grandparents continue to ply DS with sugar after I tell them no

[Anonymous]

I'm a firm believer in grandparents following parents' rules for their kids. If your parents don't follow those rules then you shouldn't leave your kid with them unsupervised - even though your rules are unreasonable and aren't effective in preventing diabetes or cavities.

My DH is a Type 2 diabetic and my maternal uncle is a Type 2 (related to his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam). We don't limit sugar in our kids' diets because of fear of diabetes, sugar has nothing to do with developing diabetes. We, instead, focus on healthy eating which CAN include sugar/sweets in moderation.

If you DD has already had 2 cavities, I wouldn't look to sugar as the problem. She may have poor oral hygiene or she may have thin enamel on her teeth. My DD (now 17) has thin enamel. She was more prone to cavities because of it and she couldn't have metal braces because the orthodontist was concerned about damaging the enamel. She did Invisalign. You should check with your dentist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a firm believer in grandparents following parents' rules for their kids. If your parents don't follow those rules then you shouldn't leave your kid with them unsupervised - even though your rules are unreasonable and aren't effective in preventing diabetes or cavities.

My DH is a Type 2 diabetic and my maternal uncle is a Type 2 (related to his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam). We don't limit sugar in our kids' diets because of fear of diabetes, sugar has nothing to do with developing diabetes. We, instead, focus on healthy eating which CAN include sugar/sweets in moderation.

If you DD has already had 2 cavities, I wouldn't look to sugar as the problem. She may have poor oral hygiene or she may have thin enamel on her teeth. My DD (now 17) has thin enamel. She was more prone to cavities because of it and she couldn't have metal braces because the orthodontist was concerned about damaging the enamel. She did Invisalign. You should check with your dentist.

I agree with this poster. I think your rules are silly but the grandparents should respect them.

Also, I had regular cavities as a child. My dentist finally decided it was probably due to have peanut butter for lunch every day -- no sugar added but it's sticky and catches between the teeth. Solution: bring toothbrush to school and brush after lunch (I wasn't great about it because I was an idiot tween but that's a different problem).

[Anonymous]

How often do your kids spend time with their grandparents? If it’s every few weeks or months, I would let it go. If they are local, it is more of an issue. We had this issue. Grandparents would bring lots of sweets, bake cakes, etc. They are local so it’s an ongoing issue. What has helped is we are really up front with them. If they bring cake, we all have a piece, enjoy, and then send it back with them and let them know that it will go to waste if they leave it. With candy, we just throw it out. When they ask, we let them know that. They have reduced what they give the kids by a lot because they see that it’s getting thrown out.

I know this sounds rude. But this is after trying other gentler methods for a long time. We otherwise have a good relationship with the grandparents. We do allow them to give some treats because they do view their grandparent role as being fun and not parenting the kids. It is what it is and the kids do value their relationship so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sugar isn’t going to give them diabetes or cavities so what’s the problem?

For someone who is supposedly worried about these things, OP doesn't seem to have done much research about causes and prevention.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to lighten up. The grandparents are doing their job as grandparents, which is to spoil the kids. A few sweets isn't going to kill them, unless they're with the kids all the time.

It's interesting that despite being asked several times, OP won't say how often the kids are actually with the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Grandparents should follow the parents' rules. Full stop. The parents, NOT the grandparents, know their kids' health best.

[Anonymous]

OP if your kids are sneaking it sounds like you have a very strict policy at home. Honestly if you continue to not allow your child to indulge on occasion they are going to continue to grow up with an unhealthy obsession of sweets/treats.

Grandparents are a whole separate issue. Yes, they should follow what you've said, but you are also being a little unrealistic. Although if your children are already sneaking candy most likely they are talking the grandparents into getting more treats for them.

FWIW we've never really restricted candy/treats. DD has dessert 5ish times a week and otherwise eats healthy. She brushes okay, not the best but decent enough. No cavities or spots (she's 10). She also doesn't sneak anything because we do everything in moderation. There isn't limiting or excluding of anything (well, maybe some highly processed crap but she's rather eat my cooking anyways lol).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sugar isn’t going to give them diabetes or cavities so what’s the problem?

For someone who is supposedly worried about these things, OP doesn't seem to have done much research about causes and prevention.

+1
This post actually pisses me off. T1D, the kind that requires the insulin OP is convinced she'll have to inject her 10-year-old with (which, WTH....), is not caused by eating sugar FFS. Such terrible misinformation that just perpetuates the myth that people with an autoimmune disease are somehow responsible for it. Jerk.

[Anonymous]

You are off your rocker op, and I say that with the best intention.
They took your kid for ice cream? And gave him some candy?
Yep, your kid is so much better off with a freak control mom like you at 10!!! than with with his gave him a bit of candy grandparents.
Welcome, eating disorder coming your kid's way in 3-5 years.
Must've been two pieces of candy grandparents gave him that caused cavities, cause his loving parents are just so awesome at creating food and health disorders!

[Anonymous]

My FIL does this but lives locally. My DD is also 10. He is retired and has offered to be our childcare ( twice a week for 3 hours) but I’ve said no and this is one of the reasons. Aside from that I let him be a Grandparent. He spoils her about twice a month and I have to let it go although it annoys me. If your parents only see DD occasionally I would try and let it go. You are going to cause an unnecessary rift. If he otherwise eats healthy “ most” of the time, it will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents should follow the parents' rules. Full stop. The parents, NOT the grandparents, know their kids' health best.

Clearly not in this case. OP believes that sugar if she regulates sugar consumption, her kids won't get diabetes or cavities. That is incorrect. My DH developed T2D at age 33. He was eating a low carb diet and was fit/healthy. We weren't surprised because we recognized the inheritability of T2D. He is of Hispanic descent and his mother, uncle, grandmother and 2 cousins also had T2D. He's now 56 and his diabetes is well controlled with medication. He has no problem joining us for ice cream when my parents visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sugar isn’t going to give them diabetes or cavities so what’s the problem?

WHAT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if your kids are sneaking it sounds like you have a very strict policy at home. Honestly if you continue to not allow your child to indulge on occasion they are going to continue to grow up with an unhealthy obsession of sweets/treats.

Grandparents are a whole separate issue. Yes, they should follow what you've said, but you are also being a little unrealistic. Although if your children are already sneaking candy most likely they are talking the grandparents into getting more treats for them.

FWIW we've never really restricted candy/treats. DD has dessert 5ish times a week and otherwise eats healthy. She brushes okay, not the best but decent enough. No cavities or spots (she's 10). She also doesn't sneak anything because we do everything in moderation. There isn't limiting or excluding of anything (well, maybe some highly processed crap but she's rather eat my cooking anyways lol).

Agree with this. Your controlling behavior of food is going to give your kids issues. Admittedly they are already sneaking sweets. Do you have an eating disorder OP?

[Anonymous]

PP . I was too quick to post.

Although sugar does not directly cause diabetes, it can lead to sugar inflammation and create insulin resistance in the body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cavities have nothing to do with sugar so don’t let that worry you. Teach your kids to brush their teeth well and you should be fine.

My son's cavities are exacerbated to a large degree by sugar. He has weak enamel (high fever as a baby caused the enamel on several adult teeth to form improperly) and so the sugar definitely causes harm to his teeth.

Sugar is not the singular cause of cavities, but it isn't good for your teeth.