Parent helps out but lies to me

[Anonymous]

I sort of think you may be expecting too much from your mom. Has she always been a bit scattered or disorganized? Maybe she didn't have you in quite so many activities.

Anyway, I'm a single parent and it is really hard to find reliable help to transport kids to activities. I had a friend who contracted a cab company to make it a regular run. Is there another parent who could transport them? I think even if mom is helping out, it is on you to have the bag packed and ready to go. Maybe you could freeze the water bottle and leave the items in the car in the morning, with the thought that it will melt by afterschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not want to listen to you give her grief about forgetting water bottles so lies to cover it up. How old are the kids? They can be responsible. Or pack everything up and even put in the car so less likely to forget.

You also may need to loosen up a bit. Doubt a camp would refuse your kid water if they forgot one. But once again, any kid over 5 would learn to remember it next time.

Well not my kids. They often have issues with clothing and sunscreen and when to be at places etc. They have different schedules on different days which complicates things. They are preteen ages.

For preteens? Do they have special needs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not want to listen to you give her grief about forgetting water bottles so lies to cover it up. How old are the kids? They can be responsible. Or pack everything up and even put in the car so less likely to forget.

You also may need to loosen up a bit. Doubt a camp would refuse your kid water if they forgot one. But once again, any kid over 5 would learn to remember it next time.

Well not my kids. They often have issues with clothing and sunscreen and when to be at places etc. They have different schedules on different days which complicates things. They are preteen ages.

For preteens? Do they have special needs?

yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sort of think you may be expecting too much from your mom. Has she always been a bit scattered or disorganized? Maybe she didn't have you in quite so many activities.

Anyway, I'm a single parent and it is really hard to find reliable help to transport kids to activities. I had a friend who contracted a cab company to make it a regular run. Is there another parent who could transport them? I think even if mom is helping out, it is on you to have the bag packed and ready to go. Maybe you could freeze the water bottle and leave the items in the car in the morning, with the thought that it will melt by afterschool.

Well it's her car left at her house that she uses. I do a lot of this stuff but she often runs late even if I ask her to pick up the kids 15 minutes early she's there 25 minutes late and will say traffic but really t's the same run she always does. Unfortunately also our life is not clockwork and so it's not always routine. Basketball practice is only on Tuesdays but then it gets cancelled and moved. The therapist has an opening on Wednesday. One of the kids hurt themselves in gym class. Typical stuff why often there is a stay at home mom. It's just the lies that are hard to deal with. The rest I understand is a part of life. But cognitive decline seems to encourage this sort of behavior both by accident and on purpose.

[Anonymous]

I think I'll just have to hire help throughout the year and then have her do very specific routine things. I'm still working on apps to help the kids manage their lives better. But that's for another forum. Thanks all.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I feel for all of you. My parents are in Europe and don't have the opportunity to help, but then they're anxiety-riddled and very old school, so it might not go so well if they did anyway...

My son has severe ADHD and yes, it's been very hard for him to step up, as a PP said. Yet, when adults aren't around, that's exactly what they need to do. That and doing fewer things that need adult supervision. I know it's disappointing to miss certain activities, but if the adult in charge is not reliable... there aren't a lot of options.