Feeling like a monster when I can't pick up toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks so much, PPs, these are helpful replies.

Any advice for when we are out of the house? One example is the gym parking garage. I want her to walk holding my hand but she wants to be carried. I’m carrying a bag and it’s so hard to carry her too, but I can’t sit down in the garage and cuddle.

Offer choices. “My body is too tired to carry you right now, but I can sit next to you in the car until you’re ready to walk, or you can walk inside and once we get inside you can sit on my lap once I find a chair— which one do you want?” Gently repeat until she chooses. She will learn eventually, OP. Just hold the line.

Just reporting back from the other side, and this is the kind of thing I had to do with my toddler when I was 8 months pregnant. I felt awful but there was one week I had bad enough back pain I was very concerned I would legitimately drop her if I tried to pick her up so I really had to hold the line on it. But it's very beneficial now, because she understands and accepts "Mommy's back hurts; I have to put you down now" without any fuss. It's worth it, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm not pregnant but have a significant hip injury (labral tear). Lifting causes me pain so I avoid picking up my toddler unless it's an emergency (she's walking into traffic, etc.). I do not feel guilty. She needs me to be healthy and the way I get there is by not stressing the injury. It's a good opportunity to teach some independent skills like walking while holding my hand.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,
Been working with toddlers forever. I adore this precious age. It’s the terrific twos. That being said, please stop picking up your two year old, unless she injures herself. You do not want her learning “helplessness”, as another poster said on another thread.
Your daughter needs you to be loving, but in a strong and firm way. She needs you to be her model of strength. Allow her to walk on her on two strong little legs. This is exactly how she’ll increase her own confidence and self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

My sister had the genius idea to make up “the comfy couch” game. She would lay on the couch and ask her kids to bring her all the blankets and pillows and stuffed animals they could find to make a comfy couch. Then, when it was all comfy, they would snuggle and read books or watch a show.

Make up any game that will get your child to bring things to you, like “find five of your favorite books” or “find lots of coloring supplies for our art project.” That way, the kid gets to burn off energy by running around the house, you get to rest, and then you get some time together to read or color or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I had the same issue, and I think it really helped to explain to my daughter how the big belly made it very hard for me to pick her up, but that it would get small again and it would be easier for me to pick her up then. Though that meant I had to tell her every day post-partum "no, my belly still isn't small enough to pick you up"