Why do people who see others poorer than they don't try to help them out professionally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saw a story years ago that always stuck in my head about a computer programmer who helped a homeless man learn how to program instead of giving him change to buy alcohol and the homeless man earned some money. It's fine if people don't want to help themselves out of poverty but why don't some attempt to help? My mom was a maid and my dad a waiter. We lived paycheck to paycheck because of their poor financial habits and dads secrets. I didn't even have my own bed to sleep in until age 14. My many cousins who had their own beds and rooms saw this and didn't attempt to help my mom or even me when I was older. I relied on comm college counselors advice and it wasnt any good. As a grownup I'm very blunt and direct with people and I try to help. I see someone that I see struggling and I immediately want to give advice. So why don't others? Why so mean?

OP, what advice would you have wanted your mom to receive? Leave your dad? Find a better job? Do you know that your aunts and uncles didn't try to advise your mom?

People don't listen, OP. Go on and dispense your advice but prepare for zero changes.

Yes. She asked for advice and help in leaving my dad a few times and was turned down by my aunt. My aunt was a stay at home mom and her only sister. She didn't get the push she needed. Now she thinks she's too old to do anything. I actually haven't been given any advice except for my mom and I do take it to heart and listen to it. Other people never offer advice unless asked and even then they seem to hesitate

You can’t blame your aunt (or anyone else) for your mother’s choices. Maybe your aunt knew helping your mom would have been the end of her marriage. Maybe your aunt told your mom not to marry your dad and she did it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Homeless people have a wide range of problems. Yes, there are some that have had a rough start in life followed by a series of bad luck. Others have profound mental illness, like schizophrenia. How can I easily differentiate between the two?

[Anonymous]

My sister has had long standing issues. I have given her advice but she really doesn’t take it until it’s too late. Her kids are teenager and I have given them advice but I’m given excuses. I cannot support them financially because I have my family to support and also my mom. Do I feel bad for her kids? Kind of. But the brutal fact is we live in a dog-eat-dog society with no social safety net anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unsolicited advice is always about your ego, not to help the other person.

Wish someone gave me unsolicited advice growing up. Wasted so much energy/time trying to find a come up.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes there are family issues OP, or the family member was told that their future partner was no good and they went and married them anyhow and never left them.

We had family members who leached off my parents for years, and my parents really did try to help. But, sometimes, the crabs will pull the crabs who are almost going to escape right back in the bucket with them. I have seen needy family members drag their more successful ones right down with them. You have to take care of yourselves first.