Why do rich people pretend to act like they are not rich?

[Anonymous]

Safety for myself and my family.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a middle line to walk.

Don't be showy or ostentatious, but lying and acting like you are broke or not acknowledging your privilege can be obnoxious.

I went to a big three and a lot of my classmates who had parents who worked in government etc would act like they were poor just because their dads weren't law firm partners. They just seemed incredibly out of touch. This was back in the 90s, when a government lawyer married to a teacher or SAHM could afford to live in NW DC.
And I now know some of them had family wealth anyway, so that makes it even more out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I move in UMC/UC circles and with the exception of a few who newly made it rich, most like to pretend they are not rich. I was talking with close friends of ours who are worth 8 mil or so, who keep saying "rich people" and refering to people like the British Royal Family or Taylor Swift.

I am sorry but a couple in their early 30s worth 8 mil net worth are considered rich in any stretch of the imagination!

That’s just weird that someone with 8M refers to anyone as rich people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich people and families stay rich by not spending their money and maintaining more modest spending habits and mindsets.

This.
Plus many are in society leadership roles and by definition need be able to relate to others. That said, I do tell my kids were very fortunate and never to talk about it outside the home. We also teach investment strategies and budgeting (to my 12 year old); the younger one is still learning what pocket money is for.

BTW we drive Subarus and Toyotas, shop for little kid clothes at Target, don't wear fancy jewelry or clothes unless there is a very special occasion, etc. (In which case we go all out).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people and families stay rich by not spending their money and maintaining more modest spending habits and mindsets.

This.
Plus many are in society leadership roles and by definition need be able to relate to others. That said, I do tell my kids were very fortunate and never to talk about it outside the home. We also teach investment strategies and budgeting (to my 12 year old); the younger one is still learning what pocket money is for.

BTW we drive Subarus and Toyotas, shop for little kid clothes at Target, don't wear fancy jewelry or clothes unless there is a very special occasion, etc. (In which case we go all out).

I think this is all pretty typical. OPs example of them complaining about “rich people” is annoying though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Safety for myself and my family.

What exactly do you need to be protected from? Everyone knows we have money--we don't talk about it, but we don't downplay it. We save extensively, but I am not interested in living like austerely if I don't have to, so our things and lifestyle give us away. And our generosity. I do not worry about my safety.

[Anonymous]

And how, exactly, do you know they are "worth 8 million or so"? Do. Tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And how, exactly, do you know they are "worth 8 million or so"? Do. Tell.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you know your friends have a net worth of $8M+ suggests that either you are nosy or they are oversharing.

This. Unless its public record how many shares they own in a public company.

My inlaws are worth $20M. And trust me you would never know with their old hondas an their coupons and their jean shorts and fashion from the 80's.

[Anonymous]

They don’t think they are rich. If you didn’t grow up rich and you mostly run in UMC circles, it’s easy to think that everyone is like you and that you are normal.

I recognize that in 90% of the US my family is considered rich and immensely privileged. However, in central Arlington it is easy to look around at lots and lots of families like mine and also look north at lots of families who are many times wealthier than we are. There is a shocking number of very wealthy people in the DMV and over time it’s easy to feel “middle class” compared to people who live in $2M+ homes, send kids to private school, etc.

[Anonymous]

WASP culture. It takes all the joy out of being rich.

[Anonymous]

I mean, what do you want them to do instead? Only drink Dom Perignom and eat lobster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WASP culture. It takes all the joy out of being rich.

You're joking, right? I think WASP culture make it all the more intriguing. One has to look for the clues not the ostentatious! I'm half WASP half Latina and there is a huge difference in the culture of money! I'm definitely more wasp myself, but I cannot resist an invitation to a Latin party!

[Anonymous]

So you don't have to deal with "friends" and family asking for loans or expecting you to always pick up the tab.

[Anonymous]

For DH and me it's for safety reasons, not wanting to share our financial business and because we have a small child who we'd prefer to grow up 'middle class'. We are self-made, no family trusts or inheritance. We understand what it took to build our wealth. We aren't extra flashy, especially DH, you would never know by looking at him that he has millions. He wants to keep it that way, as he always tells me.