Seeking Advice. Multiple Miscarriages
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Anonymous
| I had a third at “advanced maternal age” so absolutely no judgment here but in your shoes, and given the likelihood that it really is genetic issues mentioned upthread, I would be really nervous about taking a medical regime to try to make a genetically damaged egg “stick.” |
Anonymous
| Also keep in mind that even if you end up successfully being able to carry to term, third child could end up with disabilities that would require a lifetime of care and no independence for the remainder of your life. This happened to my parents with my younger sibling, and it requires a tremendous amount of sacrifice. Given your miscarriage difficulties (which my mom also had) and higher risk of disabilities given your (and I assume your husband’s) age, you should think very carefully about if you want to go down IVF route. Not all tests can account for genetic anomalies and subsequent disabilities. Wishing you the best. |
Anonymous
Christina Perri is speaking out about her miscarriage experience with antiphospholipid syndrome, a blood clotting disorder. It should be discussed more as a possible cause of miscarriage and other blood clotting symptoms. |
Anonymous
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. Recurrent losses are the worst. I hope the trolls realize that anonymous strangers have no place telling you how many children you should have or want. You are the only one who knows when your family is complete or when the pain of losses outweighs the pain of not feeling complete as a family.
I had several losses before having my son and I went through everything- all the testing, progesterone, and lovenox shots. I was with an RE at GW who was amazing and very real with me- if your losses are testing as genetically normal then IVF isn't likely to help, as this is all they can screen for, but a lot of clinics will push you into this because $$$. As some others have said, get tested for balanced translocations and clotting disorders if you haven't already. Dr Humm is at Shady Grove Rockville now, but I would assume that she can still advise you with a science-based approach. I cannot recommend enough contacting Dr Kliman at Yale University. He is a pathologist who studies the placenta. My RE happened to know him from her studies and he was able to diagnose me with a genetic issue that caused placental problems leading to losses. I never had to travel to him. Pathology at GW prepared slides from my losses that were sent to him- if you had a D&C the slides are likely on file at your hospital. It was very affordable to have him review slides. I was told that my issue results in losses before ten weeks, so it might not be your answer, but I think it's a good next step if you've done all the other things. Dr. Kliman has written and spoken that he believes placenta issues are a common cause of recurrent miscarriage but under-diagnosed. |
Anonymous
| Metformin has been found to be extremely safe to take throughout pregnancy. Get a new doctor and keep taking it. |
Anonymous
Metformin in pregnancy does not increase congenital abnormalities and is generally well tolerated. Serious side-effects are very rare. In GDM, because it reduces maternal weight gain compared with insulin, metformin is now the preferred option if glucose targets are not met with dietary measures. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6073429/#:~:text=Metformin%20in%20pregnancy%20does%20not,not%20met%20with%20dietary%20measures. |
Anonymous
| My friend was diagnosed with a uterine infection after three miscarriages. Worth asking about. |
Anonymous
| I was in a very similar position as you, OP. We began trying for our third in September 2020 and conceived the first cycle, but that pregnancy ended with a TFMR at 12 weeks. Another pregnancy a few months later was a blighted ovum. We consulted an RE at that point and testing and SIS all looked good. My OB thought we would have success as long as we were willing to “play the odds.” We were on the cusp of trying IVF but conceived before doing so, and I had our third two months ago at 38. All told, it took us 11 months of trying before we conceived our third. |
Anonymous
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I’m really sorry you have experienced so much loss. Looking at this very objectively and from a rational only point of you: Howe badly do you really want a third?
If you are absolutely 100% focused on having a third child no matter what, then book in to see a fertility specialist. I would request full genetic testing on you, blood testing for blood clotting disorders, egg quality testing, and a hysteroscopy or saline ultrasound to check the health of your uterus. Depending on the results from those tests, you’ll be able to determine whether IVF is right for you. In your case and at your age, I would absolutely only do IVF. I would not screw around with timed intercourse or IUI. Those are young people games. If you would totally welcome a third child but are maybe like 75% or 95% sure he would go any length to have one, then I would likely continue trying on your own and not do IVF, and see what happens. I would still get the work ups mentioned above, specifically for blood clotting disorders and to see if you are genetic carrier for anything that is resulting in losses, and if your uterus is still a good host for an embryo. There are certain things you can do to improve your chances having a child naturally if issues surfaced from any of those tests. All in all, having a healthy pregnancy and baby in your late 30s is achievable, either naturally or with IVF, but only to a degree. I know that sounds really trite, but if you have had two healthy pregnancies and babies already and are now struggling, it can be hard ti wrap your head around that prior success does not guarantee same results. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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Well, you could have a lot more pain and disappointment in the future so do not make the decision because you've done all this so far.
I'd stop Op. Turn over a new leaf. Re-commit to 2 |
Anonymous
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I can only guess what I would do in your shoes here, coming on the heels of my first loss at 39. I would probably give myself a time limit to pursue this and then stop if unsuccessful.
I'm really sorry for your losses, OP. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry for your losses, OP. Personally I stopped after 3 miscarriages (I have one child) because the cycle of TTC, hope, loss, and treating the miscarriage was too hard.
I did not want to do fertility treatments, in part because they are also hard and in part because I felt I was "pushing my luck" trying to get pregnant at 39-40. You're a bit younger and I think the opposite decision on fertility treatments is reasonable / would have been reasonable at my age. But just personally, I never wanted to do it. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry OP. I could have written this post, the same happened to me.
I also had a full work up and no answers. I was 34 with two kids. I had been so invested in a third, But I decided to stop. And now. I really am glad I did. As my kids grew, they needed me even more and I feel like a third would have drastically changed their life. I think only you can decide what you Want but give yourself permission to think about stopping. I’m just a stranger on the Internet but I have been there and it was so hard, I hope you get the support You need. |
Anonymous
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I think you need to rule out horses before looking for zebras.
Have you had a basic blood work up recently- check thyroid, anemia, etc? |
Anonymous
| I’m so sorry OP. I have been down this road and it is rough. Please ask to have your thyroid checked. The range of normal for day to day purposes does not perfectly overlap with the optimal range for ttc and carrying a baby. I needed thyroid medication. After that one adjustment I went on to have 2 more healthy pregnancies after suffering 5(!) m/c after my second child. |