New career for MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m seriously not a troll. Also, the kids don’t go alone. We ALL go together, not just the kids. Grandma doesn’t bake or cook. We always all dine out or share in the cooking. It’s seriously only about the tradition going away. We can just go to the empty house but Grandpa has busied himself with work trips while Grandma is away instead of the trip. The kids range in age from 4-15 and all go at the same time along with the 4 siblings and 4 spouses.

So, you can do it like every summer, just without Grandma and Grandpa. You can still have your traditions. I don’t see the problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m seriously not a troll. Also, the kids don’t go alone. We ALL go together, not just the kids. Grandma doesn’t bake or cook. We always all dine out or share in the cooking. It’s seriously only about the tradition going away. We can just go to the empty house but Grandpa has busied himself with work trips while Grandma is away instead of the trip. The kids range in age from 4-15 and all go at the same time along with the 4 siblings and 4 spouses.

So, you can do it like every summer, just without Grandma and Grandpa. You can still have your traditions. I don’t see the problems.

It will be 22 people instead of 24.

[Anonymous]

This is some ageist bullshit. Let’s review: the kids can grow up and change and get into sports or camps or summer jobs or internships or college orientation, and all that will be fine and dandy and great for them. Or you and DH could get some intense new job and that would be understandable because breadwinning. But MIL dares to pursue a career and wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhh, just because you think she doesn’t need the money? OK well maybe she doesn’t just live to fulfill your summer dreams, maybe she exists as a person in her own right. Wowie zowie, imagine that.

[Anonymous]

Consider for the moment that grandma knew exactly what this would mean. This is her saying no and needing a pretty big excuse to do it. But she's saying no. What if she had just said no? Would you all have complained and rallied for her to give that time to the family?

[Anonymous]

Grandma is setting a fabulous example for her offspring, especially the granddaughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider for the moment that grandma knew exactly what this would mean. This is her saying no and needing a pretty big excuse to do it. But she's saying no. What if she had just said no? Would you all have complained and rallied for her to give that time to the family?

THIS!
Also, why is OP only blaming grandma for the change? Looks like grandpa made other plans too; he could have still host ALL of you if he wanted to.

OP, please realize what a HUGE undertaking this was for the grandparents.

Way to go grandma👊🏾

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m seriously not a troll. Also, the kids don’t go alone. We ALL go together, not just the kids. Grandma doesn’t bake or cook. We always all dine out or share in the cooking. It’s seriously only about the tradition going away. We can just go to the empty house but Grandpa has busied himself with work trips while Grandma is away instead of the trip. The kids range in age from 4-15 and all go at the same time along with the 4 siblings and 4 spouses.

So, you can do it like every summer, just without Grandma and Grandpa. You can still have your traditions. I don’t see the problems.

It will be 22 people instead of 24.

Exactly. I’m not buying that the kids are distraught enough that the whole thing isn’t worthwhile if grandma won’t be there. I’d give it 2 hours and they won’t even miss her when they have everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Oh noes, OP, do you have to watch your own kids this summer?!

[Anonymous]

You are the epitome of a selfish, entitled person. Maybe mil didn’t enjoy having her grandkids dumped on her for freeloading all summer and the only way out of it was to get a job at 68!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m seriously not a troll. Also, the kids don’t go alone. We ALL go together, not just the kids. Grandma doesn’t bake or cook. We always all dine out or share in the cooking. It’s seriously only about the tradition going away. We can just go to the empty house but Grandpa has busied himself with work trips while Grandma is away instead of the trip. The kids range in age from 4-15 and all go at the same time along with the 4 siblings and 4 spouses.

This “summer house” holds 25+ people?

[Anonymous]

This is a very clear message to you that they do not want these traditions to continue. You must be incredibly dense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to sort out my feelings and also help my children make peace with this. My MIL is 68 years old. She and my FIL are still married. They are very wealthy and have a wonderful life and home together. Every summer, all of the grandchildren get to visit them at their summer house. The kids get to swim, go to Disney, etc with MIL & FIL. All of the plans for summer had been established like the past 15 years when suddenly my MIL decided to get a job that requires 6 weeks of isolated training followed by 4 weeks of work away from home. The 14 grandchildren are very upset and confused. My FIL is upset as well but supporting her new dream. Essentially summer is canceled for the grandchildren and when any of the older ones from each sibling call to ask when they can see their grandmother, she says she has no idea when she’ll be available again because she’s chasing her dreams. What?!?!

14 kids in her house? Are you mad? I can't stand more than 2. She is sick of you all.

[Anonymous]

It is like locusts coming to her house. Noooooooooooo!

[Anonymous]

what is her new career. i don't think i would be thrilled with 14 kids and their parents coming to visit. is this all at the same time?

she is 68! this arrangement sounds exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll and also, it’s not free. We spend the money to fly there and pay for Disney, meals, etc. Sure, we stay at the summer house but that’s normal. It’s more about tradition and the grandchildren feeling like they no longer matter.

Don’t you think the kids’ felling will be pretty reflective of the parents’ reactions? If you are enthusiastic ,”Isn’t Grandma’s new job exciting-what a great opportunity for her!” then I’m guessing the kids are not going to feel rejected. Plus, while my kids love their grandparents, at family gatherings, they are all about the cousins and other kids. I think this is more about you feeling rejected. It’s okay to be upset, but you should own it.

I am terribly curious what kind of job it is that requires that level of travel a 68-year old woman was hired for when she previously wasn’t working (or got summers off at least). I am impressed and a little envious.