How to Guide DC as she picks a career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her be an adult.

Not everyone knows at 21 definitively what they want to do. Trying to fore that is a recipe for conflict, or worse, for unhappiness a decade or so down the line. I'm 52 and I still don't know what's next, but my career has gone very well indeed.

Many, many of my generation decided they wanted to be attorneys. Perhaps that's because of LA Law, I'm not sure. But of the attorneys I work with now (there are many because of what I do), maybe 40% are happy. The others really wanted to do something else, or they realized it after they got their degrees and started to work. But now they feel stuck, and unhappy.

I'd hate for my daughter to force a clear decision on career when it didn't feel right.

This^. Whatever you do, dont push her into medicine, unless she wants too. Doing something you don't have a passion for, can take spark away from smart people.

[Anonymous]

If she doesn’t have a passion have her focus on the money.

In fact even if she does, make sure she things of the money.

Being a scientist pays peanuts, so if pre med have a real backup plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've given DC (now a rising junior in college) ultimate control of what she wants to do with her life. She initially came in as pre-med and has explored CS, policy work, and history -- taking courses and doing internships in these areas while keeping up with all the pre-med requirements. Now, we've reached the halfway point of her college career and we're trying to plan ahead for her grad school/career. Except... she's incredibly indecisive on what career she wants. She tells us, "Every time I find myself in the place I've always dreamed of, I always want to be somewhere else." For example, she loves her scientific research/volunteering, but thought something was missing - she wanted to understand how policymakers made decisions. So, she got back on her feet and is working on policy, and says she can't wait to get back to the lab - that policy work was everything she dreamed of, but it didn't engage with people. Here's the thing, she's good at everything she puts her mind to, so it's incredibly hard to guide her and her path forward. Do you all have any tips for helping to guide her along?

The bolded is your problem. Your kid will likely not have one career. That is great! She can try something, then take what she likes of it to the next thing, and then do it again. I would suggest, kindly, that you butt out. It will also benefit your daughter to spend a few years working before grad school - this is MOST important for kids (like me!) who don't know exactly what they want after college. I had a job that was ok, one that was better, one that suited me for 6 years, and THEN I went to grad school and am now happily settled in my "career." But I didn't get there until about age 35, on purpose.

+1
You need to step back. I'd suggest that she get a job in the field she's thinking about, because that experience will be really helpful. It's normal to be indecisive, and it's normal to take a while to figure out what the best fit is. Going straight into graduate school might end up being a giant waste of money now, but give her a few years to try things out and she'll be an even more attractive candidate with a lot more information to work with.

+2

Grad school would be much more beneficial once she is certain which area she wants to focus on. Even if your kid thinks they know what they want, I have found grad students do much better if they have industry experience first---it helps them focus their research.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the PPs who advise you to let her find her path without adding any pressure to her own self-imposed expectations. At the same time, though, as someone who was very much in your daughter's place 30 years ago, she might need to hear from you that she doesn't need to find the perfect and ideally fulfilling job right now -- or ever -- she just needs to take one step in that direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds smart and capable.

If she’s cute also, she can always bounce from job to job with ease.

Credential cute women in their twenties don’t need to worry about finding a career path or resume gaps.

Have you ever met a t20 grad that was hot that was involuntarily unemployed/underemployed?

You sound gross.

Can you actually think about females in jobs without commenting on how “hot” they are?? How disrespectful and unprofessional! I pray that my daughter never has you for a boss. And I hope whoever does have you for a boss sues you for discrimination.

[Anonymous]

If she’s had a first impression/gut sense of the type of job/career she wants, it’s amazing how accurate that is over time. The variables around that core impression may change over time or take a while to get right, but the core may not change much. For example, if the core desired experience is a wish to help people in challenging circumstances, and they love biology, an emergency room physician might be a good match. However, a surgeon in a war zone might also work. However, some would prefer the local commute and safety of the emergency room over a war zone. That said, much of the career “impulse” is the same. I find that a lot of people get thrown by the fine tuning, like small/large corp, public/private sector, etc. Those can matter a lot, but they need to be differentiated from the core impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds smart and capable.

If she’s cute also, she can always bounce from job to job with ease.

Credential cute women in their twenties don’t need to worry about finding a career path or resume gaps.

Have you ever met a t20 grad that was hot that was involuntarily unemployed/underemployed?

You sound gross.

Can you actually think about females in jobs without commenting on how “hot” they are?? How disrespectful and unprofessional! I pray that my daughter never has you for a boss. And I hope whoever does have you for a boss sues you for discrimination.

Welcome to the real world.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-01-09/the-high-end-workouts-women-are-signing-up-for-to-become-the-boss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds smart and capable.

If she’s cute also, she can always bounce from job to job with ease.

Credential cute women in their twenties don’t need to worry about finding a career path or resume gaps.

Have you ever met a t20 grad that was hot that was involuntarily unemployed/underemployed?

You sound gross.

Can you actually think about females in jobs without commenting on how “hot” they are?? How disrespectful and unprofessional! I pray that my daughter never has you for a boss. And I hope whoever does have you for a boss sues you for discrimination.

Welcome to the real world.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-01-09/the-high-end-workouts-women-are-signing-up-for-to-become-the-boss

ugh, I lost brain cells reading that.

[Anonymous]

Let her do business consulting she will learn a lot of things in short time and will focus her in finding an industry she likes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds smart and capable.

If she’s cute also, she can always bounce from job to job with ease.

Credential cute women in their twenties don’t need to worry about finding a career path or resume gaps.

Have you ever met a t20 grad that was hot that was involuntarily unemployed/underemployed?

If only DCUM had a vomiting emoji. This is the perfect time to use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've given DC (now a rising junior in college) ultimate control of what she wants to do with her life. She initially came in as pre-med and has explored CS, policy work, and history -- taking courses and doing internships in these areas while keeping up with all the pre-med requirements. Now, we've reached the halfway point of her college career and we're trying to plan ahead for her grad school/career. Except... she's incredibly indecisive on what career she wants. She tells us, "Every time I find myself in the place I've always dreamed of, I always want to be somewhere else." For example, she loves her scientific research/volunteering, but thought something was missing - she wanted to understand how policymakers made decisions. So, she got back on her feet and is working on policy, and says she can't wait to get back to the lab - that policy work was everything she dreamed of, but it didn't engage with people. Here's the thing, she's good at everything she puts her mind to, so it's incredibly hard to guide her and her path forward. Do you all have any tips for helping to guide her along?

idealism meets realism

[Anonymous]

Ikigai

[Anonymous]

Whereever she can find a job.
It's not like you have all the power.

[Anonymous]

Missing critical information.

So what school and major?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing critical information.

So what school and major?

OP here. She's at Hopkins studying public health.