And most people do it as a matter of course because that is what working parents do.

DP here. I don’t know if I “can’t” handle the mental load or just don’t want to, but this is the reason I decided just to take a PT job at the school that gets all the holidays and snow days and summers off. Pay sucks but I enjoy it and I can still do my chores and errands during the week and have summers off. The additional income was not worth it to me.

[Anonymous]

I never SAH but I’ve been fully remote since kids were 10 and 13. I’m a manager and I have a fairly intense job, though not one that requires a lot of over time. The kids can be distracting and when they are home (during the first year of Covid and during school breaks) I do still parent some (and make occasional lunches!) on the clock. But mostly they know when I need to be left alone and it’s been fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you need childcare. Will you be getting childcare?

Why do you need childcare for 2 hours after school? Can't they do hw, chores, relax, snack, etc.. while you are at home working?

So you would keep your door closed and not acknowledge your kids when they got home until after your workday was over?

You can wfh and take a break to say hello to your children. One does not preclude the other.

But that is where the creep happens. Coming out to say hi can quickly turn into 30 minutes of helping to unpack backpacks, fix snacks and go over what homework has to be done. And then even after you return to your desk, the lack of a hard boundary means the kids will pop in here and there through the rest of the afternoon to ask for something, tell you about something that just happened, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you need childcare. Will you be getting childcare?

Why do you need childcare for 2 hours after school? Can't they do hw, chores, relax, snack, etc.. while you are at home working?

…this is such an amazingly gendered question. Why don’t children routinely get dropped off at their father’s workplace after school? They can just have snack/relax/do homework in his office right?

[Anonymous]

i just started WFM, remote, but part time and very flexible.

DS is 4, transitioning from daycare to PK4. just the one.

i had a really intense job prior to my change, that really didnt work, saw that i really needed a nanny. but i am a gov employee and congress salaries really dont pay enough to justify a nanny.

so i changed my job. part time. fully remote. waaayyy less intense. will see how it goes! im planning to be there for the drop offs and pick up, cover the sick days, and we have a backup care plan for the school holidays.

its important to have some type of childcare. i dont think its reasonable to think one can WFH with a full time job and no childcare. Im trying to WFM with a p/t job and use school & back up services as my childcare. will let you know how it goes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you need childcare. Will you be getting childcare?

Why do you need childcare for 2 hours after school? Can't they do hw, chores, relax, snack, etc.. while you are at home working?

…this is such an amazingly gendered question. Why don’t children routinely get dropped off at their father’s workplace after school? They can just have snack/relax/do homework in his office right?

Exactly. And women wonder why they are passed over…

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you need childcare. Will you be getting childcare?

Why do you need childcare for 2 hours after school? Can't they do hw, chores, relax, snack, etc.. while you are at home working?

…this is such an amazingly gendered question. Why don’t children routinely get dropped off at their father’s workplace after school? They can just have snack/relax/do homework in his office right?

I don’t think it’s gendered at all. The question would be the same if it was dad working from home. It’s relates to the age and self-sufficiency of the kids, not the gender of the parent whose workplace happens to coincide with the kids’ home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the kids.

Older kids, no activities, walkable from school or bus, walkable to friends, can entertain themselves and do homework independently. Sure.

Typical 6 yo needing help, snacks, loud, playing sports, wants a play date. Might need help.

I have a 5 year old and would be comfortable with a quick pick up at the bus stop and then 2 hours of TV / playroom time before I log off the computer at 4:30-5 PM. But I’m very strict with my kids and know how to get them to let me work. I wouldn’t allow interruptions of my work. It’s only 2 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the kids.

Older kids, no activities, walkable from school or bus, walkable to friends, can entertain themselves and do homework independently. Sure.

Typical 6 yo needing help, snacks, loud, playing sports, wants a play date. Might need help.

I have a 5 year old and would be comfortable with a quick pick up at the bus stop and then 2 hours of TV / playroom time before I log off the computer at 4:30-5 PM. But I’m very strict with my kids and know how to get them to let me work. I wouldn’t allow interruptions of my work. It’s only 2 hours.

Nice, doesn't seem like a bad set up for a parent to be able to WFH.