Eating out as a family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? It shouldn't be this stressful. I totally recommend going out occasionally, as I think it helps set good habits and expectations. But trust me -- no one else is thinking about how you get up to leave.

Here are a couple of strategies:

1.) You can look at the menu online ahead of time. If you don't want to make the kids choose too far ahead, you could narrow it down to a couple of possibilities.

2.) You can model ordering politely.

3.) You can pick casual-ish places, or places with outdoor seating.

4.) Keep your rules to a minimum. Don't let them run around or make a gratuitous mess, but they don't have to be perfect.

If it goes really badly for your family, just try again in six months.

This. But order for the kids and bring books or toys to entertain them. Or, get carry out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a lot more fun now that my kids are teens/tweens and interested in food.

It was a nightmare until my most difficult kid started being less difficult (age 13 or so). We never went out.

OP, this is an outlier.

[Anonymous]

3 and 4 are really weird hangups you have. Getting up to leave is not awkward. And nobody's paying attention to your posture except you.

Bypass Problem 1 by checking the menu online ahead of time.

I let my kids complain about something once - if it's fixable we fix, otherwise we acknowledge their complaint and they know the family rule they are not allowed to complain about the same thing more than once. Your food is cold? Next time you won't screw around arguing with your brother for ten minutes after your food is put down in front of you. Better luck next time. You ordered A but got served C? We'll flag down the waitstaff and let them know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Point 3 & 4 are just weird.

Yes. If these are really concerns, this is about you, OP, and unlikely to get better on its own. Therapy may be in order.

[Anonymous]

Most places have menus online. If ordering in real time is a problem, have everyone make their selections before you get to the restaurant. Once there, break out notepads and crayons or some other quiet activity.

Some restaurants are cold. Take jackets.

Posture? Are they laying down, standing in chairs, leaning over into the next booth? If they’re just slouching, who cares. Restaurant seating may have height issues for kids. I’d let it go.

What’s awkward about leaving? If you’re removing an unruly child from the table until they can behave, other diners will be grateful. Leaving the table at the end of the dinner, rather than lingering, is appreciated by the wait staff who want to clear the table for the next patrons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going out to eat as a family....does it get better or more fun?

Here is what happens for me....

1. If it's a place we have never been to it's stressful ordering with all the choices including figuring out what the kids want in real time.
2. When we are sitting there eating, one of my kids will either display a bad attitude, complain it's too cold or something else that adds another slight stress.
3. I'm always concerned about body posture when eating out and that the kids are not staring around at everyone.
4. Lastly, getting up to leave feels awkward.

Does it get better?

Very strange hangups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Aristocrats!

lol!!! OMG! This made me guffaw. Well done!

[Anonymous]

Unless your children are throwing food and acting like hellions, no one is paying attention to your family. Relax and enjoy yourself!

[Anonymous]

?

I have social anxiety but never worried about eating out with little kids. I just kept our table as clean as possible, picked stuff up, controlled noise, and was very nice to the server.

It's not rocket science, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Aristocrats!

lol!!! OMG! This made me guffaw. Well done!

That’s what makes it all worthwhile, little morsels of affirmation from strangers. Thank you for your service.

[Anonymous]

This seems strange, OP.

Granted I only have one kid. But she's at a really difficult eating-out age (3ish) and I still don't get that stressed about it.

If menu choices overwhelm you, look up the menu online ahead of time. If your kids are indecisive or annoying about choosing food, give them 2 choices.

My biggest stressor with my toddler eating out is that I don't like for her to ever get up from her seat (I think kids running around or even walking around restaurants is rude) but my DH doesn't mind and lets her walk laps around the table. Ugh. I hate it so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting up to leave feels awkward?
Do you have anxiety (not trying to be cruel, just trying to understand why this perfectly normal thing, that everyone else in the restaurant will also do, feels awkward).

+1

I don’t understand about body posture either.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that not getting up to leave a restaurant would be more awkward. Eventually they would have to ask you to leave….

[Anonymous]

Some of this would be easier if you all sat down at the dining table to eat together at home - especially with cloth napkins, as that is the one thing my son can forget at a restaurant - to put his napkin on his lap. If you have regular family dinners, the kids should know to sit still, use their napkin, can't get up until everyone is done, etc.

We were eating at our kitchen island for a while but I recently decided I needed to reinforce some things like cloth napkin use, how to hold utensils when cutting, etc that are done more easily at the dining table.

For what to order - definitely check menus in advance to make sure they have stuff your kids would like.

[Anonymous]

1. Check out menus in advance. Have a first choice and a back up for each kid. Have a sense of what you'll want, too.
2. Kid has a bad attitude? They probably are having a hard time with something. Have a plan for the table: games you can play, things to talk about it, etc. Kid tends to complain that it's cold? Have them bring a sweater.
3. Why are you worried about what other people might think about your kids' posture? Some of these things you just have to let go. Worried kids staring around at everyone? Curiosity about their surroundings is normal. If you're worried about, have a plan: play tic tac toe, a guessing game, draw together, whatever.
4. Why does getting up to leave feel awkward? When the meal arrives, ask them to prepare your check. That way you can pay quickly and be on your way.

I used to be super stressed about dining out with my kids until all four of us visited family in Mexico and my aunt was like - RELAX. Being out in public is how they learn. Know what's developmentally appropriate for their ages, redirect when possible, and have a plan for what you'll do about things that worry you.

It does get better!