Is it rude to tell your less fortunate friends to start saving up

[Anonymous]

It’s rude to give unsolicited advice, but you can mention it in a way that is not giving advice. If this is a discussion group you’re on on Facebook where you routinely talk about the price of things and how inflation is impacting you? Just go ahead and say “OMG, I just realize it’s gonna be really hard to find money to budget for Christmas this year! Everything’s more expensive. Maybe it would be a good year to cut back, or do you think I should get a second job? How are you guys thinking about handling the increase in costs?” Bringing it up as a discussion topic is fine.

[Anonymous]

You must be one of those really materialistic, "Xmas", tons-of-presents-under-the-tree, kind of people.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I think a lot of UMC people do not save enough. I am UMC but was raised working class. I see many of our friends spending on private school tuition they cannot afford, $1500 a month in two car payments, HELOCs for expensive home renovations, etc. I think a lot of UMC people take high incomes for granted and view them as a reason to live a certain lifestyle rather then as an opportunity to accelerate the path to financial freedom while the high income lasts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s like telling your fat friend to think about eating less and exercising more. You think they don’t know what they should do? And what do you mean by “so-called inflation”?

Actually, telling your poor friend to save up for Christmas is like telling your fat friend to skip breakfast and lunch cause we're going to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Sure, it's rude. Lots of us don't want to spend a lot of money at Christmas, but our rude relatives and friends insist on it.

My "favorite" is exchanging gift cards, we are basically just swapping cash that now may or may not be used. My family here insists on it, sigh. So this is how you might sound to your friends OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s rude to give unsolicited advice, but you can mention it in a way that is not giving advice. If this is a discussion group you’re on on Facebook where you routinely talk about the price of things and how inflation is impacting you? Just go ahead and say “OMG, I just realize it’s gonna be really hard to find money to budget for Christmas this year! Everything’s more expensive. Maybe it would be a good year to cut back, or do you think I should get a second job? How are you guys thinking about handling the increase in costs?” Bringing it up as a discussion topic is fine.

This is a good suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s rude to give unsolicited advice, but you can mention it in a way that is not giving advice. If this is a discussion group you’re on on Facebook where you routinely talk about the price of things and how inflation is impacting you? Just go ahead and say “OMG, I just realize it’s gonna be really hard to find money to budget for Christmas this year! Everything’s more expensive. Maybe it would be a good year to cut back, or do you think I should get a second job? How are you guys thinking about handling the increase in costs?” Bringing it up as a discussion topic is fine.

This is a good suggestion.

I'll do it!

[Anonymous]

I like to give guidance to folks, particularly people who are terrible with money like my in laws.

And by giving them proper guidance, it’s harder for them to ask me to bail them out of their inevitable crises that that teeter from, from one to the next.

Wife doesn’t love it though.

[Anonymous]

I think you can mention what YOU are doing and maybe they will pick up on the fact that your habits are different than their s and perhaps that’s part of the problem.

For example you could say - “Thank goodness for Harris Teeter gas points, I saved $16 today!” Or “Can’t wait to see what the Prime Day deals are so I can start stashing away gifts for Christmas!”

I have two moms in my neighborhood who are always complaining about how expensive kids activities are. Based on their job titles, I assume we earn more. Come to find out that they both use Fresh Direct or Instacart for all their groceries and that they just buy whatever ingredients they need for the recipes they pick out. I stock up on basics at Costco and shop the weekly sale ad. I use the store’s own program so that I order online and they put it in my trunk - and I get the local sale prices and my rewards points. I didn’t scold them or try to give them advice, I just mentioned that I use the store program because it’s cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How else can you be sure they get you a good present?

Who cares about presents when money is tight?

[Anonymous]

Lots of people who are living paycheck to paycheck blow whatever budget they do have during the holiday season.

If people are feeling pinched by inflation now, things probably won't get better by December. Makes sense to start thinking about lowering Christmas expectations NOW.

Years ago, there was a great book called "Unplug the Christmas Machine". Has it been updated?

[Anonymous]

This kind of concern and "helpful suggestions" is why I'm not on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because people who don't have as much money as you do won't realize that Christmas will be in December this year without your guidance and wisdom.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a joke.

If not: wow. Yeah, just go ahead and STFU. Talking about money is rude by definition. Telling people to start saving up for Christmas?! Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How else can you be sure they get you a good present?

Who cares about presents when money is tight?

Is money tight or are people just complaining too much? I moved to Vegas 18 years ago were the local bars are still full, friends of mine still spend a thousand dollars or so regularly on new cell phones, TV's and still get their food delivered by Uber Eats. Oh I nearly forgot, people still find 5 or more dollars for a cup of coffee.