How important are college costs to you, even if you can afford any college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made more than enough money (just under 7 figures at my peak) to pay for any college whatsoever for each of my kids, but there was no way in hell I was going to pay for private school unless I was paying top tier. It's just not worth it.

You'll find a lot of posters on this board with money who will say that they'll happily pay for second tier schools that nobody's ever heard of -- including those silly "CTCL" schools. I think they're all nuts.

+1 Luckily DC had the grades for top schools and significant merit at others so we never had to cross the bridge to having such a conversation.

Exactly. I had two kids go to UVA in state and a third turn down William & Mary for Grinnell and other schools only because the kid got half tuition merit. That's how you do it. These people throwing money away on second tier are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us, we have the money, so I don’t care what it costs. (Since that what you asked). I want my child to go where they are comfortable. That’s it.

I would argue that if you have to sell assets then you can’t “afford” any college. That’s having to choose between your assets and college. I don’t think it’s worth 50,000 more a year, but I will pay it because I have it. You’re in a different situation.

OP here. I agree, but it's what FAFSA and colleges calculate: most assets are not protected, and therefore a lot of portfolios, real estate, etc, count towards your ability to pay. I'm not disagreeing with that rule, BTW. After all, the money is there, even though for us it's capital investment that we'd as soon not touch. But our situation makes me seriously reconsider all these really lovely, nurturing, smaller schools with such a hefty price tag.

Also, can you treat your children differently? One of our two children has some learning disabilities and might benefit from hand-holding at a SLAC. Can we justify spending huge sums for this one, and send the other to our state uni? This falls into the larger question of distribution of effort/finances for each kid, which we've already had to face, and will continue to face as we get into inheritance questions. Do we do it according to need, perceived future needs? What's fair?

Anyway. I'm struggling with guiding this oldest kid to colleges I feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have the same concerns for private elementary and high schools?

OP here. I did, so my kids are in a good public school system (with services and accommodations for one of them). I rationalized that during that time our portfolio would expand so that we could then afford any college, and this is indeed what happened. But now that our oldest is about to apply, I now have cold feet!

I guess what I'm trying to determine is if my oldest, with learning disabilities, can power through a large, more affordable university. And if so, it would be great. But I'm worried that he'll be lost and not do well.


This thread is helping me think this through. Thanks, DCUM brain

[Anonymous]

To your question about whether a SLAC or other school is worth it… my son was WL at his in-state safety school, but was offered merit aid at an out-of-state public school, so that’s where he’s going. While with merit it’s only slightly more expensive than the in-state school, we are very happy with what their outreach so far, particularly in terms of internships and other opportunities that offer more “small group” or individualized learning. It’s not this giant void that I imagined it would be — just the opposite. They have made a concerted effort to make a large university feel like a small one.

[Anonymous]

We have plenty of money and two kids with different needs. Our first kid attends an 80K plus school but gets more than 1/2 merit aid. He picked that school over another school with zero aid because it's just not worth the price tag.

My other kid has some learning issues and we think will be served best by a small school, he may or may not get merit aid and we are prepared to pay full price for a nurturing environment.

But there is definitely a limit to what is worth paying for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us, we have the money, so I don’t care what it costs. (Since that what you asked). I want my child to go where they are comfortable. That’s it.

I would argue that if you have to sell assets then you can’t “afford” any college. That’s having to choose between your assets and college. I don’t think it’s worth 50,000 more a year, but I will pay it because I have it. You’re in a different situation.

OP here. I agree, but it's what FAFSA and colleges calculate: most assets are not protected, and therefore a lot of portfolios, real estate, etc, count towards your ability to pay. I'm not disagreeing with that rule, BTW. After all, the money is there, even though for us it's capital investment that we'd as soon not touch. But our situation makes me seriously reconsider all these really lovely, nurturing, smaller schools with such a hefty price tag.

Also, can you treat your children differently? One of our two children has some learning disabilities and might benefit from hand-holding at a SLAC. Can we justify spending huge sums for this one, and send the other to our state uni? This falls into the larger question of distribution of effort/finances for each kid, which we've already had to face, and will continue to face as we get into inheritance questions. Do we do it according to need, perceived future needs? What's fair?

Anyway. I'm struggling with guiding this oldest kid to colleges I feel comfortable with.

Understood on the FAFSA thing. I guess I see a difference in selling a vacation home verses selling some stock. Depends what you mean.

As for can you treat them differently? I say no. If you will “let” the second kid go to the preferred school you have to do the same with the first. If the first prefers an in state or less expensive school, then great. But if they want to so to a SLAC and feel like it’s the right fight, I don’t think you can say “no” to them and yes to kid 2. But you can do whatever you want. It’s your money and your kids. Just my personal feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I feel really uncomfortable at the idea of paying enormous prices for 4 years, especially considering my kids will likely want graduate degrees as well (law and vet school, perhaps).

Don’t treat undergrad and grad as the same financially: your DC can get subsidized federal loans in grad school, regardless of parent wealth — no interest while in school. That’s basically free money that offsets (albeit only in part) what you will be paying for undergrad. That is not to say that undergrad is necessarily worth it, but it does seem that you are not weighing undergrad vs. grad expenses properly.

[Anonymous]

Our household income is $225, and it hasn't always been there. That is with 2 earners (one works in the school system, not a teacher, to be on the same schedule as the kids, not making much there). And, our top 2 budget items have always been saving for retirement and saving for college.

Our children will be able to attend any college they wish (that they can get in to), and won't be limited by cost. They won't get financial aid, but again, we prioritized saving for education, rather than spending on fancy vacations or cars.

[Anonymous]

What is extremely important to us is that our child has the opportunity to experience another area of the country so an in-state option was not ideal. I see great value in meeting and living amongst others that did not grow up in your state. It is hard to grow when you are having a 13th year of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel really uncomfortable at the idea of paying enormous prices for 4 years, especially considering my kids will likely want graduate degrees as well (law and vet school, perhaps).

Don’t treat undergrad and grad as the same financially: your DC can get subsidized federal loans in grad school, regardless of parent wealth — no interest while in school. That’s basically free money that offsets (albeit only in part) what you will be paying for undergrad. That is not to say that undergrad is necessarily worth it, but it does seem that you are not weighing undergrad vs. grad expenses properly.

The above is incorrect. Federal loans in graduate start accruing interest he moment you take them out.

- signed medical school parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us, we have the money, so I don’t care what it costs. (Since that what you asked). I want my child to go where they are comfortable. That’s it.

I would argue that if you have to sell assets then you can’t “afford” any college. That’s having to choose between your assets and college. I don’t think it’s worth 50,000 more a year, but I will pay it because I have it. You’re in a different situation.

Same. We can afford any school. Any school is okay with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us, we have the money, so I don’t care what it costs. (Since that what you asked). I want my child to go where they are comfortable. That’s it.

I would argue that if you have to sell assets then you can’t “afford” any college. That’s having to choose between your assets and college. I don’t think it’s worth 50,000 more a year, but I will pay it because I have it. You’re in a different situation.

You're not very smart if you have hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash just sitting there earning nothing. "Assets" include stocks, etc.

lol ... why do you even care, it's not your money.

Because I wouldn't trust financial advice from anybody so stupid.

Not the PP but our HHI is north of 3M a year. We set of 529s when the kids were babies and dumped a chunk of money into them that has grown. We will probably use that to pay for college. But, we could also just pay for college out of cash flow every year. It’s not really any different than paying for private school now. We sometimes have hundreds of thousands of dollars in our bank account because one of us got a huge distribution that day. Before we move that money to investments, we can write a 70K check for college on a random Tuesday. Not everyone is so worried about money that they stress about their investments the way you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is extremely important to us is that our child has the opportunity to experience another area of the country so an in-state option was not ideal. I see great value in meeting and living amongst others that did not grow up in your state. It is hard to grow when you are having a 13th year of high school.

Lots of states have plenty of diversity within the state itself. My daughter will most likely go to Radford in SW VA. That is a very different place than the burbs in northern VA. Our other choice is ODU, which has a very different feel from our area, as well (although urban vs rural)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us, we have the money, so I don’t care what it costs. (Since that what you asked). I want my child to go where they are comfortable. That’s it.

I would argue that if you have to sell assets then you can’t “afford” any college. That’s having to choose between your assets and college. I don’t think it’s worth 50,000 more a year, but I will pay it because I have it. You’re in a different situation.

You're not very smart if you have hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash just sitting there earning nothing. "Assets" include stocks, etc.

lol ... why do you even care, it's not your money.

Because I wouldn't trust financial advice from anybody so stupid.

Not the PP but our HHI is north of 3M a year. We set of 529s when the kids were babies and dumped a chunk of money into them that has grown. We will probably use that to pay for college. But, we could also just pay for college out of cash flow every year. It’s not really any different than paying for private school now. We sometimes have hundreds of thousands of dollars in our bank account because one of us got a huge distribution that day. Before we move that money to investments, we can write a 70K check for college on a random Tuesday. Not everyone is so worried about money that they stress about their investments the way you do.

Liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made more than enough money (just under 7 figures at my peak) to pay for any college whatsoever for each of my kids, but there was no way in hell I was going to pay for private school unless I was paying top tier. It's just not worth it.

You'll find a lot of posters on this board with money who will say that they'll happily pay for second tier schools that nobody's ever heard of -- including those silly "CTCL" schools. I think they're all nuts.

+1 Luckily DC had the grades for top schools and significant merit at others so we never had to cross the bridge to having such a conversation.

But that is the question. Is even a top tier school worth $80k a year if your child gets significant merit at another school? My kid has high stats and that is the decision I am grappling with. I am in a similar situation to the OP. As a single parent, have a reasonable income (but not one where I can pay full tuition) but have some money in an account from my parents (who passed away) that means I will not quality for aid. The question for me is whether to put all of that money to college tuition or not. (I do own my house and have a good amount of retirement savings.)