Going out of country—how to prepare my parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's dramatic. Of course you will be able to call them. Tell them and teach them how to use What's app and you can probably still talk to them alternate days for 10 minutes.

Keep in touch and send them a few photos every day so they feel connected.

And get a friend or relative to call in case of emergency, clear it with the friend and tell your parents and leave the phone number so if they need to rush to the hospital or something, they have someone local to call.

Just tell them now and give them time to adjust. It's fine.

We won’t. We aren’t paying for the Wi-Fi package as the point of the trip is to unplug, and I’m not paying for international calls.

You’re a terrible daughter if you don’t check in on your elderly parents at every couple days during that trip. What if one of them dies and they are all alone? Are they supposed to plan an entire funeral by themselves or just wait for you to return?

You are an only child. They are dependent on you. Old people are like children in many ways. Remember that and care for them as such. If you can’t handle that then arrange for someone to check in on them and then be in contact with that person every couple days. You need to think about this a lot more, you don’t just leave old people alone for a couple weeks. Put them in a home if you can’t be bothered with them.

Huh? Did you miss this part of her OP: "My parents are physically completely self-sufficient"

[Anonymous]

Go now OP and don't look back!

70s is not that old. I have no idea what the back story is to the PP who tore into you. Often these people have their own wounds.

My parents are in their 80s and that's a whole different ball of wax.

Go now while you can and as often as you can. A time will come when you legitimately can't go and you'll kick yourself for not taking these brakes now.

Now way to break it gently to your parents. Just say it matter-of-factly. Sure they'll sulk, but if they are co-dependent on you, they'll come back. It'll be okay.

[Anonymous]

*breaks

[Anonymous]

Okay, this may seem like a stretch, but when we were moving, I only told my 5 year old 2 weeks before the move. I know she couldn't handle it knowing too far ahead of time. She has some anxiety and would be thinking of worst case scenarios. When I told her finally, she got upset. We moved and she moved on.

I wouldn't tell your parents too far ahead of your trip. They won't get used to it or be prepared for it. It will just give your mom more time to ruminate. When you return, they will probably passive-aggressively mention how you left them. Don't take the bait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them that if they truly, truly need to reach you they can call the cruise line office.

No, they will call the cruise line office with issues like this:

1. I can't find my glasses; did you see them last time you were here?
2. Your father is driving me crazy - he won't turn up his hearing aid so I can yell at him
3. I just wanted to remind you to take a picture in that dress we talked about - you don't have to send it to me now because I know you're on vacation relaxing but for when you get back.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll post right? Cut the cord already.

[Anonymous]

You can make calls, and internet is available.

[Anonymous]

Give them the cruise line emergency number and tell them what it’s for. If they want to abuse it, let the cruise company deal with it. It will be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP! You’re a GREAT daughter to be worried about this. Your parents are able bodies and can take care of themselves.

Do not tell them until the last minute…..

Go have a great time☺️

[Anonymous]

Just let them know in advance. You are all adults and you should enjoy your vacation. If they worry, they worry but come on, this is a very unhealthy dynamic.

[Anonymous]

About 5 years ago, some friends with a 90+ year old mother/MIL took a cruise. Mom had some health issues but lived independently. Myself and a nurse friend of theirs were on alert. While they were gone, Mom had an event that required hospitalization. Son & IL were alerted, nurse friend and I did what was necessary in the meantime. All was fine. Son & IL made their way home.

That was a person who could have been the parent of OP's parents, age-wise. Whaddaya do, not live your life? Hopefully there are friends/relatives on call for any emergency. But as everyone else who's sane on this thread have mentioned, 70 is really not that old.

[Anonymous]

Use email when you have WiFi. It won’t be immediate, it each of you will know that you are all alive. Geez, OP, tell them sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

It’s ONE WEEK!

If there is a true emergency, they can call the cruise line.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow - I thought you were talking about an international move - not a week long vacation. You just got to tell them. It's really something they should be able to handle. Also you should be able to text with them fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have anxious parents so I understand. It's really hard to deal with -- and I do feel guilty when I can't be there for them -- but you can't have them hold you back and bring you down with their fears. One week away is fine. They need to deal and somewhere realize that this is good for you and be happy about that. You deserve vacations.