Eating out as a family

[Anonymous]

Going out to eat as a family....does it get better or more fun?

Here is what happens for me....

1. If it's a place we have never been to it's stressful ordering with all the choices including figuring out what the kids want in real time.
2. When we are sitting there eating, one of my kids will either display a bad attitude, complain it's too cold or something else that adds another slight stress.
3. I'm always concerned about body posture when eating out and that the kids are not staring around at everyone.
4. Lastly, getting up to leave feels awkward.

Does it get better?

[Anonymous]

Normally, I would say yes, it gets easier as kids get older and develop better table manners and can pick out their own food, etc. But you seem very sensitive. You worry about your kids' posture? No one is paying attention. Getting up to leave feels awkward? I don't even know what that means. Why would it be awkward to leave a restaurant. If reading a menu and having a kid complain stress you out, you should skip restaurants.

[Anonymous]

Yes. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Precovid we traveled and ate out frequently. My kids were amazing. They knew how to order, say thank you, wait patiently and enjoy their meal.

Then Covid hit and we were out of restaurants for two years. Our first few times back in restaurants and they were like hungry wild dogs (except whinier). Took a couple meals of near constant correction and they’re back on track.

[Anonymous]

Why is it awkward when you get up to leave??

[Anonymous]

Why are you focused on posture and leaving, weird.

[Anonymous]

You are like my husband. He cares so much about what other people will think of us if our children misbehave for a second that he would rather stay home. Our kids are generally pretty awesome.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? It shouldn't be this stressful. I totally recommend going out occasionally, as I think it helps set good habits and expectations. But trust me -- no one else is thinking about how you get up to leave.

Here are a couple of strategies:

1.) You can look at the menu online ahead of time. If you don't want to make the kids choose too far ahead, you could narrow it down to a couple of possibilities.

2.) You can model ordering politely.

3.) You can pick casual-ish places, or places with outdoor seating.

4.) Keep your rules to a minimum. Don't let them run around or make a gratuitous mess, but they don't have to be perfect.

If it goes really badly for your family, just try again in six months.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your expectations might be a little high. I don't worry about my kid staring at someone unless it's really obvious or they're making faces or something. I don't worry about posture unless they're getting up from the table or lying down in the chair (my older son will occasionally do this in order to demonstrate that he is "sooo tired"). I respond to their complaints/whining the same way I would at home. I don't know why you find it awkward to get up and leave - do you mean before you are done, like if you're making a point to the kids or they have gone off the rails?

[Anonymous]

Getting up to leave feels awkward?
Do you have anxiety (not trying to be cruel, just trying to understand why this perfectly normal thing, that everyone else in the restaurant will also do, feels awkward).

[Anonymous]

It’s a lot more fun now that my kids are teens/tweens and interested in food.

It was a nightmare until my most difficult kid started being less difficult (age 13 or so). We never went out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Precovid we traveled and ate out frequently. My kids were amazing. They knew how to order, say thank you, wait patiently and enjoy their meal.

Then Covid hit and we were out of restaurants for two years. Our first few times back in restaurants and they were like hungry wild dogs (except whinier). Took a couple meals of near constant correction and they’re back on track.

Same! DH called our kids “wild jackals” or first time back in a restaurant!!

[Anonymous]

Point 3 & 4 are just weird.

[Anonymous]

You sound anxious. (I am also anxous.)

For #1, you can look up the menu online ahead of time and prep your kids, maybe even talk about what they might order.

3 and 4 are a little strange (4 especially so). Not sure what those are about.

Generally, dining out is one of those things that gets better the more you do it. For us, we go to the same neighborhood place a whole lot, which is good practice for when we go someplace new.

[Anonymous]

The Aristocrats!

[Anonymous]

1. Arrive early. If you can’t get there before 6pm skip it, eat at home

2. Kid friendly place when they’re young, and know that menu before you arrive

3. Order their food to be delivered first pretty much as soon as you sit down

4. Let them get the stupid drink with a plastic critter toy (we had a ton of plastic sharks from the shark drink at Glory Days Grill)

5. People are spect little kids to look around, run and walk around the restaurant, nope. If they need to walk, go outside.

6. Why is leaving awkward?

The above will not create teens and adults who only eat off kids menus, as long as you keep broadening their dining out as they get older.