New career for MIL

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to sort out my feelings and also help my children make peace with this. My MIL is 68 years old. She and my FIL are still married. They are very wealthy and have a wonderful life and home together. Every summer, all of the grandchildren get to visit them at their summer house. The kids get to swim, go to Disney, etc with MIL & FIL. All of the plans for summer had been established like the past 15 years when suddenly my MIL decided to get a job that requires 6 weeks of isolated training followed by 4 weeks of work away from home. The 14 grandchildren are very upset and confused. My FIL is upset as well but supporting her new dream. Essentially summer is canceled for the grandchildren and when any of the older ones from each sibling call to ask when they can see their grandmother, she says she has no idea when she’ll be available again because she’s chasing her dreams. What?!?!

[Anonymous]

It's one summer. And it's HER life.

It sound like you're more annoyed over the loss of free vacations than anything else.

[Anonymous]

I assume this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a troll and also, it’s not free. We spend the money to fly there and pay for Disney, meals, etc. Sure, we stay at the summer house but that’s normal. It’s more about tradition and the grandchildren feeling like they no longer matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll and also, it’s not free. We spend the money to fly there and pay for Disney, meals, etc. Sure, we stay at the summer house but that’s normal. It’s more about tradition and the grandchildren feeling like they no longer matter.

So grandma shouldn’t matter? It’s one summer. It’s get finding a new purpose. Wow, please take a step back and evaluate your family priorities.
What of the reason she couldn’t do it the summer because she had an illness? Would you be this upset?

[Anonymous]

I would like to compare the comments in this post to the MIL complaining that her son and DIL want to go to the mountains instead of the beach for once. People were vicious to her because traditions be damned. Unless this is a troll conducting an experiment.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a good opportunity to find a totally different vacation experience for your family, and to model being supportive and resilient.

[Anonymous]

I guess I don’t understand why you can’t all still go? Like just find another house to rent nearby, maybe she can come for a weekend at some point. If she will be away from home for a 4-week stretch and FIL would otherwise be home just waiting around, he might be thrilled to host or otherwise come to a rental with you all.

Even if it’s hard to find a house in their area during that time, if you are paying for Disney tix every summer you clearly have some money to moved around here so figure something out.

If the issue is that MIL is the one who hosts and cleans and prepares and you all just don’t want to deal with it then that’s fine, but you then have to own that YOU are the one who is doing this to the kids, not MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don’t understand why you can’t all still go? Like just find another house to rent nearby, maybe she can come for a weekend at some point. If she will be away from home for a 4-week stretch and FIL would otherwise be home just waiting around, he might be thrilled to host or otherwise come to a rental with you all.

Even if it’s hard to find a house in their area during that time, if you are paying for Disney tix every summer you clearly have some money to moved around here so figure something out.

If the issue is that MIL is the one who hosts and cleans and prepares and you all just don’t want to deal with it then that’s fine, but you then have to own that YOU are the one who is doing this to the kids, not MIL.

It’s about the parents having somewhere to send their kids for 3 weeks every summer.

[Anonymous]

It's her life - sometimes people go through things. Look for some fun alternatives for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Time for your kids to realize that adults—especially older adults—don’t just exist to bake them cookies and do fun things with and for them. Time for you to tell them in no uncertain terms that Grandma’s first job on this planet is to fulfill her dreams and please HERSELF, and they should congratulate her on a new venture. She is learning, growing, and LIVING.

Good. For. Her. You can can it with your “feelings.” She doesn’t exist to be their ideal cookie baker, or your babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to sort out my feelings and also help my children make peace with this. My MIL is 68 years old. She and my FIL are still married. They are very wealthy and have a wonderful life and home together. Every summer, all of the grandchildren get to visit them at their summer house. The kids get to swim, go to Disney, etc with MIL & FIL. All of the plans for summer had been established like the past 15 years when suddenly my MIL decided to get a job that requires 6 weeks of isolated training followed by 4 weeks of work away from home. The 14 grandchildren are very upset and confused. My FIL is upset as well but supporting her new dream. Essentially summer is canceled for the grandchildren and when any of the older ones from each sibling call to ask when they can see their grandmother, she says she has no idea when she’ll be available again because she’s chasing her dreams. What?!?!

What ages are the grandchildren? How many visit at one time and for how long?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don’t understand why you can’t all still go? Like just find another house to rent nearby, maybe she can come for a weekend at some point. If she will be away from home for a 4-week stretch and FIL would otherwise be home just waiting around, he might be thrilled to host or otherwise come to a rental with you all.

Even if it’s hard to find a house in their area during that time, if you are paying for Disney tix every summer you clearly have some money to moved around here so figure something out.

If the issue is that MIL is the one who hosts and cleans and prepares and you all just don’t want to deal with it then that’s fine, but you then have to own that YOU are the one who is doing this to the kids, not MIL.

It’s about the parents having somewhere to send their kids for 3 weeks every summer.

Wait, OP, are you saying that MIL and FIL were providing sole childcare for a pack of cousins for several weeks every summer? That is an insane burden and you should be incredibly grateful they did it at all, not annoyed they won’t do it indefinitely. Yikes. If that is the situation, YATA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to compare the comments in this post to the MIL complaining that her son and DIL want to go to the mountains instead of the beach for once. People were vicious to her because traditions be damned. Unless this is a troll conducting an experiment.

Um except they invited her along. This OP is upset because Grandma *isn’t* inviting them along. (Which is absurd.) There is nothing similar about these threads.

[Anonymous]

I’m seriously not a troll. Also, the kids don’t go alone. We ALL go together, not just the kids. Grandma doesn’t bake or cook. We always all dine out or share in the cooking. It’s seriously only about the tradition going away. We can just go to the empty house but Grandpa has busied himself with work trips while Grandma is away instead of the trip. The kids range in age from 4-15 and all go at the same time along with the 4 siblings and 4 spouses.