Would you ever have a move out talk after graduating

[Anonymous]

I would not start about moving out. I would start the conversation on his medium and long-term career/educational/housing plans.

[Anonymous]

Is there something wrong with him?

I think a year from now, due to covid, he should be moved out. Unless there is a very good reason/strategy for staying and you both agree.

[Anonymous]

OP has ghosted us.

[Anonymous]

Why would he think that he cannot move out?

[Anonymous]

I'm originally from Europe. I lived with my parents until age 27 and a half!

I commuted to college, then worked full time while living at home in my childhood bedroom.

When I was 26 my mom asked me what my plans were. Dad didn't ask me anything. He liked having me around. I didn't really have plans other than work.

My boyfriend was 3 years older than me and he also lived with his parents while working a full-time job. His mom still made him a lunch box every work day! LOL!

We managed to save a lot of money this way.

[Anonymous]

He needs to be paying rent to you, to cover the cost of his food and water/electric use and then a little more. That might give him the impetus to move out, but if it doesn’t, he’s not in quite so dependent a relationship to you.

[Anonymous]

yes, he should move out unless he is on a plan to pay iff student loans or save for a place. living with mom forever is not a good plan. of course he knows he CAN move out. he just doesn't want to spend the money!

does he have a girlfriend? how's that working?

[Anonymous]

Like everything, it depends.

My sister lived with my parents in her late 20s and they all really enjoyed it. Not financial. No controlling behavior. My sister described my Dad in a fun sweet way I never knew him. I moved out after stupid teen years.

It depends.

[Anonymous]

As long as the relationship between the parents and adult child are good without tension due to so many adults living in the same space, I don't see a problem with it.

It's very common in other cultures. I actually really like this aspect from those cultures and would happily use it in my family life.

I will say, I think it's becoming more common for adult kids these days to live with their parents for longer. I have several single and married coworkers in their 20s and 30s who live with parents. They are saving for a down payment on a house of their own.

[Anonymous]

Interestingly, my DD, 24, decided to move out as soon as I broached paying me a modest rent to cover utilities and food.

I miss having her here, but I knew she would be happier on her own. She was trying to save up a cushion of money after graduating college the prior year, and that was the nudge that it took to have her start looking at apartments.

[Anonymous]

I can't even imagine this scenario. My kids are independent enough before they turn 18 that they usually don't even wait until their 18th birthdays before they say See ya, Mum! and head out for parts unknown. They are all successful in their ventures without any input from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated college in 2018, been working since then making over 60k, should we ever have the talk if he wants to move out he can?

I would have given him six months free room and board. After that he would pay rent which would include good and utilities and that would have been for only another year. He's an adult with a good job and the time is long since passed when you should have changed the locks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as the relationship between the parents and adult child are good without tension due to so many adults living in the same space, I don't see a problem with it.

It's very common in other cultures. I actually really like this aspect from those cultures and would happily use it in my family life.

I will say, I think it's becoming more common for adult kids these days to live with their parents for longer. I have several single and married coworkers in their 20s and 30s who live with parents. They are saving for a down payment on a house of their own.

They are mooching off their parents.