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I know people with this dynamic, too. The PP whose mom moved in with her temporarily is on to something.
You just have to leave sometimes. Or choose to drop the ball. Leaving -for a week+- is easier for those with high standards because you don’t have it look at the mess for a while. If your house has more than 1 full bath, claim one for yourself, which meets your standard. The other…don’t even open the door. Dishes is a hard one; I haven’t had to deal with that. except our kitchen would have roaches within a couple days if we didn’t clean it well. |
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This was my mom. She was a perfectionist who constantly nitpicked on my dad, my brother, and myself, and then complained that none of us wanted to help out in the kitchen. It was very unpleasant around her. My dad basically stopped trying. She'd use me as her therapist and dump all her grievances on me.
I became mindful after my own marriage not to be a maytr. I bite my tongue and don't micromanage my DH when he does things around the house. My brother, who coped with our mom by not doing any chores, eventually did become a more equitable partner in his marriage by focusing on things that played to his strength. So I say there's hope yet for children of such dysfunctional family dynamic. |
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Yeah my parents do this. When I had my first born, my dad was obsessed with her. When she peed her diaper and I was out- he texted me what to do?! I told him to change it. He figured it out and did it. From then on out, he changed their diapers anytime he was babysitting or he was out on a walk with them.
My mom can't BELIEVE my dad knew how to change a diaper because he didn't change any of our diapers and she always had to do it. I can't imagine why that was! ha She criticizes absolutely everything and didn't even think my dad could babysit for an hour so I could even run an errand. |
And the best part was that my dad is a rocket scientist. Apparently she didn't think he could learn how to work a stove or turn on the washing machine. Turns out, it's not rocket science! |
YouTube is great! |